White Picket Fences
by runner813
Summary: Not really sure how to sumarize it. 25 years in the future. Main focus will be on Meredith's daughter, but will have other points of view as well. MerDer.
1. Halle

A/N: Ok, this is my first stab at this. I usually write original stuff, I'm in the middle of a novel right now, but have been experiencing severe writer's block. My hope is that this will help me get through that.

So, the story, it will mainly focus on Meredith's daughter, Halle (pronounced Hayley - and I could spell it that way, but I'm weird). It will jump back and forth between present (2032) and past (2007) when Halle was born. The chapters will all be from different points of view, with the main focus being on Halle. Enjoy and thanks for reading!

**Seattle, May, 2032**

"I thought I heard you come in."

I jump slightly at the sound of my mother's voice as she enters my room. Well, my old room I guess. At 25, I'm not so sure I can call a bedroom at my parent's house mine.

"Yeah, Miranda dropped me off a few minutes ago. I thought you were going to the hospital."

"I was. But then I figured I'd wait around cause my baby girl was coming home. And I still can't believe you call her Miranda."

"What would you like me to call her? Nazi? That would make family dinners interesting. Hey Nazi, please pass the potatoes."

"Aren't they already interesting enough?"

"This is true," I tell her through a chuckle thinking of the crazy, mixed up family I'm a part of, "What time do you have to be in?"

"ummm...an hour ago? I technically started at 6, but I moved a few surgeries and told the chief I had to be here to see my baby."

"I bet that went over well...how'd you win that one?"

"The same way I always do." She answered, a smirk appearing on her face.

"ewwww..."

"Are you still grossed out by the thought of your parents having sex?"

"ummm...yeah. No kid wants to think about that mom, seriously. No matter how old they get."

"Well Hal, it happens. You and your sister weren't adopted. Did I ever tell you about that night?" She asks, her voice trailing off.

"Stop. Yes, yes you did, he did, and I'm pretty sure Aunt Christina did one night after she had a few too many."

"It was," She begins, in a teasing voice.

"The night of prom...yada, yada, yada. Please stop. I was hoping we could go visit Joe and have lunch, but now, all I want is you to go to the hospital. Go share your conception stories with Christina...or Izzie...or a patient for all I care. Just do it some where else." I tell her, with a voice full of laughter and eyes full of tears.

"You know you love 'em." She tells me, picking up a pillow off the chair and throwing it at me.

"Like I love a hot poker in my eye." I tell her, throwing the pillow back across the room and plopping down on the bed.

"Alright baby, I really do need to go now."

"Yeah, you do...or the chief will...I don't know, make you sleep on the couch."

"No dear, I'll be sleeping here, you will be on the couch."

"That's what you think," I tell her as she turns and heads out the door. Before she's made it completely out, I grab a pillow off the bed and nail her, square in the butt. "That," I say, "Is what I think."

"Later, missy, you're all mine." She yells as she makes her way down the stairs.

I lie back on the bed and start thinking about unpacking. Soon, I hear mom's car backing out of the driveway. My mind quickly drifts as I take in everything in my room. For the most part, nothing has changed. Nothing physically anyway. My eyes fall on the pictures on my night stand. I pick up the middle one, a photo of myself, mom, and Hannah. I think Hannah and I were about nine at the time, and I believe it was taken at the zoo. I trace the outline of the three of our heads, pulled together and all smiling, and really, that's what I remember most about childhood. The laughter and smiling. Despite the strange upbringing we had, Hannah and I were, for the most part, happy. There was food on the table and toys in our rooms and more love to go around than the two of us would ever need.

Of course there is that obvious damage. We all have it. Like my mom said once, we are all damaged. Sometimes it's intentional, more often than not, it's unintentional, but it happens. No one gets through life completely unscathed. Just doesn't happen. Pure and simple. I'm pretty sure we were the only kids in our class making Father's Day cards for Uncle George and Grandpa Richard. Men who were by no means grandpa or uncle and sure as hell not father, but, they were definitely something. And there is no doubt in my mind that we would have been in a world of hurt without them.

I pick up the picture on the left of the table, another favorite. It's from my college graduation/medical school acceptance party. I place the one of my mom and sister back on the table and pick up the photo of my dad and I. He had made a speach in my honor, I almost chuckle now at how hard it was to hold the tears in at the time, and when he was done, I got up and hugged him. We were both laughing through our tears, and my always prepared Willam caught the perfect moment on camera. Laying on the bed, I think that it's almost amazing how happy we are, were, have been since day one. I remember back to the days when I didn't know who he was, and I didn't know who I looked like and acted like, and why my mom wouldn't let me listen to The Clash.

I set that picture down, taking one last glance at it and the one of my mom and sister as my eyes drift to the frame on the right. If the other two are my past and present, this one is definitely my future. I pick up the two fold frame Miranda gave me two years ago. The first picture is of William and I after a soccer game when we were about...six...seven...I don't know. Back when boys had cooties, but William was different. He never had cooties, he was always my best friend. The second picture it holds is from Valentine's Day, my birthday, two years ago. It was taken at Delancy's, one of the fanciest restaurants in Seattle. Again, we're happy. His arm is around my shoulders, my right arm around his waist, and my left hand held high for all to see.

I place the picture back on the table and sink deeper into my thoughts. Sometimes I wish I could go back and live in the soccer picture or the zoo photo...or in my dad's hug. What if this isn't right? What if something goes wrong? What if we're not happy? It happens, I mean, look at dad. He thought he was happy for 11 years. It took him ten more years for him to decide what was really important. What if this isn't really what I want?

"Hey there baby girl."

I look up and meet my dad's eyes. I was so deep in thought I didn't even hear him come in the house or in my room.

"Hi Daddy."

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"I...I don't know." I tell him as I hurriedly wipe away tears I didn't know I was crying.

"Did I ever tell you that you're a really bad liar?" He asks, moving towards the bed.

"Nah…but I guess you're right. That was more Hannah's thing than mine." I tell him, as I look up and my gaze meets his. As identical blue eyes meet for the first time in months, I take in the man in front of me. Age has treated him kindly, the only thing hinting he's a day over forty five are the wisps of grey that have replaced the brown. I smile in amazement at how much we are alike. I have my mother's build, but that's about it. My hair, my eyes, both his, and I remember back to childhood, how frustrated I used to get not understanding why I didn't look more like Hannah and my mom.

"Be nice to your sister. And, speaking of Hannah, her flight is delayed in New York. She's not getting in until tomorrow."

"Yeah? What area code did she call from? Ten bucks says she's at Joe's…drinking Tequila…picking up a guy…and going home with him."

"Halle, seriously, stop. You two will always be my little girls. No matter how old you get, so please refrain from sharing your sexcapades."

"Not mine…hers. She's much more interesting. And I am being nice. I love my sister."

"Right. Back to you. Why is it that I find you up here crying, coming up upon what is supposed to be the happiest day of your life?"

"That day was fifteen years ago, dad. But…what…what if I'm not ready. We're not ready. Something happens. I mean, we're young. I…I just finished medical school. Will still has a year left. There's so much time for god knows what to go wrong. I mean, how do you know. You…you thought you knew. You and Addison got married young…and you thought it was forever. I mean, what if something happens…and…and it's not."

"Whoa….calm down. Honestly sweetie, I can't tell you that life is a fairy tale and that everything will be ok, because I don't know that it will. You just have to go with it, and make it your fairy tale. Will has been your best friend forever, he's like an offset of you, we don't see one of you without the other, and we haven't since you were three. And, I have a good feeling about you two. You'll have the fairy tale, cause babe, you deserve it. If anyone does, it's you. If, if something were to happen, then it happens for a reason. Addison and I, we had sixteen wonderful years. And for a while, I prayed for nothing other than for us to go back to normal. But, it didn't happen. And I thank God everyday for the unanswered prayers, because your mother and I, what we have is special…and it brought us you and your sister. Halle, you and Will, you guys have it too. You'll look gorgeous on Saturday and Australia will be fantastic, then you'll have the house and the dog and the career and the houseful of kids, or just lots of fun trying."

"Daaad. The whole sex thing…that goes for you too. And you haven't even seen my dress yet, it could look horrible."

"I don't need to see it to know you'll look gorgeous. You always do. Just like your mother. Did I ever tell you about the prom we went to?"

"Ugh…you people don't know when to stop." I say, laughing again and hitting him with a pillow. "If you can be normal, can we go get some lunch. I'm starving, and I'm sure you'd just love to buy me lunch."

"Anything for you." He says, taking my arms and pulling me off the bed. On our way out the door, I take one last look at the pictures and at the closet door, behind which, is my dress.

"Dad," I say. He turns back to look at me, "Thanks."


	2. Izzie

A/N: Thank you for the reviews :) glad people are enjoying this...and hopefully it will help me get over my writer's block with my own story. This one didnt turn out as well as I would have liked, but I need it for a filler. This chapter jumps back to the past and is from Izzie's POV. The italicized words are Meredith on the phone.

oh..and cause I forgot last time...I don't own Grey's Anatomy...or any part of it...if I did, I'd...well, I'd be somewhere else.

**Manhattan 2017**

"One ring, Mer, I think that's a new record."

_"Izzie? Is that you? Is everything alright? Is Halle ok?"_

"Like the caller ID didn't tell you it was me before you picked up the phone. Like you don't have it directly in front of you where ever you are right now."

_"Not funny. Is my daughter ok? Is she pissed at me because I'm not there?"_

"Mer, seriously, calm down. Halle's fine. She's no more pissed at you now then she was last time you called, which, I have to say was...twenty minutes ago. She's still not pissed you aren't here, although, I think she's mad I'm here and not uncle George. Although I did tell her that Uncle George can't french braid hair."

_"Izzie, you can't french braid hair."_

"I'm on top of it. The braid Beth's mom did this morning has held up fabulously."

_"Ha! But she's really ok? I just...I feel bad that this is a big meet and I'm not there to see it. She's gonna do well, I just know it. And, I'm going to miss it. I promised I wouldn't do this. I wouldn't become my mother."_

"Seriously Mer, she's fine. You need to drop the worried mother act and go cut someone open or something."

_"Izzie! I can't think about surgery at a time like this. As much as I may be becoming my mother, I am so not there yet. How is she doing?"_

"Well, they just updated the standings..."

_"And? How is she doing? Ahead? Behind? Come on Izzie...curious minds want to know."_

"Wow...you are something else today."

_"Izzie!"_

"You want to know? You really want to know?"

_"Yes, damnit tell me! Before I come over there..."_

"Come over here and what? Seattle is a long way away...kind of like the kingdom of Far Far Away."

_"Ok, Izzie, think. One track...scores...standings...my daughter..."_

"Oh...right. Halle. Right now, after her first vault, last event, is our current front runner. She's gonna take this Mer. She has one more vault, I thought I'd call and share it with you. California Sharon is up now, then they both have one left."

_"GO HALLE!"_

"Mer, she can't hear you...but you did just successfully blow out my ear drum."

_"But she could beat California Sharon. She's been trailing her for almost two years now."_

"Oh My God! Mer, she fell. Perfect California girl just landed on her ass."

_"What! What does that mean? She's ok right. Here we are celebrating this poor child falling on her ass."_

"Would this be the same poor child who sticks her tongue out at your daughter and makes fun of her on a regular basis?"

_"Point taken."_

"Oh...ok...hush up. Halle's last vault. Honestly, she doesn't need to take it. 9.72 on the first one, no way that won't give her the meet."

_"Ok. Tell me when it's over. I can't watch."_

"You're not watching..."

"_Oh, right."_

I watched as Halle began her run towards the vault, so much power packed into such a little body. She definitely had her mother in her. Tiny and rail thin, she has the body I would assume Mer had at that age. She hits the spring board and launches into the air, somersaulting and twisting, her long black braid chasing behind her. At the same time, it amazes me how much of Derek she has in her. The full head of gorgeous black hair and the piercing blue eyes. She is so much his child, which frustrates her to no end. She's seen a photo, but, it's not the same. Seeing a photo of the man who gave you your eyes, your hair, your facial features, and strangely enough, most of your attitude and tastes in food and music, is nothing like having him be a part of your life. Meredith tries to answer her questions and discuss him with her, but, it's hard for Mer too, having a living, breathing, replica of her one true love and starcrossed relationship. It's gotten harder for Halle, as she gets older, seeing Hannah, who becomes more like carbon copy of her mother every day, and not knowing where her gorgeous looks come from. But on the other hand, I know Hannah is insanely jelous of Halle's beautiful hair and sparkling eyes.

Halle always said vault was her favorite event, made her feel like she was flying. It was also one of my favorites to watch, be it at practice or at a competition. Because she did look like she was flying, and then, after she stuck a perfect landing, she'd look at me, flash me a thumbs up, and say, 'nothin' but net'. Which, we both know is a basketball term, but, we also don't care. It's our thing, and we don't have many things, so I treasure it, no matter how silly it may seem to anyone else.

What I expected was for Halle to land the vault, nothing short of perfection, like always, and a definite nothing but net conversation on the way back to the hotel. What I didn't expect was her rapid decent to the mat, head first, body following. The smack was sickening, and I'm pretty sure it was the smack heard round the gym.

_"Izzie? Izzie! What happened? Why are you gasping? Did she do it?"_

I had forgotten I had Meredith on the phone until her panicked voice interruped my gasp.

"Oh My God. I...I have to go. Just get here Mer. Go to the airport, get on the next flight out, and get here." I hung up the phone as I jumped up from my seat and ran toward the floor. I should be explaining what just happened to Meredith, Halle is after all, her daughter. But, somethings are more important, and right now, that thing is the lifeless body of a ten year old. I get to the bottom of the bleachers and sprint out to where Halle has fallen, dodging security as I go. Please God, just let her be ok. Don't put Mer and Hannah through this. Don't put any of us through this.


	3. Halle 2

i dont own greys...unfortunately... 

**Manhattan 2017**

"Mommy?"

"Oh my God…Halle? Sweetie? Can you hear me?"

"Aunt Izzie? What happened? Where's my mom? Why can't I move?" I ask, attempting to struggle free of whatever is holding me down.

"Hey, hey, don't panic. Do you remember what happened?"

"I…I was….I don't know…" I tell her, starting to cry.

"It's ok baby, don't cry. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

"What…what happened? Where am I? Why isn't mommy here? Mommy's always here."

"She's coming sweetie. On her way now, she should be flying in soon."

"Flying in from where? Where am I?"

"Halle, what's the last thing you remember?"

"Ummm….walking home from school with Will on Friday. Talking about our weekend plans. He wished me luck in the meet in New York…Oh man, Izzie, what happened?"

"Well sweetie, you were on your last event, vault."

"My favorite."

"Your favorite, you scored a 9.72 on your first vault."

"And I took a second?"

"And you took a second. And…" I couldn't figure out why Aunt Izzie was getting so choked up.

"And what Aunt Izzie? And why can't I move my toes?"

"You…you landed on your head baby. They…they don't know what the extent of your injuries. We're waiting on a brain doctor right now."

"Neuro Aunt Izzie, we're waiting on Neuro."

"Right, I forget you speak doctor too."

"Only cause my mom is a Neurologist."

"Smart ass."

"Thanks. I think. So, the meet. What else happened. What happened after I fell? Did I place? I remember now…I…I was ahead. I was winning. I was finally beating California Sharon. For the first time in my life. My first fault still counted, right? How did I do? How did I do?" I ask, freeing my left hand and reaching for hers."

"You can move your arm!"

"Yeah…I guess I can. How did I do? Did I win?"

"Yeah baby, you won."

"WOOHOO!" I cheer, picking up both of my arms. "bout damn time. Oww…maybe not such a good idea." I tell her, carefully laying my limbs back down.

"Careful, and don't swear. If your mother heard you talking like that…"

"She'd get over it. Where is she?"

"She's flying in. Wait, I already told you that…"

"Oh, right…."

"Sweetie, can you hang here? I'm going to go call your mother and let her know you're awake."

"Not like I could go anywhere if I wanted to." She got up out of the chair and ruffled my hair.

"I'm glad you're up."

"Aunt Izzie," I call, before she leaves the room.

"Yeah?" She questions, turning around.

"Nothin' but net."

"Nothin' but net'" She repeats back to me, with a hint of something in her voice, either sadness or distress or maybe both. I can't really tell. I hear the click of the door and a few seconds later, I hear a second click.

"That was fast." I say.

"Well, that's something I don't hear everyday."

Startled by the newcomer, I try to lift my head to look at him.

"Wait…wait. Hold on. Don't move."

"Can you come closer then? I….I can't see you."

"Sure." He steps closer to my bed and I could swear I've seen him before. "Hi there. I'm Dr. Shepherd, and you are?"

"Halle. Halle Shepherd." I tell respond. Still unsure of where I know him from. I note the change in his facial expression after I tell him my last name.

"Pleased to meet you Halle. Now, I hear you landed on your head. I also hear that you can move your arms now."

"Yeah," I tell him and raise both arms up, and squeeze my hands into fists."

"Ok, Halle, can you wiggle your toes?"

I try, but with no success. Same with moving my legs or hips or anything that wasn't my arms.

"So, here's what we're going to do," He tells me, after half a dozen tests. "I'm going to get you a CT scan and a few more x-rays. I'm going to give you the sedative for the CT, so after she puts this in," he says gesturing to the nurse holding a syringe…

"I'm going to feel a little sleepy, and I'll be groggy after I wake up." I pause for a second and smile at the amazement in his eyes. "My mom is a neurologist. In Seattle."

"Ahh….she raised a smart daughter. Will she be back soon?" He asked.

I realize then that he's talking about Izzie, who has been gone now for quite sometime. "Oh…her…NOT my mother. She's on her way though. Aunt Izzie said she'd be here soon."

"Good. I'm looking forward to it."

At that moment, Izzie came back in and her jaw hit the floor. It was then that it all made sense. Why he was so familiar. "Dr. Shepherd." she said.

"Dr. Stevens." He replied. "I was just talking to Halle and explaining how we were going to sedate her for a CT."

"Oh…ok." Izzie stuttered

After one final glance around the room, Dr. Shepherd exited as quickly as he had come. Aunt Izzie resumed her previous position in the chair next to my bed and took my hand as I drifted away.

"Aunt Izzie," I say softly, "He's here. The man in the picture. It's him."

"Yeah baby, he is."


	4. Meredith

A/N: ok, this didnt turn out as well as i would have liked...or maybe im just being over-critical, i usually dont like my writing...anyway...thank you for all the reviews, im glad youre liking this :) i dont own greys...if i did...well, i wouldnt have been working til 830 tonite...would i? ;) 

Wind. I had managed to leave Seattle in record time. Chief Webber had taken responsibility for my shifts. George had pulled Hannah out of school and driven them to the airport. The woman at the ticket counter had expressed them to the gate, and the flight had even gotten in early. But now wind. Wind had shut JFK down to three runways, wind was delaying their flight, and wind was now the reason I would not see my baby girl for another four hours. My baby girl and Derek Shepherd.

Derek Shepherd. The mere thought of his name made my heart skip a beat. Still, after all these years and all he had put me through. I still blame him for a lot. Whether or not this was fair, I don't care. It's always easier to blame someone else than rip open your own faults. It was his fault for lying, and for holding on, and for leaving. It was his fault Halle was across the country in the ICU and it was his fault I had spent the past five hours of her life dragging a cranky, sleepy ten year old through airports. How this was the case, I wasn't exactly sure, but after hearing that one child was severely injured and dragging another through the airport, I was sure it was someone's problem, might as well be his.

But seriously, after everything, knowing what I do now, I wouldn't change any of it. Well, maybe the part about him leaving. After he left, I didn't think I would ever love again, but that was before I met the children we had created. They were her world now, it wasn't until them that she realized how perfect the world really could be. It was them who taught her how to love again. Sure, it was tough, and sometimes thankless, but she loved being a mom. Looking down at the sleeping blonde, she was reminded how much she loved her baby girl.

After talking to Izzie, I was sure Derek was with my other baby, and on some level, this was relaxing and made the wait to get to her bearable. Part of me was thrilled Derek was taking care of Halle. When your child is hurt, you want the best, and when it came to neuro, Derek was the best. However, the other part of me was terrified. Terrified of how Derek would react when he saw her again. Terrified of how he would react when he found out Halle was his, even though, deep down, I know he already had. Terrified even more of his reaction when he found out about Hannah.

Why, why had I given the girls his last name? I had meant to say Grey…I had said Grey…Shepherd just seemed to sneak out there. And why, if one of them had to get hurt and end up in the Neuro ICU in Manhattan of all places, did it have to be the twin who was a dead-ringer for her father. Why couldn't it have been the blonde haired, grey eyed child, I though as I twisted Hannah's hair in my fingers while she slept in my lap. I almost chuckled at that thought. As Izzie had said to her earlier, it's hard to smack your head playing piano. Halle was definitely her more adventurous child, brash and fearless, cocky and self-confident, just as Derek had been. It amazed her, how much they were alike, despite the fact that they had never met. Halle Ellis was a constant reminder of her one true love and as hard as that was for her, it made her love Halle even more.

"Flight 6603 to JFK now boarding, I repeat, Flight 6603 to JFK is now boarding."

"Hannah…Hannah, baby, wake up," I softly say to my sleeping child. "We have to get on the plane now."

"I wanna sleep mommy…" says the sleepy voice that answers me.

"I know baby, I know…and you can, as soon as we get on the plane."

"mmmmm," is the only response I receive.

I sigh deeply and rearrange the bags I am carrying, and then reach down and Hannah sleepily falls into my arms from the chair. It takes almost all that is left of me to lift her and both of our carry-ons, but I'm used to it. That's part of being a single parent. Biting off more than you can chew, and seriously, I think I bit off the whole pizza, in one bite. I silently thank my genes as I carry my sleeping child toward the gate. For a ten year old, she's small. Halle's smaller, she looks 7 or maybe 8 on a good day. Hannah's a little taller, a little bigger, looks maybe 9, maybe 10 on a good day.

I hand the gate agent my ticket, and step across the threshold of the plane, the threshold to a new chapter in my life. As I carry Hannah on board, I realize that everything important to me is right here, and my other baby girl is waiting on the other end. And no matter what happens with Derek, I have the girls now, and I, we have to hold it together for them. Derek and I, we were messy last time around. We had both gotten hurt, but that's what happens. You fall, you don't get caught, you crash, you burn, you eventually move on with life. That's the risk that comes with loving, the risk that comes with adulthood, with growing up. The girls, they aren't there yet, and I…I have to take a backseat to them, and take my feelings with me. Derek, he was my past. Halle and Hannah, they're my future.


	5. Derek

A/N: Thank you for all the reviews! I'm glad people are liking this. I actually kind of like this chapter :) I don't own Grey's... 

I left Halle's room unsure of where to go. I found myself blindly walking down the corridors of the ICU towards the elevators. I hear a few Dr. Shepherds, but I ignore them. I'm really in no mindset to talk to anyone right now. I am a father. I have a daughter. That little girl in 3113, she's mine. I...I have a daughter. I feel like I'm living in a dream world as I step into the elevator and push the button for the roof. Then I realize that something could be wrong with her. She could be paralyzed. It is then I decide that perhaps I'm living a nightmare instead.

The elevator dings, signaling that it has reached its destination, and I step out into the cool New York winter. I had always liked the roof of the hospital. It was quiet and secluded, like nowhere else in the hospital, a good thinking spot. And God knows, that's what I needed right now. I have a daughter. Those four words still seem so surreal.

Even though I've yet to hear that she is officially mine, there is little doubt in my mind. She has my name, my hair, and my eyes. Her middle name is Ellis…if she's not ours, then, well, it's one hell of a coincidence. She's ten, born in February, which would have put her conception...right around...the last time Mer and I were together. Mer...I don't even know if I still have the right to call her that. And then I left...I left before she even would have known. And worse I never said goodbye.

I wrap my arms tightly around my body. Had I planned better, I would have brought a coat, but then again, I didn't know I had a daughter, and I sure as hell wasn't planning on meeting her tonight.

"I thought I might find you here." The familiar voice brings me out of my thoughts and back to reality.

"Addison," I utter.

"Here," she says, handing me my coat. "Thought you might want this." She said, as the wind picked up again. "Damnit Derek, it's freezing out here. Why is this your thinking spot. Couldn't you have picked some place warm? Like inside? A closet, a bathroom, anything."

"It's peaceful out here. You can see the whole city."

"Yes, we've had this conversation."

"I like it up here. Good place to think."

"I know."

"That's why I love you."

"I know," she responds. "So...are you going to let me in? Are you going to tell me what's up? Or am I going to have to guess?"

"I...I don't know."

"Damnit Derek! Don't do this. Don't shut me out. Not after two nurses, one doctor, and one very concerned chief paged me to find out what the hell is wrong with you."

"I don't know, Addie," I begin, taking her hand, thanking God when she doesn't pull away. "I don't know where to begin."

"How about if you start with the patient in 3113."

"You know about her?"

"Of course I do, I know everything. That and I ran into Izzie Stevens earlier."

"You...you saw Izzie. Wait, she left Halle alone?" I ask, making a move around Addison toward the elevators, but stop when she tightens her grip on my hand.

"Halle's fine. Slightly aggrivated that she can't move I'm sure, but she's had the sedative, so I'm sure she's out by now."

"You...went in there."

"I did."

"You saw her...and her chart?"

"I did. She's beautiful Derek. She has your eyes, and your smile, and God help us all, your smartass personality."

"You talked to her?"

"I did. Izzie had to step out for a minute, so I stayed with her while Angie stuck her. Poor girl, Angie never was a good stick, tried to joke that she had seen it done on ER a few times. After try number 2, I sent her on her way and took over. Halle asked me if she really did learn to practice medicine on ER."

"Smart ass."

"That was only one of a few. She seems like a great kid. Meredith did a good job."

"You know?"

"Please Derek. Who else's would she be? Unless there was someone else in Seattle...who happened to be a neuro surgeon and who happened to be best friends with Izzie Stevens. And who would have had a reason to give her child the middle name Ellis and last name Shepherd.

"Only you would find humor in this situation."

"Gotta find something to get you through," she said. Squeezing my hand. "She's on her way, you know. Meredith. Should be here soon according to Dr. Stevens, she said their flight was delayed an hour, but that they would be here soon. Have you thought about what you're going to say to her?"

"I...I don't know. I...I thought for years about what I would say to her when I saw her again. Never would have guessed it would play out like this. Nothing seems fitting. We had such a long, sordid history. And...and then I left. I left her. I left her alone and pregnant. Oh God, Addie, what have I done?" I ask, my burried emotions finally catching up with me.

"Come here," she says, pulling me into a hug, her growing belly pushing against me. "I don't know Derek. I haven't seen or heard from Meredith Grey in ten years. I don't know how much she's changed or how she'll react. But you can bet she knows you're here, and you're working on Halle's case. And honestly, she's probably just as nervous as you are. Just promise me one thing," she says, pushing me back from her and looking me directly in the eye, "Whatever the two of you decide, remember that little girl. That little girl who will soon think the world of you, if she doesn't already. There's an innocent bystander now, and she has to be your top priority."

I look back into her eyes and am reminded of how much I love Addie. Sometimes, it's like she knows me better than I know myself.

"Alright, I'm going to head back in. Don't stay out here too long. It's freezing."

"Yeah. Good idea. You shouldn't be out here anyway, you need to be taking care of yourself."

"So do you. It's not just about you anymore, Derek. That's the scariest part. The minute that strip turns pink, you realize that someone else will always come first. But, you get used to it. And, then you forget that there even was another way of life. Ok, I really am going to head in now. Gonna get home and catch a few hours of sleep. Call if you need anything."

I watch her walk away, taking my past with her. I think back to the days when I didn't think I would ever see anything more beautiful, and even today, I would still tell you that Addison is beautiful. As I watch her pregnant form walk away, I thank God for bringing her into my life, and for keeping her there. I relish in the thought that she is happy and that somewhere, part of that happiness still includes me, even if it isn't me making her happy.

"Addison," I call after her, "Thank you."

She pauses in her step and turns around.

"And you're going to make a wonderful mother." She offers a sympathetic smile and nods as she turns around, continuing the rest of the way back to the hospital.

I take a deep breath. I have a daughter. And I'm going to see the love of my life in a matter of hours. What if she's changed. What if she won't talk to me, God knows I'd deserve it. What...what if she's with someone...what if she's married? Addison did say that they were on their way. Who on earth is they? Not that I can begrudge Meredith for moving on, but on some level, I think I will always see her as mine. Before I can contemplate anymore the beep of my pager ends my thought. '911 - 3113'. Not bothering to wait for the elevator, I take the stairs, two at a time, with speed faster than an Olympic athlete.


	6. Meredith 2

A/N: Thank you for the reviews! you guys have been wonderful. and this is keeping me writing :) i think im almost ready to go back to my original piece. not too sure how i feel about this one yet...but...enjoy... i dont own greys...unfortuantely... 

**Manhattan 2017 **

"Thank you," I say to the cab driver as I get out, "Keep the change." He nods to me, then opens his door to and goes around back to get our suitcase. I pick up my carryon and sling it over one shoulder and then sling Hannah's over the other. "Come on baby," I say to my sleepy child, as I kneel down, allowing her to crawl into my arms.

"Where are we mommy?" At the hospital sweetie.

"Wanna sleep."

"I know baby, I know. Soon. We'll get inside and get caught up and then Aunt Izzie can bring you to the hotel."

I wave to the cab driver as we make our way to the curb where the suitcase lies. At this point, I'm very thankful I only packed one bag between the two of us. They have stores in New York...and the less I have to carry, the better. That and I didn't plan on staying long. I stop in front of the suitcase and begin to wonder how exactly this is going to work. The suit case has a handle and wheels, so it shouldn't be too tough to manage. I look down at it and almost chuckle. Who am I kidding. There's no way I can manage my bag, her bag, a suitcase, and a child.

"Hannah, baby, wake up." I say, nudging her head with my shoulder. "I have to put you down. Just for a few seconds."

"No!" She says, starting to cry.

"Hannah. You are ten, not three. It's late and mommy is tired too. We need to get in the hospital and then Aunt Izzie will take you to a hotel where you can sleep in a bed..."

Before I can finish, we are interupted by a familiar voice. "Can I help?"

I look up and am face to face with none other than Addison Shepherd, a very pregnant Addison Shepherd, who looks about ready to fall over. I almost feel sorry for her as I remember those days.

"Addison, hi." I say to her. It seems that after ten years, I should have something more to say, but it's far too late and I'm far to tired and worried to even think about Addison Shepherd and the fact that she looks about five months pregnant. "Thank you, but, we can manage. I can't have you carry anything."

"Carry, no. But I can pull this," She says, picking up the handle to the suitcase before I can stop her.

"Thank you." I say to her, as she begins pulling the suitcase in the direction of the hospital.

"How was the trip?" She asks.

"Not too bad." I tell her, thankful that she's making the small talk. "Got delayed coming out of Chicago, so I'm much later than I'd like to be. And I'm pretty sure I'd be sick with worry if I'd had time to think about it. But honestly, I went from surgeon mode to organizational mode to chasing mode. Worried mom mode will kick in as soon as I see her."

"I'm sure it will. I haven't even met him yet, and I'm already feeling it." She says, gesturing to her belly.

"Congratulations." I say to her, in a manner that is almost forced. "When are you due?"

"June. And it's not Derek's," She tells me as if she can sense the question I am fighting the urge to ask.

"Oh..." I say to her. Wondering how to fill the ackward silence. Luckily, she does it for me.

"And who is this?" She asks, gesturing at Hannah, who momentarily had opened her eyes.

"This is Hannah," I tell her.

"Hi Hannah," She says in that painfully nice voice that if you didn't hate, you'd have to love, causing Hannah to bury her head into my neck.

"Sorry, she's a little shy...even more shy at two am."

"That's quite alright."

"My other daughter, she's quite the talker."

"Halle."

"Yes, Halle...did you..."

"Long story. Yes. Ran into Izzie. She had to run out, I believe to call you, didn't want to leave Halle alone, so I sat with her. Beautiful little girl you have there."

"Thank you, Addison." Good job Izzie. Thank you for not leaving her alone, but couldn't you have found better company than her unknown father's ex-wife...wife...whatever she is. It's at that moment I realize I don't have any idea where I'm going.

"Room 3113. I can take you up there. Confusing wing, neuro ICU, confusing hospital if you ask me." Addison told me, as if she could sense my distress.

"Thank you. But I just spoke with Izzie, she should be on her way to meet me right now. Going to hand this one off," I say, nodding toward Hannah. "Addison, how...how is she."

"A little angry that she can't move, but other than that, she seemed to be holding her own. They were taking her for a CT last I checked. Derek can explain the rest when you get in there."

"Derek..."

"Yes. He was on the case before we knew who Halle was."

"Does..."

"Yes, he knows."

"Is he..."

"Confused? Angry? Hurt? Overjoyed? Probably a little of everything."

I just sigh deeply in response. Cause right now, I really don't have one.

"Meredith," says Addison, touching my shoulder with her free hand. "It will be ok..."

I don't get to hear the rest of her response because the elevator in front of us dings and out steps Izzie.

"Mer..." She begins, then stops when she sees who I'm talking to.

"You two should probably get upstairs. I'm going to head home and catch a few hours of sleep before I have to be back."

"Thanks Addison," I call to her retreating figure. She nods her head in acceptance.

"Do I even want to know?" Izzie asks me.

"First of all, take that," I say, nodding at the suitcase Addison had dropped. "Second of all, I'm going to be the new 007 after I kill you."

"What?"

"You leave my child alone...with her? You couldn't have found better company?"

"Addison? She's great with kids. And she and Derek have been divorced for almost five years now."

"Five years, I say softly, five years and...he stayed." Izzie said nothing, just wrapped her free arm around me and squeezed my shoulder.

The elevator beeped, indicating their arrival on the third floor. Suddenly, I'm afraid to move.

"Come on," said Izzie, guiding me out of the elevator. "Halle's this way." As we make our way down the hall we see the code team leaving a room.

"No way," uttered Izzie, and she took off running toward the door.

"Izzie!" I yell, taking off after her, as fast as my two bags and sleeping child would let me.

I make it to 3113 in record time for someone with two bags and a kid, and let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding once I get there and hear the steady beep of Halle's monitor.

"Thank God." I breathe.

"Meredith..." I think my heart stopped when I heard him say my name. You would think that after ten years, I would have gotten over it, that I would have moved on. But you never forget your only love. "Meredith," he says it again, with the same McDreamy tone he had when my mother was first brought into the hospital.

"Izzie," I say, "Take her," nodding toward Hannah. Sleepily, Hannah falls into Izzie's arms and she makes her way toward the door.

"I'll call you." She says before walking out.

"Halle?" I say, my voice thick with raw emotion, as I walk over and run my fingers down her arm.

"She, she was sedated." He tells me, reaching out to take my hand. I pull it back. He drops his arm, defeat crossing his face. "For a CT. CT shows...a brain injury. Pocket of blood, pushing on her brain stem, causing the paralysis. The same injury, caused her heart to stop just before you came in."

"She's stable now?" I manage to say. The girls, they are my world. I don't know what I would do without them. Oh God, please let Halle be ok. Let her pull through this. I pause for a moment, and wipe tears I didn't know were fallling.

"She's stable now, but, we...we need to operate. We need to clear the blockage if she's going to live through the night. The chief here is an excellent brain surgeon. He's prepping the OR now. I...I need you to sign this. Risks and..."

"I know," I tell him. Taking the form and signing it. "It's different when they're yours."

"I know," he said softly.

I haven't cried since...well, maybe since my mother's funeral last november, but even then I had to stay strong. I don't think I've cried, I mean, really cried since I found out I was alone and pregnant. I look up into Derek's glassy eyes, quickly looking back at my baby girl, motionless in a hospital bed and for once, I think it might just be too much. The events of the day, week, month, life, catch up with me before I can stop them, and before I know it, I'm having a full blown breakdown. It's just...it's too much. I start crying for Halle being paralyzed and having a brain injury, for the father of my children who just found out about them, for myself, who I haven't let feel anything in ten years, for the soul mate I lost, now standing in front of me. For all those reasons, I cry until I am shaking, and then cry some more.

I am crying so hard, that I almost don't feel Derek pull me into his arms. I want to pull away, I don't want anyone to touch me right now, least of all him. But, it feels so damn good. To be held. To be the cared for rather than the caregiver for once in ten years. When I start to cry harder, which I didn't even think was possible, he just squeezes me tighter. Once my sobs quiet he scoops me up and carries me to the bed next to Halle's. I'm sure I said something in protest or out of need to talk, but he just put a finger to my lips.

"Hush. We'll talk later. Just relax now."


	7. Derek 2

A/N: The fruits of my lunch hour boredom...enjoy! disclaimer...see previous chapters... 

**Manhattan 2017**

There should be a statute of limitations on love, a certain amount of time before it doesn't affect you anymore. At some point, your heart should stop racing when you see them, you shouldn't get lost in their eyes, and they should stop taking your breath away. After ten years, I should have gotten my heart back from Meredith, but one look, one touch, one word, and I'm lost all over again.

I can't even describe what I'm feeling. Hurt, anger, fear, joy, confusion, all at once to name a few. I have so many questions, I want to know what she's like. I want to know what her first word was and what she likes to do in her spare time. I want to be the father she hasn't had for the first ten years of her life. All I could do as I ran back to Halle's room was pray that she'd be ok so I would have the chance to make up for the ten years of her life I had missed. And Meredith, where has she been all these years? Why did she feel she couldn't tell me? Is she seeing someone? Is she married, I didn't notice a ring but, she has a second child, who came from somewhere. Is she happy? Are they happy? Like Addison, I want nothing more than for her to be happy, but unlike Addison, I want it to be me that is making her happy.

But then, I saw her. She appeared in the doorway, holding a second child, looking motherly and worried and exhausted and heartbroken and gorgeous all at the same time. All the anger melted away. I have to fix this. I already lost her once...I'll be damned if I allow myself to lose her again. We need to talk. There are so many things we need to work out, but this was not the time. Years ago, I would have thought it was. I wouldn't have wasted another second before saying something, anything to let her know how I felt. Ten years ago, I might have gone in with guns blazing, demanding to know about my daughter and the reason she was kept from me. But that was then, and this is now. Now was different. If the years had taught me anything, it was patience. There would be time for talk later, time for questions to be answered and offers to be made. Right now it was time for her, for her and our daughter. We needed to get through Halle's surgery first, the rest...the rest would fall into place later.

It was another hour before everything was set for Halle's surgery. She probably had another half hour before the scrub nurse took her up to prep. I paused in the doorway and looked at my two girls, both sleeping peacefully. I crossed the room and sat on the edge of Mer's bed. As much as I didn't want to wake her, I knew she'd never forgive me if she slept through Halle's surgery.

"Mer..." I say gently, earning myself no response. "Mer," I say again, this time running a nervous hand through her soft blonde hair. I was hesitant to touch her, because really, I don't know where we stand, and this isn't the time or place to figure that out.

"wha...where..." she begins to utter as her soft eyes open.

"Hey," I say, "Welcome back."

"Derek...what. I..."

"Halle is all set. They should be taking her up soon. You have about a half hour if you want to talk to her."

"I...we...she...I'm so sorry." She says, and I can tell she's holding in more tears.

"I know. We need to talk. And we will. But right now," I say, gesturing to the bed next to hers, "She needs you. Be there for her. I'll be here for you when it's over."

"I...thank you." She says, walking over to Halle's bed. "Halle, baby," she begins in a shaky voice, "I...I don't know if you can hear me...but, I'm...I'm here sweetie."

I squeeze Meredith's shoulder and make my way out the door, intending to give her some time alone with Halle. But her voice stops me.

"Wait." I stop in my tracks and slowly turn around. "Stay. She...she needs you too. I...I need you."

I pause for a second, allowing her words to sink in, and then make my way back around the bed and stand next to her. You'd think that after ten years, they wouldn't mean so much. That just standing there, with her, with them, wouldn't have such a drastic effect, but after ten years, it's all still there, my love, my friendship, my soulmate. I look down at her as she looks up at me, and for the first time in years, tear filled eyes meet. And, despite all the issues we have to work out, all the questions we need to answer, I drape my arm over her shoulders and allow her to lean into me. Silently, I thank God she doesn't pull away.

"I need you too," I tell her, placing a chaste kiss to the top of her head.


	8. Meredith 3

A/N: thank you for the reviews! not 100 sure how i feel about this one. not too bad...but i dont know. the italicized words are flashbacks. i was going to do a whole chapter set in 2005 when Meredith would have found out she was pregnant, but decided to do it this way instead and hopefully minimize confusion. this would have been up sooner, but i spent my lunch hour updating my livejournal...life has just been way too crazy for my taste lately. hopefully i will have another update up by this weekend, but its my birthday weekend and i think this thing might have done the trick and i just might be over my writers block, so im attempting to work on my original piece. but dont worry..i have every intention of continuing this...maybe just not as frequently. anyway, without futher adiou...

disclaimer: still dont own anything...

Manhattan 2017

I can't remember a time when I was this nervous. Well, maybe I can. The day that stick turned pink was pretty nerve-wracking...

_"Mer? Mer are you in there? Are you still alive?" _

_With fear, I look down at my shaking hands for a second time. Crap! Seriously...crap, that's all I can think about as I stare at the pink line on the test. What have I gotten myself into this time? And better yet, how am I going to get myself out of it? _

_"Meredith! Open the door or we are all going to be late. And I will be holding you personally responsible when Bailey kills us both." _

_Damn it. Izzie. Until now, the beating of my heart drowned out the sound of the beating on the door. Until she mentioned Bailey. Until the mention of Bailey reminded me of the hospital. And the hospital of him. And well...he... _

_"Meredith? Are you ok?" more banging, "Mer? Are you sick again?" Izzie asked, a little softer this time. _

_"Door's open, Iz." _

_"Meredith...you mean you have been in here, listening to me pound on the door...and it's been open the whole time? Why would you not say anything?" _

_I plan to let her finish her tirade before I even look up. However, she stops once she realizes I haven't said a word. _

_I feel her eyes cast down on my shaking form, curled against the bathtub. I can't seem to find the words, nor do I trust my voice to say them, so I just hold the test out in her line of vision. _

_"Oh, Mer," She says, crouching down next to me and taking me in her arms and letting me cry. Christina may be my person, but right there, at that moment, I'm glad it's Izzie who's with me. _

_Yep, finding out you're not only a dirty mistress, but a pregnant dirty mistress, that ranks pretty high on the list of things that are nerve-wracking. _

_Finding out that it was twins. There's another one that will go down in the history of nervous days I'll never forget. _

_"Yang! Just what do you think you're doing? Is this patient on the board? Do they even have a chart?" _

_"Crap!" _

_"Double crap." said Christina, except at that time, I had yet to find out it was my ultrasound that she was referring to and not Bailey barging in and find us. _

_"Grey...something you'd like to tell me?" _

_"umm...isn't it obvious?" _

_I will never forget how she just looked at me and shook her head. _

_"Yang! Out!" _

_"But...but..." _

_"Did I stutter? Out! Go find an actual patient to fix." _

_Bailey's attention quickly turned back to me, her eyes, a little softer, her demeanor, a little nicer. _

_"Why didn't you say something?" She asked. "I can't believe you were able to keep this quiet for...five months?" she questioned. _

_"Three..." _

_"What..." she said, her voice trailing off as she began to move the ultrasound against my stomach again. _

_"Dr. Bailey...what is it? Is...is the baby ok?" _

_"There's a heartbeat..." I relaxed and smiled. And a heartbeat." _

_"We covered that..." _

_"No...you're not hearing me." _

_"You mean..." _

_"Yes, Grey, there's two heartbeats. Meaning two babies." _

_"Double crap." _

I almost chuckle at the memory of the day they were born…and how I almost broke George's hand. It all seems surreal now, prom…the pregnancy…the last ten years…and now Derek being back. I guess deep down I always knew this would happen sooner or later. I just hoped that it would be later. Or never. Never works just as well, no, never works better.

I turn to the back of the bathroom door where a black dress hangs. Where and when Izzie had found it was beyond me. This is a bad idea, I tell myself, looking at the dress. It's just dinner, I remind myself, attempting to calm my nerves. Just dinner, ha, who was I kidding. First of all, it was Derek, things with him were never just anything. Second of all, this was the first time they would have to really talk since he had found out about Halle, I don't even know if he knows about Hannah yet. Yes, this, was a definite bad idea.

I dropped the towel and picked up the underwear I had set on the toilet seat. Small black panties, just like…so not going there right now, or ever again if I can help it. As I slid them on, my hand paused to rest on my abdomen, slightly above my scar. Halle came to mind as I ran a single finger over the scar. To this day, I can't believe how self-conscious I am of that scar, when it marks the most important thing in my life.

A knock on the door jars me from my thoughts. Crap! He's early…no…I'm late. Crap. No time for anything. I throw the black dress over my head as I yell, "Just a minute," to who ever is at the door. Who ever, yeah, right, as if it's even a question.

I take one last glance in the mirror, grimacing in horror at the reflection staring back. Worry and stress do not bode well for looking good, then again, neither does wet hair and no make-up. But, it's not a date, right?

I slip into a pair of shoes waiting by the door, also courtesy of Izzie and finally swing the door open.

And…and just when I thought I had everything under control and I was going to be fine, there he is. And still, after all this time, he still takes my breath away.

"Ms. Grey," He says, giving me what I used to know as our smile, his McDreamy look. Now I know that smile as Halle's, 'I know you're gonna yell, but maybe you'll go easier on me if I look cute.'

I smile back, earning a second smile in return. This time, I see Hannah's dimples. It amazes me, that for ten years, all I've seen is him in them and now, for ten seconds, all I can see is them in him.

I love you! I want to scream. I want you. I want to love you everyday for the rest of my life. I want you to meet our kids. I want you to come back with us, to be a father to them, to…to be mine. I want you to be my fairy tale. But, I can't. Maybe ten years ago, I would have. But, I have different priorities now and I can't loose sight of that.

"These are for you," he says, handing me roses. Pink roses. I must have looked at him strangely because he jumped to explaining himself. "Well, red…red means love…and…well…white…white is friendship….and I…Mer….I don't know where we stand, so…so I got the pink."

"They're beautiful," I tell him.

"So are you." He says, running a hand down my cheek. Oh God, I want you. Right now. That's all I can think. Bad…bad….says the little angel on my right shoulder. Do it…do it…says the devil on the left.

"Let me…get my bag…" I say, voice trailing off. He remains in the doorway and I step back towards the bed where my purse lies. I grab it, and return to the door.

"Shall we, Dr. Shepherd?"

"Are we really going to play this game all night?" He asks me with obvious tension, pushing the button for the elevator.

"That depends entirely on you," I respond smugly, stepping into the elevator. Oh man…I…he…we…we're in the elevator. Alone. Together. And God, he's…he's still McDreamy…after all these years.

I turn and look at him and our eyes meet. I smile up and he puts a hand in the small of my back. My resolve crumbling, I lean into him, and look up again. Look away, I tell myself. But, like most of my life, my heart just won't listen to my brain, just like it didn't listen a few seconds later when one of my hands slipped behind his head, pulling him down to me. Our lips meet slowly at first, but then, ten years of passion catch up with us and before I know it, my bag is on the floor and he has me pushed up against the elevator wall.

Whoa. Whoa. "Derek…" I say, slowly pulling away, "We…we can't. Not yet. We…"

"Need to talk. I know. It's just…."

"I know. I know." I tell him. "Derek?"

"Yes?"

"Why aren't we moving?"

"Ummm….that's a good question." He replied, hitting the alarm bell, which of course, ceased to function.

Right, of course. The time I pick to talk to the father of my children, we get stuck in an elevator. Only me. And who said God didn't have a sense of humor.


	9. Derek 3

A/N: Derek's POV. Again, italicized words are flashbacks. Sorry it took so long to post...hopefully the long chapter makes up for it.

**Manhattan 2017 **

Forty two minutes. That's how long it has been since we realized we were stuck in here. Forty minutes, that's how long its been since we said a word to eachother. You would think that after ten years and a kid, we'd be able to talk to eachother, like normal adults. I guess it's about time I realized that Meredith and I, well, we're never going to be normal. Normal people don't have affairs and then leave and then have babies and then find each other ten years later. Normal people don't have the urge to kiss the minute they step into an elevator. Normal people don't kiss after ten years and then spend forty minutes in separate corners not speaking.

She's beautiful. That's really the only thing I can think of right now. The fact that we're stuck in an elevator and missing dinner, not issues. After ten years, I'll settle for being in her presence, no matter where that is. If it's in Halle's room, so be it. If it's dinner, even better. And if God wills us to be stuck in an elevator, then God wills us to be stuck in an elevator. She's here, and really, that's all that matters. That, and Halle's ok. And, right now, it looks like that's the case.

_"Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Grey," said Chief Johnson, extending his hand. _

_Meredith and I both rose from our seats in the surgical waiting room. She reaches down for my hand, and I give it to her. I can tell by the way the Chief greets us that Halle has pulled through, but Meredith doesn't know him. She hasn't performed countless surgeries with him and watched him, many times give the news to the family. _

_"Chief," I say, extending my hand. Mer doesn't say anything, just lets go of my hand long enough to shake his. _

_"How...how is she?" She asks, attempting to hide the worry in her voice. Her tiny hand squeezes mine as she awaits his reply. _

_"Halle has pulled through wonderfully. We cleared the blockage and right now it looks as though she will make a full recovery. The next few hours will be critical, as we will need to evaluate the nerve endings and see what range of motion she has in her legs, but, barring any major complications, Halle will be fine." _

_"Thank you," I tell him, my voice thick with emotion. _

_"Can I...we, see her?" I hear Meredith ask. _

_"Of course. She's on her way to recovery right now, you can head up and meet her there." _

_The relief I felt at that point was indescribable. This must be what it's like, to be a parent. _

_"You go," I tell Mer. "I'll meet you up there in a few minutes. There's one thing I need to do." _

_I walk her to the elevator and see her off before heading back to my office to make a phone call I should have made ten years ago. _

Meredith's ringing cell phone brings me back to reality. I look back at her and watch her dig it out of her bag and look at the caller id. After a quick glance, she lets out a breath I could tell she'd been holding. Watching relief flood her face, I'm sure it's not the hospital.

"Hello?" She answered. "Yes, we're still in here. Where exactly did you think we would go? No, sorry, I understand you're working as fast as you can. At least an hour! I guess it will have to do...not like I have a child in the hospital or anything."

"We have another hour...at least," She tells me, putting the phone back. I just shrug. "He asked me if we were still in here...pray tell where exactly were we going to go? And how were we going to get there? Seriously..."

I look at her and smile.

"What?"

I shug a second time.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Cause you're you. You haven't changed a bit."

"I'm a single parent, with two kids. I've changed a lot."

She does have a point. And yes, she has changed. She's grown up. I bet she can't remember the last time she went to Joe's and picked up a guy. I bet she can remember the last time she braided hair or read a bed time story. God, she's amazing. I just...I can't get enough of watching her. Whether it's watching her fuss over Halle, who just rolls her eyes, or interact with Hannah, who I've yet to say two words to. Watching her earlier today with the girls in recovery, I can't even put a word on the feeling. Love, I guess, but it seems so much stronger.

_When everything is taken care of, I get into an elevator and head up to Halle's room. I reach down to push the button, but see that it has already been pushed. I turn to see my companions, and am face to face with none other than Izzie Stevens. Izzie Stevens and Meredith's other daughter. Who at this moment is hiding behind Izzie. I look at her and nod, she says nothing, but nods back. _

_Once we arrive at Halle's room, I linger in the doorway. I want to be there, but I'm not sure if it's my place, not yet anyway. Meredith is standing next to Halle's bed, gently rubbing her hand. _

_"Mommy!" yells Meredith's second child, running over to her and throwing her arms around her. _

_"Hannah, shhh...We have to be quiet, Halle's resting." She tells her daughter, bending down to hug her. _

_"You didn't come home last night." She tells Meredith, crossing her arms over her chest. "You said you would." She says, pouting. _

_I almost chuckle when I notice her pout. I'd swear I was looking a young Meredith. The resemblence between them, uncanny. _

_"Oh sweetie, I know. But, I had to stay with Halle, she had to have surgery. But did you and Aunt Izzie have fun?" Meredith asks Hannah, while picking her up and setting her on the second bed. _

_I watch the smile cross the little girl's face. _

_"Yeah. She made cupcakes," Hannah answered, her smile getting bigger and her dimples showing. Dimples that I would recognize anywhere, because they were the same dimples I couldn't hide in my junior high yearbook photos. Could she...could they...no... _

_Meredith looked at Izzie inquizitively, "Cupcakes? In the hotel room?" _

_"I have my ways," she responded, shrugging her shoulders. _

_I do chuckle at this. I can only imagine what she must have contrived to keep this girl occupied all morning. It's then that they even remember I'm in the room. _

_"Who's that?" Hannah asks, reaching for Meredith at the realization that there is a stranger in the room. _

_"That," said Meredith, "Is mommy's friend Derek," Hannah seemed to relax a little bit at that, but still wouldn't let go of her mother. _

_"You can say hi. He's not going to hurt you." Hannah shook her head and burried her face in to Mer's shoulder. _

_"She's really shy." Izzie said to me, the only words she had said past hello the previous night. _

_"I gather," I responded. "I just wanted to make sure everything was ok. Can you page me when she wakes up?" I ask. _

_Izzie looks doubtful, but Meredith answers of course. _

I pause for a second, this is my opportunity. We need to talk, we were planning to talk, and well, damnit, we are going to talk. But how on earth do you start this conversation? So, umm...tell me about the child you've been keeping from me for ten years? Yeah, that won't send her away screaming.

"You want to talk." My thoughts are interrupted once again, this time by Meredith's voice. I look at her. "You want to talk," she says again, "I can see it in your eyes."

I nod, "I don't even know where to begin."

"Neither do I. I...I don't even know what to say...or how to say it." She said, her voice rough with emotion and her eyes full of tears threatening to fall. "I'm sorry." She says, and then the flood gates open. "I'm sorry it happened, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I'm sorry..." was all I could make out before her words became too garbled to understand.

"Come here," I say to her softly, crossing the elevator and taking her in my arms. I am very surprised when she lets me. Soon, her sobs subside, and we find ourselves sitting on the floor of the elevator, leaning against a wall and eachother.

"How...how are you ok with this? How can you not hate me? I...I had your children. And I didn't tell you..."

"I'm not. I'm not ok with this. But, what's done is done. That's all in the past, and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't go back and pick you, I can't undo the fact that I left, because if I could, trust me, I would. And Mer," I say, looking into her glassy eyes, "I could never hate you." I pause for a second, "Did you just say children?"

Meredith slowly nodded her head and reached into her bag, pulling out a photo. "This," She said, holding up a photo of herself and two little girls, "is Halle," pointing to a girl with my hair and my eyes, "and this," she said, "is Hannah," pointing to the girl on the other side of her, to a girl who could have been a younger version of Meredith. "This was at the zoo last year, they're nine. Halle liked the monkeys. I'd swear she was one in a former life. Hannah said the zoo smelled and that she wanted to go home. But the ice cream made them smile."

"They're both..." I begin, taking the picture from her shaking hands, "They're...they're both mine," I say, as a tear I didn't know I was crying falls on to the photo.

"Yes," She answered, with tears flowing down her cheeks too.

"I...I...I want to know them. I want to know what they like to eat and what they like to do and what makes them mad and what makes them happy. I want to spend the rest of their lives making up for the ten years I missed." I pause for a second and look back at Meredith. "Can...can I get to know them."

"God yes, I..I hoped you would want to."

"I wouldn't have it any other way. Will...will you tell me about them?"

"Of course," she answered. "What do you want to know?"

"Anything...everything...do they know about me?"

"Yes. I didn't want to keep you from them. Or them from you. But...but I didn't know how to tell you. You...you left. With Addison. And then I found out, and then I found out it was twins. And, I was going to tell you...but then one day became the next and so on and so forth and then they were born and there were complications and then they were home...and...and life just never slowed down..before I knew it, they were ten years old, not ten months."

I put my arm around her and squeezed her to me. "It's ok, well, no it's not, but, we'll get there. Tell me about the day they were born..and complications," I looked at her, with eyes a mixture of question and worry.

"February 14th, 2007. Valentine's Day babies. And they've been my Valentine's ever since. Hannah was fine. Nice and easy, as I would soon learn was the norm with her. She kicked a lot, but as far as labor, quick and I'd say painless, but I'm pretty sure George would disagree with me on that one. Halle, well, she was my quiet one. Rarely kicked, rarely rolled over. She however, was not so easy. C-section and then, I'm not really sure. I know there was a lot of blood." She paused at this, and picked up my free hand with hers.

I looked at her, and watched the look on her face change. It was the same look she had when she first told me about her mother. "It's ok," I reassure her. "I know it seems like everything has changed, but, between us, Mer, I...I still feel it, and I always will. Please, continue, I'm not going anywhere."

She took a deep breath and then went on, "Apparently I was hemoraging pretty badly. When...when I woke up," at this point she had started to cry again, and I thought about telling her it was ok, she didn't need to continue, but deep down, I knew it was important for her to do so.

"When I woke up, they told me that this was it. I wouldn't be able to do that again." And that was when she lost it.

"Oh Mer," I say softly as I pull her closer to me. I inhale the lavender scent of her hair as I kiss the top of her head.

Once she had control of herself, she looked up at me. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be..."

"So...that's that. The day they were born." She said, pulling two more photos out of her bag. "This," she said, "Is Halle and her best friend William. Soccer is her second favorite sport." I take the picture from her hand and look at it more closely.

"Is that..."

"Yes, Dr. Bailey's son. Nice kid. I keep telling Halle she's going to marry him. She sticks her tongue out at me."

"That's my girl." I respond. "What is she like?"

"She...she's you. She's your eyes and your hair and your sarcasm. She loves gymnastics and The Clash. She's loud and boisterous and given the chance, will talk your ear off. She's rough and tumble and I'm pretty sure she has fallen out of every tree near the house. She likes pizza and burgers and Izzie's cupcakes. Her favorite colors are black and red and yellow and brown depending on when you ask her. Shes indecisive and she laughs when I try to cook and crawls into bed with me when it storms. She looks like you and talks like you and for ten years, she was my living reminder of the best thing I never had."

I squeeze her hand, "And Hannah?" I ask. Still reeling from the fact that I have two daughters, not just one.

She showed me the other photo, this one of a little blonde girl sitting on a piano bench. "This, is Hannah," she tells me, handing me the picture. "Hannah Grace Shepherd." I take it, and I can't get over how much she looks like Meredith. Everything but the dimples, those, those she got from me.

"She's...she's shy and she's quiet and she'll run away before you can introduce yourself, but once you get to know her, she's quite the comedian. She's bossy but sweet and usually nice. She loves to watch Izzie cook, she likes coffee ice cream and dressing up like a princess. Her favorite color is pink and she'd just assume be shot rather than be forced to play outside. She looks like me and maybe she would be me had I not been raised by my mother, except she has your dimples. The ones that lit up whenever you smiled, those same ones I could never get enough of."

As soon as she finished that sentance, the elevator lights flickered and we started moving.

"Oh my God, Derek, we're..."

"Moving. We missed dinner, but we'll make it to the hospital before visiting hours are over."

She smiles at me, "Good. And we can tell them, both, together. Izzie told me Halle already knows, but, we should sit down with them."

"She knows?"

"Picture. They've both seen it. Halle more times than Hannah. Like I said, I didn't want to keep you from them."

I just nod my head and help her up. Wow...sometimes...sometimes life can really take your breath away.


	10. Halle 3

A/N: Sorry for the delay...work has been nuts, so I haven't been able

to write on my lunch break. And my birthday was this past weekend, so

I didn't have time to update then either. And now I'm trying to get

or get over whatever it is I'm fighting off, so yeah, lots going on

lately.

Back to the story, there has been some elapsed time. Figure a few

days between Halle's surgery and the elevator chapter. This one

directly follows the elevator chapter. Anyway, without further

adiou...

**Manhattan 2017**

"Something's up." I say, looking at Izzie and Hannah. "They should

have been here by now."

"They went to dinner, sweetie," says Izzie, "Sometimes dinner takes time."

"Sometimes...maybe she just doesn't like us anymore." Volunteered

Hannah, rolling her eyes.

"Hannah!" Exclaimed Izzie.

"Or maybe they like each other too much?" I added.

"Halle!" Izzie exclaimed a second time.

Hannah and I just looked at each other and giggled. We don't always

get along, and we rarely ever like the same things, but, but we always

have each other. We have shared secrets and special moments and inside

jokes and for ten years, we've gotten each other through our so called

life.

"You two are something else..." Izzie tells us, shaking her head.

"They should have been here by now. Something's up." I say again,

unaware how big of a something was about to occur.

"Maybe...maybe I don't know...I'm all out of ideas..." Hannah says.

"Maybe they're figuring out how to tell us that he's our long lost father."

"That could be. But really, it's not that hard...girls, this is your

father," Hannah begins, doing her best mom impression, before we burst

out laughing.

I don't notice Aunt Izzie's expression until our fit of giggles has subsided.

"What?" I ask her as she picks her jaw up off the floor. "How dumb do

you think we are? He has my eyes...and my hair..."

"And my dimples. Stupid dimples..." Hannah added.

"I personally think dimples are cool," said a voice from the doorway.

All three of us freeze when we hear the voice.

"Mom!" I shout as I see her move around him in the doorway.

"Hi baby girl," she says, moving closer to me. "How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts, but I guess that's what happens when you land on your

head...and then have it cut open."

"Yep, sounds about right," she tells me, bending over to look at my head.

"They let me sit up today," I tell her, a smile on my face.

"Follow my finger with your eyes."

"Mo-om..." I say, obeying, "Surgeon parents..." I say, shaking my head.

"Halle!" she says in her stern,

I'm-a-mother-so-do-as-I-say-but-really-I-couldn't-be-mad-if-I-tried

voice. "Don't shake your head like that. Your brain..."

"Is still healing," I finish for her.

"Smartass."

"Language." Hannah pipes up. I smile and bite my lip to keep from cracking up.

"And you," starts mom, turning to Hannah, who is sitting in a chair

next to Izzie. "How are you doing? Having fun keeping your sister

occupied."

"Yeah mom. But why do you get to swear? And you tell us we can't?"

"Because," mom answered, picking Hannah up and setting her on the bed

with me. "I'm the mom, and that's why,"she said, giving us the mom

smirk. "Izzie," she said, turning to Aunt Izzie, who remained in the

chair next to my bed, still wearing a somewhat shocked look on her

face. "Can you give us a few minutes?"

"You're kicking Izzie out?" I say. "See," I say to Hannah,"something big."

She nodded and we both looked to the door as Izzie left, but not

before she glanced very threateningly at Dr. Shepherd.

"I'm not kicking her out," mom responded, her attention focused back

on us. "Dr. Shepherd, Derek, and I...we have something to tell you."

Dr. Shepherd stepped into the room and took mom's hand at the mention

of his name.

I felt Hannah take mine. Why have I been deemed the brave twin? I'm

the one who can't get out of the hospital bed. I take Hannah's hand

and squeeze it.

"See, something big..." I tell her again.

"Ok girls," mom began, "This isn't how I had imagined this would go

down. I thought it would be...I'm not sure..."

"Mer.." Dr. Shepherd stepped in, "you're rambling."

"Ahh...yeah. Well, here goes nothing, Hannah, Halle," She said,

moving away from Dr. Shepherd and taking each of our free hands.

"I've told you about your father and..."

Both Hannah and I know what's coming next, but even though we're

young, we know mom needs to get through this. We watch Dr. Shepherd

step in behind her and place a hand in the small of her back.

"Wow, this is more difficult than I thought it would be." She said,

squeezing our hands, I squeezed back, and could tell from her hand

that Hannah did the same.

"Girls," she started for the fouth time, this time, there were tears

in her eyes. "Dr. Shepherd, he's...he...he's your father." She got

the words out and pulled both Hannah and I to her. I sighed against

her. So much was answered, where my eyes came from, and my hair, and

we had a dad, I couldn't be happier.

After a few seconds, I picked my head up and realized that there was

another person in the room who was not part of our group hug. I

pulled back from mom and reached out my hand, which he took and

stepped closer to us. As he did, I noticed his eyes, identical to

mine and also full of unshead tears.

"We...we have a dad." I say, partly to Hannah, partly just to make it

seem real to myself.

"Yeah baby, you do." Responed mom.

"What...what do we call him?" Hannah asked quietly. Her question

surprised me, she's usually very quiet, especially around new people.

But Dr. Shepherd had been around for the past few days, so I guess she

had warmed up to him.

"You can call me whatever you want." He answered.

"I can call you dad?"

"Of course you can, I'd...I'd be thrilled if you wanted to call me

dad." He answered, tears now falling from his blue eyes.

Hannah bit her bottom lip nervously as she looked at him.

"But," he said, picking up her hand, "you can call me Derek if you'd

like, if that would be easier for you." Hannah nodded her head while

continuing to bite her lip.

"Are...are we going to get to see you?" I asked him. "More than just now?"

"Yes." He said, nodding his head, tears still flowing.

"Good. I always wanted a dad."

"Now you have one." He responded, smiling as he took my hand in his free one.

"Are you going to come home with us?" I asked him.

"Yes." He answered confidently. "I worked out the details this morning."

I heard my mom gasp on the other side of me.

"Sorry," he said to her, "I didn't tell you before. I...I talked to

Richard right after Halle's surgery. I...I have a job in Seattle..."

he said, his voice trailing off.

"I...I..." mom began to stutter. She squeezed our hands and

apologized and ran out the door. Leaving two confused children and

one confused surgeon in her wake.

The three of just sat in silence for a few minutes, looking at one

another. Until I spoke first, "I think this is the part where you're

suposed to go after her." I tell him.

"Yeah," added Hannah, "And ride off into the sunset on a white horse."

"And have a house with white picket fences..." I continue.

"Ok...ok...I get it." dad said. "I'm going...are you guys going to..."

"We'll be fine." Hannah answered, "We're ten, not three."

Dad squeezed my hand and ruffled Hannah's hair before taking off after

mom, the one true love of his life.

"Told you," I said, "Something was up."


	11. Izzie 2

A/N: First off, thank you so much for your reviews. You're all far too kind. But, thank you, they keep me going and make this that much more enjoyable.

Ok, so I'm not sure how I feel about this one. I just feel like the story needed it.

Disclaimer: still don't own anything….sadly….

**Manhattan 2017**

I walk out of Halle's room at Meredith's request, but against my will. I know she and McDreamy have to talk to the girls, they should have done that long ago, but better late than never I suppose. Part of me is afraid though, actually, a lot of me is afraid. Afraid for Mer and the fact that she could get hurt again, afraid for Derek and Mer's reaction to him, mostly afraid for my nieces, innocent bystanders to however this situation plays out.

I wander aimlessly down the hall, not really sure where I'm heading. I don't want to stay too close, and be found eavesdropping, but God knows I want to…At the same time, I'm afraid to wander too far, incase I'm needed. I make it to the end of the hall before I hear a door close, somewhat forcefully. That didn't take long I say to myself as I turn around to see who's fleeing.

I meet a tearful Meredith halfway between Halle's room and the end of the hall.

"Mer?" I say, pulling her into a hug, "what happened?"

At first, she's too upset to tell me, so I just hold her as her body is racked with sobs, stroking her hair. Soon, her tears subside and her breathing returns to normal.

"Mer?" I say, my voice laced with question and worry.

"He…He wants to come to Seattle. He already has a job there. He wants to come back, to Seattle, and…and play happy family. Like the last ten years didn't happen. Like he didn't leave with Addison. Like he didn't leave me when I was pregnant. He wants to go on like nothings changed! Like he never hurt me. Like…"

"Seriously, Mer," I say, interrupting her rant, "listen to yourself." She responded with a blank stare. "You finally have the chance to have what you've always wanted. Yet, you sit here, freaking out, rather than relishing in what might be the best thing that ever happened to you."

"But he…." Her voice trailed off.

"I know. He hurt you. I get that. I was there, I lived it too if you remember. I was there when he left, when you were broken, alone, and pregnant. I was there when you brought the girls into this world, alone and scared. Mer, I'm still there, I'm there when you're awake at night crying and you think we can't hear you, I'm there when your daughter is crying because she doesn't know who she looks like and where her hair came from. I know all the bad Mer, trust me because I lived it right along with you. But I also know the good. I know how happy you both were when you were together. I know that despite the hardships, you wouldn't change the fact that he gave you the girls. And, most of all, I know that you still love him, and that he loves you. I see the way you still look at each other, even after all these years. So please, for the love of God, and for all of our sanity, give the man a chance."

"But the girls…" she began and then paused, "Halle cries?"

"Sometimes. She's a confused little girl. I try to comfort her, but, she needs more. She needs her father, and so does Hannah. And, you can give them that chance. You don't want them to grow up without a father. " I pause for a second, to make sure she's following me. I know her father is a tough subject, but I'm not sure how else to make this real for her.

"Derek wants to be part of their lives. He had every reason to run in the other direction, but he wants nothing more than to be a part of your lives again. The girls need this, and whether or not you want to admit it yet, you need it too. Let him in Mer, I know you were hurt, I know it's hard, I know you're scared, but please try to let him in. If not for you, for the girls."

"Please Mer," said a voice from behind us, "Let me in. "

I turn my head and see a tearful Derek standing behind me.

"I…I want to, I…I just…" Meredith began tearfully.

"I'm going to let you guys talk," I tell them. "I'll be in there," I say, gesturing to Halle's room, "with your girls." I add the last part, hoping to remind them both of what's really important in this situation.


	12. Derek 4

A/N: definitely wasnt planning on writing tonite, but surprise, i did. not sure how i feel about this one...if i got the emotions right, but, i tried. let me know. hopefully ill have another one up this weekend, monday at the latest.

thank you for reading and for all the lovely reviews.

still dont own anything...

**Manhattan 2017**

"Come on," I say to her, "let's go somewhere and talk." She just nods her head. I put my hand in the small of her back and lead her into an empty oncall room. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding when she doesn't pull away.

She doesn't say a word as we cross the threshold, just sits on the lower bunk and crosses her hands in her lap. After locking the door, I walk over and sit down on the opposite side of the bed.

"I...I..." I stutter, not knowing where to begin, or even how to begin. I want to do this. I want to go back to Seattle. I want to be a father to my girls. I want to be with Meredith, but, I don't want to scare her away.

"It's fine." She says, "I'm fine."

"You're not fine." I tell her, "Talk to me, Mer. Let me in."

"I...I want to. I...I...I'm just not sure I can." She says, tears beginning to flow again. "You hurt me, more times than I can count..."

"I know. And...and I don't know what to say other than..."

"Don't...just...just let me finish. Please." She said, looking at me with pleading eyes. I just nodded my head in response, urging her to continue. "And then you left. And I was alone. Alone and pregnant and scared. God, I was so scared." She said, tears falling at a faster rate now. It was taking everything I had in me not to pull her into a hug and never let go. I moved my hand to the center of the bed, letting her know I was there, but not forcing her to take it.

"But, I figured it out. I grew up and I dealt and I became what I needed to become. I have two beautiful girls, and I wouldn't change that for the world. I'm torn. Part of me wants to fall into your arms and never let go. Wants to take you hear and now on this bed, and forget everything that happened between us and just start new. But another part of me wants to hit you. Hit you and then leave. Leave you like you left us. But, there's more than just me in the picture now. Those two girls, they deserve a father. You should have told me about Addison, but you didn't. We shouldn't have been together at prom, but we were. I...I should have tried to find you. But, I didn't. But that's also in the past. And that's a distant past at this point. We've both been hurt, we've both suffered. And...and I want that to stop. I want you to be part of the girl's lives. I..."

She stopped at that point and ran her hand over mine. I flipped my hand palm up and took hers.

"It's ok." I told her, you can tell me.

"I...I want you to be part of my life again too. I...I know we have a lot to get through and it won't be easy, but I'm willing to try. If...if you...do you..."

"I would want nothing more." I told her, squeezing her hand. "We can take this as slow as you want to." I tell her, reaching out and running a hand through her soft hair. She closes her eyes and smiles, letting out a small breath in response. It's moments like these that make my heart melt.

"So...you're moving to Seattle?" She asks me.

"I'm moving to Seattle. Had Richard fax me a few realtor's brochures this morning."

"Wow. It's...it's really happening."

"Yes, Meredith Grey, it really is happening. The father of you children is back and he's here for good. He's here for them and if you let him, he'll be there for you too. It's all here, if you want it, white picket fences and all."

She squeezes my hand, and I squeeze back as we both move closer to each other, meeting in the middle of the bed. The sides of our hips hit first, but only a fraction of a second before our lips find each other for the second time in ten years.

The kiss is gentle at first, but soon progresses as years of passion unleash. I feel her hands on the sides of my face, pulling me closer. I slide my hands through her hair, down her face, her shoulders, her sides, and finally resting them on her hips. God, it's been too long since I've done this.

I can feel her push me backwards on to the bed and climb on top of me. Her hands make their way down my face to my chest as I run my hands around her waist to her back, pulling her into me. God, this is as good as I remember it. Her hands begin to move lower and I feel them on the buckle of my pants. I sigh and squeeze her to me tightly, looking up at the ceiling. Or rather, the bottom of the top bunk. Hospital. On call room.

"Mer." I say to her, grabbing her hands. "Mer," I say again as she looks at me with a shocked expression and hurriedly tries to get up. "Don't," I say to her, pulling her back down. "Slow, remember." She looks slightly disapointed, but lies back down. "How long has it been?"

"What?" She asks me, shocked.

"How long has it been?"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Years. I mean...there were a few...but they...they..."

"Weren't you. I know." I tell her, squeezing her again, the more I squeeze her, the more I am able to remind myself that she's real. That this is real. "I feel the same way. There were a few. Not many...but, none of them measured up. Not even close. And, I don't want to mess this up this time. I want it to be special, I want more for you than an on call room at Manhattan General. You are perfect, so you deserve perfect. You deserve bubble bath and flower petals and candles and perfection." I tell her, kissing her hand.

"You're amazing. What...what did I do to deserve this. I...I don't need perfect, I just need you. Because you, you are my perfection."

"I need you too. I was miserable without you."

"I gave up. I'm pretty sure Izzie and Christina were ready to send me to a convent. The few that were...just werent..and really, single mom with two ten year olds. Not the biggest turn on."

I lift her chin after that remark. "Mer. Seriously, I don't think I could ever find you more of a turn on than I do now. Watching you with them...it's like...it takes my breath away."

"Thank you." She said and burried her face into my chest. "I..." she sighed. "I don't even know what to say."

I respond with a light kiss to her lips.

"Can we...will you...will you just hold me...just for a little while. I think Izzie can handle the girls for a while and I just need to...to be with you."

I squeeze her again and kiss the top of her head. "We can do whatever you want to do." I tell her.


	13. Hannah

A/N: Wow...its been a few days. But, I know where I'm taking this...and I thought of a way to bring Addison back...and a few other things...hehehe...I'm having way too much fun with this. Anyway, hopefully I'll have a few more up this week, but I'm leaving town on Wednesday and I'm not sure what the internet situation is going to be...so there might not be anything until after the 30th when I get back. Hopefullly not, but we'll see. I wish I didn't have to go, but, that's being an adult...dealing with stuff you could ignore when you were a kid... Anyway...I've had this in my head all day and am just sitting down to write it. I'm jumping back to the present time, 2032. And it's from Hannah's POV. I feel like she needs a little more background. Sorry if my jumping time frames is confusing. I'm not sure I really like it, but I don't know...feel like the story needed it. Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews….I'm working on replying to them now ☺ So, without further adiou... 

**Manhattan 2032**

"Ok. Yeah, they said I could catch the early flight out tomorrow. 6:15...ugh...so I'm going to have to be at the airport at...what...4? ewww...Halle's lucky I love her...yeah yeah...I know. I'll see you both tomorrow. 8:15. Well, make it 8:45...give me some time to get my luggage. Ok...have a good day, thanks dad."

The only thing I can think of as I flip my cell phone shut is that I feel bad for lying. Me, the girl who accepts drinks at bars and then refuses to give the buyer the time of day. The girl you give your number to who never calls. The one night stand that's gone before you wake in the morning. And now, one phone call...one flight...one white lie and I'm nauseous. Granted, I know lying isn't the only reason I feel sick, but I'm pretty sure it's not helping.

With a sigh I slide down a little further in my desk chair and lean back as far as possible. The thought that he might check with the airlines briefly registers in my mind. Nah...no reason to, I'm not going to miss the wedding and Halle just got home and he's dad, never asked too many questions before, highly doubt he's going to start now. Still, that fear was rooted in my brain. I didn't really want to deal with the 'didn't you trust me enough to tell the truth?' questions just yet, I knew they would come with time. What I really wanted was to leave a message. On some level, I wished it had been my mother who was home. But I'm pretty sure that the sound of her voice would have broken me, and I would have told her everything. And soon, I will. Just not now. Not on the phone. Not the week before Halle's wedding. Not ever would be nice, but I know that will never happen.

The person I really want to talk to, if I have to talk to someone, is Halle. Childhood had it's ups and downs and we had our share of fights, but, she was always there. We held hands and stood together through the long nights and the crazy days and the good times and the bad. My circle of friends changed, my familly changed, but Halle, Halle was my constant. And, aside from all that, I know she's been here. Slightly different circumstances, yes, but she's been here. But she was here with Will. Will who ran across the country to her when he found out. Will who was sickeningly perfect and stroked her hair and crawled into her bed even though he was mad as hell at her for not telling. Will who was still around years later. But me, I have Keith.

Keith. I let out another sigh at the thought of my...I don't know. I use the term boyfriend loosely. Keith was my one night...no, one day stand, who turned out to be so much more. He was steamy looking guy on rollerblades who ran me down while I was running. He was the steamy guy who happened to be a doctor who insisted on taking me somewhere to get cleaned up. He was the steamy doctor who turned out to be the perfect gentleman, with whom I spent the day and then night and then some with. You'd think after five months of that, we would have discussed a title. But, I didn't want to be that girl, the one who has to define a relationship. Up until three days ago, I had been content to be the Jr. Marketing Manager with the really cute doctor boyfriend. And now...now everything was about to change.

I attempt to push pause on the thoughts running through my head, seriously, life needs a pause button, and I run my hand over a picture frame on my desk. It's a little blonde girl sitting on a piano bench. What happened to her? I ask myself. Where did she go? She was nice and sweet and kind and didn't get knocked up by a guy she wasn't even sure was her boyfriend. I picked up the frame next to it and traced a line around the three faces in the picture. Mom, Halle, and myself, at the zoo. I chuckle at the memory of that day. How I whined that the zoo smelled...and how Halle was jumping on everything, claiming that she wished she was a monkey. And how I was pretty sure mom was going to leave her in the monkey cage. And the ice cream...I can still taste the ice cream mom gave us right before that picture was taken. Halle is still wearing some of it in the photo. Oh those were the days. How I wish I could live them forever, trips to the zoo and ice cream and laughter. Wow, growing up really sucks some days.

I absent-mindedly run a hand over my stomach, and wonder if he or she will like the zoo and ice cream and will laugh with me. God I'm scared. I try to imagine what my mother would be telling me if she knew. Maybe it would be easier if I told her, but I know that deep down, I'm not ready to tell anyone, even Halle. Mom would tell me to swallow my fear and call Keith. That my child deserves the chance to have a father. That's the advice she'd give, not to repeat her what she says is her biggest regret.

Ok. Enough of this. I guess, I'm going to have to do it sooner or later. And as much as I'd like to think that later would be easier, I know it's not. Plus, I'm already going to be fighting that battle with my family, might as well not fight it with Keith as well. I take a deep breath and watch my shaking hand dial a now familiar number. "Hi, can I please speak with Dr. Keith Sloan? Yes, I'll hold. Thank you."


	14. Meredith 4

A/N: Lunch break writing…not sure how I feel about this one. I don't think I like it i just...i dont know about how it turned out. part of me feels like they wouldnt be this cute, but thats how it keeps coming out. and part of me feels that after ten years and two kids, all bets are off and moving forward might be more important than looking back. but dont worry, there will be more angst to come. so….yeah…here it is anyway….

Still don't own anything….cept Hannah and Halle…..

Italicized words are Halle on the phone.

**Manhattan 2017 **

_"Mom," said the voice on the other end of the phone, "you're going to miss your flight. Dad is going to show up, and you aren't going to be ready, and then you're going to miss your flight." _

"I will be fine. Are you sure you're ok? Does your head hurt? You haven't been up moving around too much have you? Are you lonely? I can come stay with you..." I tell her, my voice trailing off.

_"Mom...you're doing it again." _

"Doing what again?"

_"That thing...that thing where you're all concerned and motherly and I almost feel like I'm talking to Aunt Izzie." _

"Ok, you, no more Sundays with Aunt Christina. I...I don't want to leave you, Halle. I never do. It's just that..."

_"It's important," She finishes for me. "It's a fellowship evaluation. It's ok. I'm not alone. When you're in the ICU for two weeks, you make friends. And, you're not leaving me. Well, you are, but Dad's here...or he will be after he takes you to the airport. So you should definitely get ready." _

I realize at that moment, she's right. For the first time ever, I'm not leaving her alone. I'm leaving her with her father. Her living, breathing father. For as long as I can remember, I thought this moment would never come.

_"Mom?" Halle's voice on the other end of the line jarrs me from my thoughts. "Mom," she says again. _

"What? What is it? Do you need something? That's it...I'm staying...I'll ride back with you."

_"Mom! Stop! I was just going to say goodbye. Cause you need to pack." _

"I am packed."

_"Right. I can totally see you. You're sitting on the bed, looking at your suitcase. You have stuff all over the bathroom..." _

"Ok, ok, guilty as charged." How that girl manages to know me so well is beyond my comprehension. "Why are you in such a hurry to get me off the phone? Do not even think about leaving that room young lady."

_"Where is there to go? It's a hospital. I want to get off the phone with you, because then I can call Will, and he's much more fun to talk to than you are." _

"You are totally going to marry him." I respond, and then wait a few seconds, "And I can totally see you now, you're sticking your tongue out at me."

Before she has the chance to respond, there's a knock at the door. "Ok, baby, I have to go. Der..your dad is here."

_"Told you. Bye mom. Have a safe trip." _

"Bye baby...stay safe." I tell her and flip the phone shut. I take a few seconds to regain my composure and keep the tears I'm holding in from falling. This was not a good idea, what was I thinking. I can't leave her and fly back across the country. Evaluation or not. I hear the door click as Derek swipes the key I gave him.

"Mer?" I hear him calling, "Mer?"

"Back here," I respond.

"Hey," he says softly, walking over to me. "What's wrong?" He asks upon looking at my face.

"Nothing." I tell him, looking at the floor.

I feel his hand lifting my chin so our eyes meet. "It's not nothing. Mer, what is it? You can tell me," He says, running a finger down my cheek.

"I'm...I'm afraid. I've never left her before. Well, that's not true. But she's hurt and what if she's scared, and I'm not there...and what if something happens and..."

He takes my face in both of his hands and stops my rambling with a soft kiss. "She will be fine." He tells me.

Hearing him say that, it's almost so easy to believe. Almost. "I know..I just. I'm leaving and she's staying here."

"Just for a few days. We'll be in Seattle in a week. If Halle could fly, or if you didn't have your evaluation, we could all make the trip together. And, trust me, I will be prepared for anything that might happen."

"I know," I tell him as I absentmindedly draw patterns with my finger on my jeans. "I'm just...scared."

"It's not just about Halle is it?"

I'm not sure how to respond, because he's been more than wonderful through all this, and I don't know how to tell him that this, this he and I thing, scares me more than having the twins again.

"Mer, it's ok. It's ok to be scared. It's ok to be hesitant. I know I hurt you. And I can't promise that I won't ever again, but I can promise that I will spend the rest of my life trying not to."

I look into his eyes, and I want to believe him. But I'm still...afraid.

"We'll take this slow, as slow as you need to feel comfortable. Because God knows, I'd wait for you forever."

At this point, I'm biting my lip to keep from crying. I want to grab a hold of him and never let go. But that reservation is still there. It's dying, but right now, it's still there.

"Come here," he says, pulling me up from the bed and into his arms. "Relax. I won't let you fall," He tells me, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. With his last sentance, my resolve crumbles and once again, I'm crying. God, why? Seriously, I could count on one hand the amount of time we've spent alone the past two weeks, and I'm pretty sure I've spent more than half of that crying on his shoulder. What is wrong with me? Love...that must be it.

He holds me until my tears stop, and after. God I've missed this. "Thank you." I tell him, picking my head up off his shoulder and looking into his deep blue eyes. "For everything."

"No," he says, "Thank you."

He gives me one more tight squeeze and then releases me.

"So, about this flight..."

"Crap. Let me throw my stuff in my bag."

"Too busy talking to Halle this morning.'

"Something like that..."

His only response is a chuckle.

"There's not that much stuff. I sent most of it back with Izzie and Hannah three days ago."

"I'm sure Izzie appreciated two bags and a kid."

"I'm sure she did." I respond. "That one," I say, pointing to a green Adidas bag in the corner, "is yours. Well, it's Halle's. And, you might need to take her shopping...I'm not sure what she brought...she might need..."

"Mer." He says, taking my flailing hands in his, "Halle and I can figure it out. I promise."

I just look at him and sigh, knowing he's right.

"Now, let's get your stuff and get you to the airport before the plane takes off." He says, walking out of the bedroom and into the entry way, taking mine and Halle's bags with him. I followed and when I reach him, he hands me a cup of coffee. "Thought you might be able to use this," he says.

I smile in response and take a long sip. Dark roast, light on the cream, high on the sugar. Just like I like it, I say to myself. And, as we head out the door, him with our bags and a hand in the small of my back, I realize that everything just might be ok. That I really might finally have the chance to be Cinderella.


	15. Derek 5

A/N: ok...so this might be the last one for a few days as im losing the internet connection when i go on vacation. hopefully ill have one there as well...im running on zero sleep, thank you red-eye last night...so hopefully this makes sense. its once again from dereks pov.

still dont own anything...

Manhattan 2017

It's amazing how much can change in two weeks. Two weeks ago, I was practically living in an on call room, filling my time with surgeries, and showering only when Addison reminded me I needed to. Two weeks ago, I was clinging to the shell of my former self. Then a trauma page saved my life.

"Dad?" Halle's sleepy voice jarrs me from my thoughts, "I'm hungry...and I kind of have to pee. Can we stop soon?"

"Of course we can. What do you like to eat?" I asked her, taking a minute to look at her. I've been looking at her for the past two weeks, but yet, I stil find myself in complete awe of her. This little person, part me, part Meredith, has managed to steal my heart in a matter of days, minutes really, but considering who her mother is, it's no surprise. I look into her eyes and it's like I'm starring into my own. Her hair, or what's left of it after surgery, is thick black curls that just attract hands. She's like a new toy and I can't get enough of her.

"Ummm...I'm not training...so I can eat whatever I want, right?"

"You can eat whatever you want." I tell her, and make a mental note to check on what they force her to eat during training. I also note the smile that crosses her face, she has her mother's smile. "Let's see at this rest stop there is...Burger King...McDonalds...Pizza Hut...and Panda Express. It looks like you can get any type of heart attack in a bag you want."

"McDonalds. Definitely McDonalds."

"McDonalds it is then." I tell her with a smile.

Soon, we've hit the bathrooms and gotten our heart attack in a bag and we're on the road again. I'm excited to be back on the road with Halle awake, because in the four hours since we've left New York, she's been asleep. This is the first time I'll have really had to talk to her.

"So," I say to her...

"So," She says back.

"You like McDonalds?"

"I like McDonalds. But not when I'm training. Then I like ham sandwiches...and fruit. And veggies...and anything else not greasy or yummy." She tells me.

"I see. But you eat well?"

"You know my mother right? And my aunt Izzie..." I nod my head in response. "Do you really think they'd give me the option to not eat. What sucks, really sucks, are all the cupcakes...they're everywhere...EVERYWHERE...and I can't eat them. Hannah does...right in front of me. And it makes me want to smack her..."

I just laugh in response. I can't believe I missed ten years of their lives, but now, now isn't the time for regrets. All I can do is move forward and enjoy the future with them and with Mer.

I glance and her and then back at the road. I'm thinking about how she still looks adorable even though she has a bandana covering her head to hide the fresh surgical scars and her bandages. She lost weight being in the ICU for two weeks, and as a result, her jeans didn't fit. I almost lost it right there...being a father is going to be harder than I realized. Thank God for Addison, she was the one to weave the second bandana through Halle's jeans. As that thought leaves my mind, I begin to wonder exactly what we're going to talk about for four days, without being ackward. I realize that I don't even know how to talk to a ten year old, much less my ten year old.

Luckily, she answers that question for me, "I like this." She says.

"Like what?"

"This...having a dad. Being with my dad."

"Good. I like having daughters."

"Good. How come you waited so long?"

I take a deep breath, I had known this was coming and while she has every right to ask, I had hoped that she wouldn't...or that she'd ask Mer."

"Well...umm..." I stutter.

"I'm not two...you can actually talk to me."

"I know...I...I left with Addison..."

"The red-head."

"Yes, the red head."

"I liked her."

I laugh in response, "don't tell your mother that...anyway, I left with her, to try and fix what was already broken beyond repair. But...it didn't work and I shouldn't have left...and when it was over, I should have come back, but I couldn't. I couldn't come crawling back to Mer..your mother like that. Now I wish I would have."

"I don't hate you."

"That's good."

"No. I mean...incase you thought that I did...or something...or that I might. I just wanted to let you know that I don't. You didn't know. You're my dad...and I like that."

"Good. So you like gymnastics?" I say, attempting to turn the conversation to something more fun for both of us.

"Yeah. I liked the vault. Competing was fun too. So was winning. Even though mom says that shouldn't be the reason I do it."

I chuckle at that thought...I could see Mer telling her that.

"But half the time, she was more into it than I was..." Halle tells me laughing. I join in and laugh along with her, her laughter is contagious. God, I haven't felt this good in years.

"Halle?" I ask.

"Yeah?" She answers, questioningly.

"Why do you talk about it in the past tense?"

"Well..." She begins,"I...I'm not sure I want to do it anymore. It's hard...and...and...I'm...I'm scared." She says, as if a huge weight has been lifted off her shoulders.

"It's ok to be scared." I tell her. "But, don't let fear run your life. I was afraid once too. I was afraid to come back to Seattle, afraid to see that your mother had moved on, afraid of what I didn't know. So, I stayed. And I missed out. I missed you and your sister growing up and I never thought I could regret something so much, but it's possible. So, if you want to give it up, give it up, but do it for you and you only. Not because you're scared. Don't let the fear win, because you might regret it. That and I've never had the chance to see you kick some serious butt out there."

She responds to my advice with a smile. "Thanks." She says, "I'll think about it."

We ride along in silence for a little while as she stares out the window, taking in the scenery.

"How long until we stop for the night?" She asks me.

"A few more hours. If you feel up to it. We can stop sooner if you want."

"No, I'm ok. Tired, but I can sleep in the car. How long until we're back in Seattle?"

"Four days maybe...five, Depending on how fast we take it." My answer seems to satisfy her as she curls up tightly under the blanket Addison gave her before we left. I watch her, completely mesmerized, as she falls back into sleep.


	16. George

A/N: woohoo...the hotel has free wireless :) ok...so many more ideas tossing around in my head after a day in the car...well see how much i get posted before i lose my internet connection for good.

thank you for all the wonderful reviews...they definitely make this more fun.

this one is from georges pov, which for the record, was really hard to write…im not so sure I captured George….

**Seattle 2017**

As I pulled into the airport garage, I couldn't for the life of me figure out why I was doing this, I must be a glutton for punishment or something like that. Izzie and Christina both have to work, yep George, keep telling yourself that. You're the only one who could pick Meredith up from the airport, that's why you're doing this. Not cause you're still hopelessly in love with her or anything...

"Uncle George?" asks Hannah from the passenger seat, "Are you going to park in any of these spots? Or are we going to drive around all day?"

"Ahhh...yes Miss Hannah, we will be parking here, princess," I respond, half joking, half serious. She can be such a brat sometimes, kind of like Mer, but, it doesn't make me love her any less.

"I'm hungry, Uncle George."

"Of course you are. We'll get food after we get your mom, ok Hannah."

"I'm hungry now." She responds.

"Hannah, I don't know what you want me to do. You didn't want to eat before we left the house."

"I wasn't hungry then...I'm hungry now..."

"Here," I say to her, handing her a half eaten bag of chips.

"ewww..."

"Well, that's all I have, chips or nothing."

"Fine." She grumbled, taking the chips.

As we get out of the car and head in the airport, my thoughts return to Mer. I don't know too much of what happened in New York. Hannah came home all excited that she met her dad, and mentioned that he was coming back to Seattle, but just as quickly sat down and began playing piano. Izzie wouldn't tell me much either, only that Derek now knew about the girls, and he was coming back to Seattle. I don't know what that means for Meredith. If Shepherd's back, it's only a matter of time. She loves him, always has, always will. And he loves her. And I...as much as I want to be with her, I can't stand in the way.

It just...it just seemed like she was coming around. We had started hanging out more. She'd come to my apartment and we would just hang out...and talk...and it was almost as if she was starting to hear me.

"Mommy!" I hear Hannah shriek, wiggling her hand out of mine and taking off.

"Hannah!" I yell after her, failing in my attempt to get her to slow down.

I pause and take in the scene once she reaches Meredith, who is walking towards us, suitcase in tow. As Hannah reaches her, Meredith drops the suitcase and scoops up her daughter. I watch Mer swing her around, and she seems happier than I've seen her in a long time. And I'm glad, I really am. I just wish it could be me making her happy. I would have never hurt her, I wouldn't have left, I would have given her the white picket fences and Cinderella story years ago. But, I can't. I could give her everything she would ever need. I could be a father to the twins, God knows I love them enough. But I know I could never be enough for her, and as much as that pains me, I love her enough to let her go, let her go and be what ever she needs when she needs it.

"Welcome back, Mer," I say, pulling her into a hug.

"Thanks, George," She responds, "It's good to be home." She tells me smiling. I smile back, because smiling is contagious, especially when it's Meredith smiling. And I haven't seen her smile like that since...before Addison showed up.

"Where's my other niece?" I ask innocently, I was mildly aware of the plan for Halle's trip back to Seattle.

"She's riding back with Derek, not allowed to fly yet. I talked to him this morning...they should arrive sometime tomorrow."

"Ahh...I see." I try not to let my feelings about Derek show, and if they do, she doesn't say anything.

"Mommy?" Hannah asks, squeezing between us.

"Yes sweetie?" Meredith answers, looking down at her daughter.

"Can we go get some food? I'm hungry and all uncle George would feed me were chips."

"I'm sure..." Meredith answers her. "But you'll have to ask uncle George if we can get some lunch."

"Can we Uncle George? Can we? Can we?" She asks, jumping on my arm.

"ahhh..." I grunt, scooping her up, even though she's far too big to be carried, "I suppose."

Meredith throws her head back and laughs as we make our way to the car. I can't help but think how we look like a happy family, and I only wish we could be.


	17. Halle 4

A/N: ok..this might be the last one from 2017...i had to do another derek/halle chapter...i drove across the country with my dad, so i really just couldnt resist.

Anyway, I think this might be the last one for a little while…like maybe next Thursday, but ill try….

Still don't own anything…..

Enjoy!

**On the road 2017**

"Are we there yet?...Are we there yet?...Are we there yet?" I ask for probably the eighth time in the last hour, just to drive my dad nuts.

"Aahhhh...is that all you can say?"

"Pretty much," I tell him, sticking my tongue out.

"You are something else," he tells me. "It's a good thing I think you're cute."

"I am cute...and if I wasn't you'd what? Leave me out here...cause I'm sure mom would love that. Then she'd want to marry you for sure. You do want to right? Get married?"

"Well...ummm..." He stutters and then swallows, I almost laugh at the ability I have to put him on the spot. "You aren't very shy are you?"

"Nope. That would be Hannah. She's the shy one. I'm generally loud and I'm much more fun." I tell him.

"I'm sure. And yes, I would love to marry your mother. Perhaps we can have a joint wedding with you and Will."

I stuck my tongue out at him in response, just like every time mom tells me that. "I am NOT going to marry Will," I tell him.

"Sure, what ever." He responds.

I smile and settle back into my seat. Two weeks ago, I didn't know my dad. Now I'm not so sure how I ever lived without him.

"Hey Halle," He says about an hour later.

I slowly open my eyes to look at him and realize the car has stopped.

"We're there..."

"Yay...sleepy dad..." I utter.

"Ok baby, I'll come get you." He says, walking around the car and opening my door. I crawl into his open arms and settle against his chest as he carries me into the hotel.

"love you dad..." I say softly as he lays me in bed and covers me.

"I love you too, Halle," He says, kissing my forehead.

A clap of thunder wakes me a few hours later. I hate thunder. I want to go home so I can climb into bed with my mom. I miss my mom. After another flash of lightening and a second loud clap of thunder, I'm shaking so badly, I can barely breathe. It's then I realize that I don't feel so good and I need to get into the bathroom. I try to move, but I just...can't. I try to scream, but I can't seem to do that either. My chest rises and falls at a rapid pace as tears fall down my cheeks. Why isn't someone here? I need help and..I can't get up. I can feel my throat getting tighter and tighter and soon I've given up the struggle not to puke in favor of the struggle to breathe. I don't want to die...

At that moment, the bathroom door opens and dad walks out. "Halle!" He yells, running over to the bed. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Ca...can't...brea.."

"Ok...ok..." He tells me, kneeling down and taking me in his arms. "Slow deep breaths, with me...in...out...in...out..."

I attempt to follow, it's painful at first, but soon, my breathing evens out.

"It's ok." He tells me, "I'm here."

As my breathing returns to normal, I begin to relax against him. It's then that my stomach remembers it needs to empty it's contents...now.

I turn to look at him, "I need...I'm going to..." I utter as I try to get up. Unfortunately, I'm still not strong enough to get up fast and my stomach empties...all over the bed. "I...I..."

"It's ok," he says, gently lifting me, "we'll make it for round two."

He carries me to the bathroom and sets me down. I'm sick again, but at least this time I'm in the right place.

"I want mom." I say to him as the thunder claps again and more tears run down my face.

"I know baby, we'll be home tomorrow. But, we can call her now if you want to talk to her."

I nod my head as the tears continue to fall. Soon he comes back with the phone.

"Hi Mom." I say into the receiver.

_"Hi baby," she says. "How are you feeling?"_

"My tummy hurts...and my head is all foggy and it's storming."

_"I know baby. But you'll be home tomorrow. And you're probably having a reaction to the meds they gave you. I'm going to get you new ones now."_

"Ok..."

_"Ok? Daddy will take good care of you, I promise. Get some rest, baby and I'll see you tomorrow."_

"Ok mom. I miss you...and I love you."

_"Good night baby. I love you too. Give the phone back to your dad now."_

I hand the phone to dad, and continue resting against the bathtub. Soon my dad flips the phone shut, walks out of the bathroom and returns with one of his t-shirts.

"Here baby, put this on." He tells me and then leaves the bathroom. A few minutes later, there's a soft knock on the door. "Are you all set."

"Yeah..." I say, my voice hoarse from being sick.

"Ok. Bed time then." He says, walking back in and scooping me up. He carries me over to the other bed and walks back to the bathroom. The thunder claps again while he's gone and I jump. He quickly returns with a glass of water.

"Incase you need it," He tells me, setting it on the bedside table.

I nod my head, still shaking and tears still running down my cheeks. He sits down on the other side of the bed and pulls me over to him so I'm resting against his side.

"It's ok." he tells me soothingly, while smoothing my hair. "It will be over soon. And we'll get you new meds tomorrow. Mom is calling them in right now."

I sigh against him and my breathing finally returns to normal. Curling deeper into his side, I decide that with him there, thunderstorms might not be as bad as they seem.


	18. Halle 5

A/N: and im back...well, not really. yay for airport wireless...seriously, the internet is like my oxygen, how i survived without it for a week, beyond me. thank god for the lap top...anyway, i just read all the reviews from the previous chapters...thank you so much, after this trip, i almost cried. anyway, writing was pretty much my escape all week, so i have enough chapters to post one a day from now until eternity... anyway, this one is from halles pov, back in present time (2032) and the last one was not the last chapter from 2017, but that part of the story should be advancing soon...ok...without further adiou... only hannah and halle are mine... 

**Seattle 2032 - October**

I have decided that at 25 I'm far too old to climb trees. William Jefferson Bailey, you damn well better make this worth my while, is the only thought on my mind as I make my way up the tree outside his window. I take a deep breath and hoist myself up one final branch so I'm finally sitting outside his window. I take one of the stones I carried up out of my pocket and toss it at the window. When he doesn't come, I repeat the process with another. I'm pretty sure I'm on my tenth stone and contemplating how I'm going to get down by the time he opens the window.

"Hay?" He questions.

"I am so going to kill you, and yes, it's me."

"Aren't you a little old to be climbing trees?" He asks me, as I shimmy down the branch and into the window.

"My thoughts exactly," I tell him as he lifts me in. "But I'm still traumatized by prom night. And your mom's car was in the driveway…."

_The first thing I notice when I wake up is the unfamiliar surrounding. Where am I? I move to stretch my arms and I realize I can't because there are arms around me, familiar, loving arms. As I roll into them, I spot my prom dress draped over the back of Will's chair._

_When I look back at him, I see that he too is awake._

"_Morning beautiful," he says, lightly kissing me._

"_Morning," I say, kissing the tip of his nose._

"_Good Morning!" Booms another voice, opening the door._

_Oh crap…..is the only thought running through my mind. I cover my face with my hands and pray for the earth to swallow me._

"_You," Miranda said, pointing at Will, are not leaving this room unless I say so for a very long time. "And you," she said, pointing at me, "Have five minutes to get dressed, get your stuff, and get downstairs. Your ride is waiting."_

"_You called my dad?"_

"_No…I did better. I called your mom. Out of surgery. She's quite pleased."_

_We both just sat there, covered by a thin blanket, awestruck, unable to move._

"_Did I stutter? Why are you both still sitting here? Move! When momma aint happy, nobody's happy." She yelled, and walked out the door._

"Aren't you over your fear of my mother yet?"

"Will, she walked in, the morning after our first time. Yes, we live together in California and we're engaged and getting married in a week, but I still am and forever will be, mortified. I love your mother to death…but I'm still mortified."

"Ok…ok…but seriously, careful with the tree…I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt. Or how we'd explain that one."

"We wouldn't. Because I'd run away. Far away and never come back."

"Nah…you'd miss me too much."

"You….ha. I could have you replaced in no time."

"Oh really?' He says, stepping in close enough that I can feel his breath on my face.

"Really…" I say, my breath hitching at his close proximity.

"Bet not," he says, his mouth falling on mine before I can respond. Before I know it, he's kissing me and my knees are going weak and I'm about to fall, but he catches me and carries me to the bed.

He breaks the kiss long enough to lie me down and lie down next to me. He pulls me in and his lips continue melding with mine. God, I could totally get lost in his kisses.

"Ok…so the window," I tell him as his hands slide up the back of my shirt and rub my back. I'm the biggest sucker for back rubs and he knows it. "Totally worth it right now."

"I missed you all day," he whispers in my ear before kissing me again.

"Me too…." I tell him, my voice fading as I get totally caught up in the moment, until the sharp shrill of my cell phone brings us both back to planet earth.

"Just leave it." He tells me, his hands continuing to do things that would lead me to grant his request.

"I can't I tell him," looking at the caller ID, "It's Hannah."

"Hannah?" I answer with a question, as it's almost 3am in New York.

"_Hay?"_

"Yep, it's me…are you ok?" She sounds upset, so I can already tell she's not, but I want to give her the chance to tell me herself.

"_Yes…No….Yes…not really…but, I mean, I'm fine. Tomorrow…can you come get me? And maybe we can get some breakfast? Just us? I need to talk to you."_

"Of course. I'll see you around 8:30. Love you."

"_Love you too…and Halle, thanks."_

"Something's wrong with Hannah," I say turning back to Will, the mood completely ruined.

"Come here," he says. "We can cuddle and I'll rub your back."

I crawl into bed and lay against him and he runs his hands down my back. I'm worried about Hannah, it's got to be something big if she's calling me at 3am and won't tell me over the phone and specifically wants to have lunch just us. But somehow, being with Will makes it better. Like the two of us…we could just lie there and just forget the world. I think, at that moment, I realize I am making the right decision and this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

"Good night Will," rings Miranda's voice through the door, destroying my perfect moment, "Good night Halle. And for future reference, I do have a front door, which you're always welcome to use."


	19. Derek 6

A/N: one more for tonight. And thank you for the reviews….seriously, they made my day. This one is back in 2017, from Derek's POV. Enjoy!

**Seattle 2017 - February**

Meredith stepped outside as we pulled into the driveway, clad in loose fitting jeans and a purple sweater. She wraps her arms around her body in effort to stay warm in the Seattle chill. Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, she wore no make up, and I'm pretty sure she had George's shoes on her feet. To an outsider, she may have looked less than put together. I had never seen anything more beautiful.

"Mom!" I hear Halle cry out in the seat next to me.

"Yep, we're home baby. Just hold on, let me turn off the car and I'll come get you out." However, Meredith beats me to it and is opening Halle's door before I can even get my seatbelt off.

"Mom!" she exclaims again, as Meredith lifts her out of the car. As Meredith swings her on to her hip and Halle's head rests on Mer's shoulder, I realize that I have never seen Meredith look more gorgeous than she does right now, in this moment.

"Halle!" yells another voice, and I look up and see Hannah running out the door, shoe-less and dirty blonde hair flying behind her.

"Hannah!" Halle yells back, much softer, but the sight of her sister brings a smile to her face.

"Izzie made dinner. Mac and cheese, your favorite," Hannah informs her sister.

At the sight of her sister jumping around, Halle began to wiggle in Meredith's arms.

"Derek, can you," Meredith started to ask.

I reached over and took Halle out of her arms before she could finish.

"Thank you." She said. "And you," she said, looking at Hannah, "won't even go play outside, now you're out here without shoes?"

"ummm…." She ponders for a minute…"Hi Daddy." She says looking at me.

"Hi pumpkin." I respond, smiling at her.

"Come on, let's get in the house before it starts raining again," Meredith says, scooping up Hannah. I watch in awe as Halle reaches over and joins hands with her sister.

"Hi guys…in here," we hear Izzie call from the kitchen. "Dinner is almost ready. And hello," she says when she spots Halle.

"Aunt Izzie," another smile, another little Meredith smile, Halle calls as she lets go of my shoulders and grasps Izzie's. I let go of her and let Izzie take her.

"Hannah, can you go tell Uncle George it's time to eat? I think he's upstairs sleeping in the spare room." Meredith asks her daughter.

A few seconds later we hear her scream up the stairs. "I could have done that…" Meredith mutters.

Five minutes later George enters the kitchen carrying Hannah around like an airplane.

"Uncle George!" Halle yells from Izzie's arms.

"Thanks Halle, I didn't need my ear, really."

"Sorry Aunt Izzie." Halle said, wiggling down, her mind already transfixed on something else, that something else being her favorite Uncle.

"Uncle George!" she yelled again, embracing him.

"Hey sweetie," he responded, scooping her up. "How's your head?"

"It hurts. I was allergic to the medicine, but mom got me new ones. And that's my dad." She told him, pointing at me, who until this moment had been hanging in the background. It was a lot to take in, this little family they had, especially after having Halle to myself for a week. I wasn't sure how I fit in and I didn't want to overstep.

"He is?" George answered, feigning surprise.

"Yep." She replied. "He's cool."

I heard Meredith chuckle next to me. "He is cool," George replied, setting Halle down and outstretching his hand.

"Good to see you again." He said.

"You as well," I responded, shaking his hand.

"So it is true," boomed a voice behind me. I know the owner before I even turn around, or hear Halle's cry.

"Will!" she yelled, running to her friend.

"Miranda." I say, turning around to face the Nazi for the first time in ten years.

"Did I mention I invited a few friends over?" Izzie asked innocently. "I thought Halle would enjoy seeing Will."

"Yeah, I wasn't really sure what I was going to do if Will asked me one more time when Halle was coming back." Said Miranda.

"Dinner!" yelled Hannah from the dinning room.

"I guess it's time for diner," said George.

I hang back and watch everyone file out of the kitchen and into the dinning room. The whole scene is beautiful, but extremely hard to watch. How do I fit in? Where do I fit in? Should I even be here? They have a wonderful family, they seem to have all they need. Meredith seems happy…the girls seem happy…I'm not sure I can compete with all this.

"You're their father. You don't have to compete with all this."

I turn around and see that Miranda has hung back in the kitchen with me.

"Miranda," I say, attempting to hug her.

"No No No…a lot has changed in these past years, but not me. I still don't hug."

I just laugh and extend a hand. She hesitates.

"Ok. I have to say this. Are you going to hurt her? Cause then I'll hurt you. This is the happiest I have seen her in a long time and I'm guessing that's got a lot to do with you. And you have two beautiful children that adore you already. Trust me…after Halle called Will all I heard about for days was how Halle found her dad and how excited she was that he was coming home. I already gave her a pep talk…about not running in the other direction…and letting you in again. I re-convinced her you were a decent guy…DO NOT prove me wrong. Because I will hurt you."

Some things will never change I think to myself. I nod my head. "I love her Miranda. I will spend the rest of my life trying to never hurt her again."

She didn't have a response, she just grasped my hand and shook it.

Dinner passed uneventfully, well, as uneventful as we can be. Halle talked about her trip across the country. Hannah talked about her piano recital. Will caught Halle up on all the stuff she had missed while she was gone. I chatted with George, Miranda, Izzie, and Mer like nothing had changed but everything had.

And now, curled up on the couch with Halle in my lap and Mer at the other end with Hannah, I realize that there is nowhere I'd rather be. Miranda and Will had left hours ago, with Will promising to come over in the morning and hang out with Halle. Izzie is curled up in the chair to my left and George left shortly after dinner for his shift.

"I think it's bed time," said Meredith, breaking the post movie silence.

I look down at Halle's sleeping form and then across to Hannah's. "I'd say you're right." Thankful now that Meredith had insisted they put on their pj's before we put in a movie. "Ok," I say, standing up and lifting Halle over my shoulder before walking over and helping Mer with Hannah. "Lead the way," I say to her. Before we leave the room, I take one final glance at Izzie, who nods her head at me. I smile back in acknowledgement. I just hope I made the right move.

I follow Meredith up the stairs on a familiar route I haven't taken in years. She walks into a room two doors down from her own, pointing to the one next to it before totally disappearing.

I open the door to what I presume to be Halle's room. In the dark I see the glisten of multiple medals and trophies, and ribbons as my eyes adjust. Wow…she's quite the gymnast. In the right corner of the room is a gorgeous canopy bed. I walk towards it and gently lay the sleeping form of my daughter in it, and cover her. I sit down next to her and drink in the moment.

I run a finger over her face as I glance around the room. The hall light illuminates the room enough that I can make out The Clash poster on the wall by the closet and a dresser on the wall across from the bed. A gasp from Meredith's room brings me back to reality. I gently kiss Halle's forehead and make my way to Meredith's room.

"You deserve flower petals." I say to her from the doorway. Watching the priceless look on her face as she takes in the rose petals that have been strewn around her room.

"What…how…when…" she stutters.

"You're cute when you stutter." I tell her, closing and locking the door, "and Izzie. She helped me out with this one. Too much?" I ask her.

"Just enough." She tells me, outstretching her arm in my direction, like she had done when I had first shown her the trailer.

As I make my way across the room to her, I notice the vague resemblance it has to the Meredith's room I used to know. The bed and the chair and the floral comforter, all still there, but she's decorated. Pictures everywhere…pictures of Mer, pictures of Mer and the girls, the room looks lived in, it looks…happy.

I reach her and pull her close to me. Close enough that I'm pretty sure she can hear my heart trying to beat out of my chest. I look down at her as she looks up at me. I place a chaste kiss on her forehead. "I love you." I tell her. "More than anything."

"I love you too." She responds, just before our lips meet, soft at first, but becoming more urgent. I feel her hands grasping the bottom of my shirt and then lifting it over my head. We break our kiss long enough to pull her shirt over her head as well, and then resume right where we left off. I cup her face in both of my hands, and continue to kiss her, running my hands down her face and hair, to her back, and unclipping her bra.

"I love you." I whisper again. I feel her hands on my belt buckle, but this time, I don't stop her. I follow her lead and make a move for her jeans, sliding them and her panties off at once.

"Wow…" she utters, breathless.

"I know Mer, I know." I say, as we take in each other's naked bodies for the first time in ten years. My eyes looked her up and down twice, drinking in her beauty. God she was beautiful and God did I love her. My eyes fell on a scar crossing her abdomen in a straight line. I watched her hand slide down her chest and cover her scar, as if she was embarrassed.

"Don't…" I whispered, reaching out to touch it. She bit her lip. "Halle?" I asked her, running a finger across it.

"Halle," she responded.

"It makes you more beautiful." I tell her, kissing her once more before picking her up and carrying her to her bed. I kiss her again before laying her down on the bed and making love to her for the first time in ten years.


	20. Derek 7

A/N:

Might get another one up tonite, but I'm not sure.

Thank you all for the lovely reviews….they seriously get me through the day.

I updated my profile on here…woohoo…it finally exists.

I still don't own anything….

The story is still taking place in 2017, and the girls are still 10. However, this one takes place about 2 months after the previous one.

**Seattle 2017 - April**

"Dinner was amazing." Meredith says to me as we clean up the kitchen after words.

"Thank you," I tell her, placing a kiss on her nose. "Anything for you, and for you not to burn the house down."

"I resent that." She tells me.

"That's fine," I reply, "but could you prove me wrong?" I ask her, backing her against the counter. The pace of her breathing increases rapidly as we get closer together.

"No," she says, resting her forehead on mine, "I have other talents."

I step back and look at her smirking back at me before I close the distance between us and kiss her. It is a slow, tentative kiss at first, but grows deeper with the hunger of not having been alone for days. I pause briefly and lift her onto the counter in front of me and settle myself between her legs, and then begin kissing her again.

"I missed you," she tells me, in a seductive whisper.

"I missed you too." I reply, thinking back to how she was all I thought of during my four hour surgery this afternoon.

I look her in the eye one more time before beginning to kiss her again. I slide my hands up the back of her shirt and pull her closer, and I feel her hands slip inside my jeans.

"Should we move this upstairs?" I ask her.

"The kids…"

"Are locked in their rooms with their homework."

"Yeah…" she responds, her voice breathless.

Just as I'm about to pick her up and carry her up the stairs, my phone rings.

"Is it the hospital?" she asks as I set her back on the counter.

I look at the caller ID, a shocked expression crossing my face, "No, it's Addison."

Meredith looked at me quizzically, "Take it." She said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Addie?" I say, answering the phone.

"_Derek?" she replies, breathless and upset, and I can tell she's been crying._

"Addison, what happened? Is it the baby?"

"_He's dead, Derek."_

"Who's dead?" Her voice has me starting to panic. I can't make out who's dead, God, I hope she didn't lose the baby. She tried so hard to conceive and then when she finally did, and has carried it now for…seven months. "Addison, talk to me." I say into the phone, looking at Mer. 'Sorry' I mouth to her. She nods her head and gets up and picks up where we left off with the kitchen.

"_No…not the baby," her voice beginning to become garbled with emotion. "John…John's dead."_

My breath hitched at that moment. John, the man who swooped in and swept Addison off her feet after I broke her heart, John, the man who didn't have a problem with me, despite the issues Addison and I had, John the man who is most responsible for Addison and I being friends, John, the one man in New York I would still call a friend. John's dead. John's dead, I repeat to myself. This is the one thing worse than her losing the baby.

"Oh Addie," I say in a soft voice, not noticing Meredith stop what she's doing behind me to listen. "What happened?"

"_He was riding his bike…and…and as he crossed the street. The...the driver said she didn't see him…" at this point, I really can't understand her through her tears. I could make out something about died on impact, but that was about it._

Yep, that's John, the avid bike rider, who insisted on biking to and from work through New York City, despite every statistic Addison gave him against it. I honestly liked him, he was good for her, God, he was good to her. "Do you need anything?" I ask her, "I can come back for a few days."

"_Yes…No…I don't know Derek. I don't want to cause you any problems."_

"Addie, listen to yourself. All you did for me? I can come support you and get you through this."

"_I..I don't know. Oh..Savvy just walked in the door. I'll…I'll talk to you later."_

"Ok. And Addison, take care of yourself. There's two of you now."

"_I will…and Derek, thank you."_

"No problem. And please, let me know if you need anything."

"_I will."_

"Bye Addison."

I flip the phone shut and turn back to Meredith, who is leaning against the sink wearing an expression I have never seen before. I'm not even sure how to classify her look, anger, hurt, astonishment are a few that cross my mind.

"Are you leaving?" She asked me.

"I…I don't know."

"You don't know? Derek, you just got here. You just met your children, and now you're going to leave again. I…I don't particularly understand it, God knows your children aren't going to understand it."

"Addison's husband died." I tell her, "And she's pregnant."

"I was pregnant…and you left me with no problem."

"Is that what this is about?" I ask her, sounding angrier than I meant to.

"Yes. You had no problem leaving me for her…twice. And now, I finally think I will be able to spend the rest of my life with the man I love, you're taking off. Leaving us, again, for her."

"Mer, it would only be for a few days, a week tops." I tell her, trying to calm her down.

"Don't Mer me, and I could have used you for a few days ten years ago…or actually anytime between now and then. If you leave," she tells me, angrier than I've ever seen her, "you get to explain it to them."

"She called me, Meredith. Last time I checked, YOU never did. You know if you had, I would have been there." I see her biting her lip as tears begin to run down her cheeks. All I want to do right now is hold her. Pick her up, put her back on the counter, and pick up where we left off. Because the only thing worse than seeing the tears run down her face is knowing that I put them there.

"Whatever Derek. You never came back. Even after she left. But whatever, run back to her. I don't care." She continued yelling, "The girls and I were fine before you showed up and we'll be fine after you leave. Just please, explain it to them this time." She finished through gritted teeth.

"What are you doing?" I ask her as she throws on a coat.

"Leaving!" She yelled back, "You aught to recognize it. God knows you've done it enough." And then I'm looking at the inside of the kitchen door as it slams in my face.


	21. Meredith 5

A/N: one more cause I love this a little too much right now…..

Enjoy!

Still don't own anything….unfortunately….

**Seattle 2017 - April**

I had a friend in high school who had a two-month cliff superstition…if you could make it to two months, and then make it through the three month fight, you could get through anything. I used to laugh, probably because I never had a break up after two months. Then again, I'm not so sure I had a boyfriend for two months in high school.

It had been two months since Derek and Halle had pulled up in front of the house in Seattle. Two months since we had decided to leave the past behind and look forward to a future together. Two months since I finally felt like I was home.

As I sit on our bench watching the ferryboats, I can't even remember what the fight was about. Twenty minutes ago, I could have told you who started it and who's fault it was. Now, I just want it to be over. I want to go home, curl up with him, and forget this ever happened. But, life just doesn't work that way, and right now, I just don't know how to go home.

So I sit, on our bench in the rain, and watch the ferryboats. And wait. For what, I'm not sure, an absolution maybe.

"I thought I would find you here." Says a familiar voice behind me.

"I'm a creature of habit." I respond. "wh…" I begin to inquire about the girls as he sits down on the other side of the bench.

"Izzie," he says before I even get the words out. I love that. The fact that he can answer my questions before I get the chance to ask them, is just one reason why I love him so much.

I nod my head in response, unsure of what to say next. We both just sit in silence for a while, watching the ferryboats from our bench.

"Why is this so hard?" I ask, breaking the silence first.

"Because love isn't easy Mer. It's not supposed to be. That's what makes it so hard to find, so wonderful to have, and so easy to lose. And what makes it so important to fight for." He answers, sliding a little closer to me.

"But we just seem…."

"We're hanging on to the past." He tells me.

"We are hanging on to the past," I repeat in confirmation. "How do we make it stop?" I ask him after a few seconds, as I slide a little closer to him.

"I don't know that we can," He answers, "I think we just have to go with it. Take things on faith. Learn to trust each other again. It'll be hard…" he said, moving closer again, "but, Mer," he began, taking my hand in his, "I love you so much, and without you…I…I don't think I would be able to breathe."

I slide closer to him and squeeze his hand as I begin to respond. "I…I love you. But, I'm afraid. And, I try not to be, because I want to trust you, I need to trust you, because, I need you. But I was so broken. The broken I was when Addison showed up didn't compare to the broken I was once you left. I was a mess, Derek, a pregnant mess. But honestly, I think the pregnancy was the best thing for me, made me get up, get my life on track, with our without you."

He opened his mouth to say something, but I stopped him, "Please…let me finish. I…I need to say this. And I know that if I told you, you would have been at my side in an instant…and you never would have left. But…I couldn't do it. I couldn't let them be the reason you chose me, because deep down, I would always wonder if they were the reason you chose me. I thought about coming to find you, when I found out, and then again when I found out it was twins….and then after they were born, that first father's day…"

"I…I would have been there."

"I know…but I just couldn't get the pregnant dirty mistress out of my head. I…I needed to grow up. And I…I kept hoping. Hoping that you would magically walk back into my life. You would somehow find out, and you would be here, holding my hand, telling me it was all going to be ok and that you wouldn't ever leave me."

"Mer.." he said softly, sliding closer and wiping a tear I didn't realize was there. "I love you. It was always you, since day one. But…I had to try. I was too stubborn to admit failure and now, God I wish I would have. I…I missed out on getting to see you pregnant, going out in the middle of the night answering food cravings, the birth of my children, and the first ten years of their lives. Those are times I'll never get back. I love you Meredith Grey, have since the day I met you and will for the rest of my life."

"You didn't come back…"

"huh?"

"You got divorced…but you didn't come back…until now…until the girls..."

"I was afraid. I was afraid to come back. Afraid to see you happy with someone else. Afraid to come crawling back. Afraid that happiness might just be able to be a reality. I wish that I could turn back time. Because if I could, I would have never left you. I would have held you and never let you go and given you the white picket fences you deserve years ago."

I slide the rest of the way down the bench until we're touching. I squeeze his hand and lay my head on his shoulder.

"I…I love you Derek."

"I love you too Mer. We can do this. We both just need to have a little faith."

"We can do this." I repeat back to him.

We sit in silence for a little longer, just watching the ferryboats on the water, illuminated by the moon. Soon, my breathing begins to even out as I drift in and out of sleep.

"Mer?" He says, gently nudging me. "Baby, come on, let's get home. I'll take you in my car."

"No," I tell him, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, "I'm fine…"

"Ok," he tells me, "Then I'll follow you."

"Ok." I tell him as we stand and make our way toward our cars, hands and fingers still entwined. We reach our vehicles, hands still together. I didn't think I would ever be so reluctant to let go of someone's hand.

"Mer?" he said as he pulled me against him, "are…are we ok? Can we do this?"

I can feel my pulse increase with his close proximity, "Yeah…I wouldn't have it any other way."

He responds by placing a soft kiss to my lips. I reach a hand behind his head and deepen it as I pull him towards me. I feel his hands running through my hair, and I pull back.

"We should get home…" I say, breathless.

"Yeah…" He says, flashing his McDreamy smile and opening my car door. "Drive safe," he says, kissing my forehead and then shutting the door.

I pull out on to the road and catch Derek's eyes in my rear view mirror. What I don't see is the car to my left run the red light at the next intersection until it's too late. The last things I see are the faces of Derek and my girls, then, the world fades to black.


	22. Hannah 2

A/N: I realize youre all going to hate me for this….but, I will try to post another chapter later, which is a continuation of the last one…..for now….back to 2032 and Hannah..

Italicized words are keith on the phone.

**Seattle 2032**

Standing on the curb at the airport, I realize I should have asked Halle what car she was coming in. However, when I talked to her at 3am, the car she would be arriving in was furthest from my mind.

"Can I help you with that?" Asks a man standing next to me.

"No thanks, I'm good. My sister is picking me up."

"Ahhh….alright then, let me know if you need help. I'm always willing to help a damsel in distress."

I give him a pitiful smile, I'm so not in the mood for strangers. Not now…not ever. Especially here…in rain country. That's exactly what I need, a new boyfriend in Seattle.

"Are you staying long?" He asks, gesturing to my pile of bags.

Some people really don't know when to quit. "No. Not really." I tell him, not elaborating.

"Not really into talking are you?"

No, I'm tired and pregnant and I don't know what else, but for the love of God leave me alone before I unleash pregnant lady rage on you, I want to scream at him, but, I don't really want to deal with the social repercussions of that. Halle, where are you?

Before I have a chance to answer him, I'm saved by the bell of my cell phone. I pull it out of my purse and look at the caller ID, KEITH. Well, not really what I was looking for, but a rescue nonetheless.

"Sorry," I say to the stranger, "I have to take this."

"Hey Keith."

"_Hey babe. How are you feeling?"_

"Like I just got off a really early flight….and I'm hungry and Halle's not here and yeah…."

"_And some random is talking to you."_

"How did you know?"

"_Honestly, because you answered the phone. I figured I scared you and you wouldn't answer the phone and I'd be talking to your voice mail. I know this isn't the time or place, but I just wanted to let you know that I meant what I said. That and see how you were doing. I know you hate flying."_

I'm once again taken aback by his sweetness. I'm not really used to sweet guys. I have always seemed to attract the bad boys, the drink and ditch ones, the one-night stands, never the sweet ones who order you pizza and make pancakes in the morning. He really has been wonderful these past 24 hours, but…but I'm still not sure. It's a big change and we never discussed it. Again, Halle, where are you?

"Thanks, Keith. I'm…I'm ok. You have been absolutely wonderful, and yes, we need to talk. But I need to get through this wedding first. And I need to think. Right now, all I can say is thank you. Thank you for sticking by me and being you, and…" I almost blurt out, I love you, but catch myself in time. I love you? I love you? Oh my God…seriously? Like we need that thrown into the mix…"

"_Hannah? Earth to Hannah?"_

"Sorry, Keith…" Before I have to worry about thinking up an excuse for my daydream, I see Halle pull up in Dad's M-Class. "Oh, Keith, I have to go, Halle just got here."

"_Ok, I'll talk to you later. And Hannah, for what it's worth, it's going to be ok."_

"Thanks Keith, bye."

Wow, he's really…different. Or something. I've never been treated like this before and I'm not sure how to handle it. Before I can analyze anymore, Halle's voice interrupts my thoughts.

"Hannah!" She yells, and a mass of dark curls jumps on me.

"Halle!" I yell, embracing her. "I've never been so glad to see you, I say into her hair." God, I really mean that. I may have not been ready to talk the other night, but now I'm pretty sure if I don't I'm going to explode.

Her hands find my shoulders and push me back a bit. "You look good." She says, taking me in. I look at her as well, spitting image of dad…deep blue eyes, thick dark hair, she looks gorgeous. We're both thin, like mom, but that's where the similarities end, just like when we were kids, except now she's just as tall as me.

"How was the flight?" She asks.

"Not too bad, but…"

"You hate flying, I know."

I just laugh as we pick up my bags and load them in the back of dad's car as the TSA woman yells at us. Yep, we're bombing the airport. And we're dumb enough to stand right next to our car while we do it…

"So…breakfast?" She says to me as we make our way out of the airport.

"Red light….." I tell her, gesturing at the traffic light.

"Why thank you. I'm not the same person I was at 16. I can actually drive now. And I want to go eat with you."

"And dad will kill you if you smash up his car."

"That too…" She responds, laughing.

"Remember when we were 16, right after you got your license?"

"And I crashed the car. And they forced us to go to the hospital even though we assured them we were fine."

"And they paged both mom and dad out of surgery."

"And we were fine…well, relatively speaking."

"And dad hauled you into the on call room."

"Oh God, worst memory ever. And I lost the car…until I gained 20 pounds?"

I just nodded my head in response, I wasn't too sure where she was going with this. I know this isn't her favorite subject.

"But," she said, "It worked, so I guess it was worth it after all. Anyway, food? What do you feel like?"

"Emerald City Diner?"

"Emerald City Diner it is," she responds, turning down the street.

"Oh my God, Halle, you're getting married." I say to her, once we're seated in the restaurant.

"That I am." She responds.

"Are you excited?" I ask her.

"Hell yes. I mean, I feel like we kind of already are. He's been my…I don't know what forever. But I'm still afraid of his mother. I snuck in through the window last night and she STILL knew I was in there."

Despite everything going on with me, I laugh at the thought of Halle climbing a tree and crawling in the Bailey's window. I'm pretty sure I'd be afraid of Miranda too, actually, I kind of am and she didn't catch me in bed with her son, in her house.

"Halle, she's Miranda, I'm pretty sure she's always going to be scary."

"Oh Lord," says Halle, feigning distress, "What have I gotten myself into…"

I smile at her and we share a laugh as the waitress brings us coffee and juice.

"I'll just take the juice," I say to the waitress and try to ignore the surprised look on Halle's face.

She waits for the waitress to finish pouring her coffee before she speaks. "Ok, Caffeine addict," she says, "something is up. Spill." She tells me.

"Hmmm…well…Ok," I begin, looking into her blue eyes. "There's really no easy way to say this," she lets go of her coffee and takes both of my hands in hers.

"You can tell me, I promise I'll be there for you."

"Thanks, I needed that," I tell her. Ok, here goes nothing, "Halle, I'm pregnant."


	23. Derek 8

A/N: ok. so i intended on getting this up sooner, but i was gone all day. is it possible to sprain your knee? cause im pretty sure thats what i did...anyway, i guess that means rest and writing for me :) and chapters for you :) anyway, this one is back to 2017. warning...its sad. thank you for all the reviews...i enjoy them :) and im working on replying to them all now. still dont own anything. 

**Seattle 2017 - April**

I blinked my eyes several times, hoping to wake up from this nightmare. The past few hours past in a blur, I remember seeing the pick-up slam into Mer's car, running over and seeing her, bloody and broken through the window. I look down at my hand, now covered in bandages, leading me to believe I smashed the window to get to her. Yes, yes that is what I did. She had been unconscious, but she had a pulse, it was weak, but it was there. I remember the ambulance showing up and I think I sent them to Seattle Grace and I think I called Bailey or had someone call Bailey ahead, because she was waiting once we got there.

Now I sit, in an empty exam room, watching the rain out the window. Burke and Bailey kicked me out of Meredith's trauma room before I even got there. I need to be with her. I need her. Oh God, please don't take her from me. I honestly don't know what I'll do without her. So I sit and watch the rain and do something I haven't done in a long time, I prayed. I prayed for Mer and for our kids and for our future.

"Derek?" Miranda says quietly, slipping into the room with me. "Izzie's here with the girls."

"How is she?" I ask.

"No change. Burke and Webber are removing her spleen as we speak."

I lift my tear-stained face out of my hands and look at her.

"Derek," she says again, walking over to me, "I know you're upset, and I know this is hard, but your girls are here, I can talk to them, but…I think it would be better coming from you."

"Thanks Miranda, can you bring them in here?"

"Of course." She says, squeezing my shoulder. "You'll make it through. You're strong. She's stronger."

I nod my head in silent agreement as she leaves the room. I grab a few tissues in effort to clean myself up. How on earth am I going to do this? How do I tell my daughters, who I've known for two months that their mother, who has been with them all their lives, might not be ok. Before I can come up with an actual battle plan, I hear the door click. I want to yell out that I'm not ready, that I need a few minutes, but, I guess that's what parenthood is, dealing with things before you're ready.

The door opens and a worried looking Izzie walks in carrying a sleepy Hannah. Halle follows a few steps behind, Miranda's arms around her shoulders. Both girls are clad in pajamas with coats thrown over them.

"Sorry," said Izzie, gesturing to their attire, "I…I was just getting them into bed."

"Oh God, that's fine. Thank you," I tell her. "Can you guys give us a minute?" I ask, looking from Izzie to Miranda.

"Of course." Miranda says. "Come here kiddo," she says, picking up Halle and setting her on the bed in front of the stool I was sitting on. Izzie puts Hannah down next to her, and then both women leave. "We're right outside," Miranda called over her shoulder.

"Hi guys." I say to them, trying to keep myself together as I look at our two children. I see Halle with sleepy blue eyes and dark curls and Hannah, my ten year-old version of Meredith. God, nothing should have to be this hard. I notice Hannah reaching for Halle's hand. I reach for their free hands with both of mine.

"What happened?" Halle asks, gesturing at the bandages on the hand I'm offering her.

"Well…your mother," I say to them, my throat tightening, "Your mother was in an accident tonight."

"Like in a car?" Hannah asked.

"Yes pumpkin," I tell her, "in a car. Someone wasn't paying attention and…and they ran a red light and collided with your mom."

"Where is she?" Hannah asked me again.

"Well, she got hurt and the doctors are trying to fix her right now."

"Surgery?"

"Yes, Hannah, she's in surgery." For someone who doesn't talk much, she certainly is talking now.

"Where were you?"

"Pardon?"

"Where were you when she got hurt."

"Down by the ferryboats."

"You had a fight. I knew it. I heard you downstairs." Oh God, seriously, how hard can you make this?

"Yes," I tell her, "We…we had a fight." The only thing worse than the guilt I'm feeling for her accident is explaining it to our ten-year old daughters.

"And she left. And then she got hurt. You hurt mommy! I hate you. Do you hear me? I hate you!" Hannah yells, before jumping off the bed and running for the door. She flings it open and runs straight in to Izzie's arms.

I sit there, dumbfounded for a minute. Not sure what to do. They should come with a handbook. How to tell your kids their mother might be dead. My breath hitches at that thought. No, Mer isn't going to die. She can't die, because I can't live without her.

I stand up off the stool, noting that in the few minutes I took to compose myself, Halle too has disappeared. I walk to the doorway, expecting to see both the girls with Izzie and Miranda. What I find is Hannah, bawling into Izzie's chest and Miranda rubbing her back.

"Halle?" I toss out there, in hopes that someone may have seen her.

Miranda stops rubbing Hannah's back and moves over toward me. "She took off a few seconds after this one," she said, pointing to Hannah. I look down the hall and move to head down the hallway in the direction Miranda is looking.

"No," came Miranda's voice, "I'll go find her. You take care of her," she said gesturing back to Hannah, "She's going to need you more than you know."

I nod my head, "You know where Halle is?"

"I've known that girl for ten years Derek, she's you. Where would you go?"

I nod my head again, understanding she's on the roof. "Thanks Miranda," I say to her, turning to Izzie and Hannah.

"Hannah?" I say, attempting to take her from Izzie.

"I HATE YOU! HATE YOU!" she screamed, her tiny, ineffectual fists beating against me.

I just wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her to me. Soon, her fists stopped and her screams gave way to sobs, and she just let me hold her.

"Derek," Izzie whispered. "You need to take her home. I can drive you if you want. Christina is going to call as soon as Meredith is out of surgery. Then I'll stay with her and you can come back."

I nod my head as Izzie grabs Hannah's coat and drapes it over her sobbing form. As much as I want to stay and be the boyfriend, I know I need to be the parent right now, and that means taking my daughter home.

We walk out to my car and Izzie fishes the keys out of my pocket. Under different circumstances, this would have been found extremely humorous. As she opens the front door and climbs in I crawl into the back, still holding my daughter. I would consider just holding her, but given what just happened, there's no way I'm riding anywhere without a seatbelt.

It takes me a few minutes, but I manage to get the seatbelt over both of us. "All set," I tell Izzie. And she pulls out of the parking lot.

By the time we get home, Hannah's breath has evened out, save for the hitches from crying and I'm pretty sure she's asleep. Izzie guides the car into the driveway, parks, gets out, and opens my door.

"Thanks." I tell her as I get out with my daughter. I carry her in the house and up to her bed, gently laying her in it. Poor kid, I think, as I bend down and kiss her forehead, she doesn't even stir.

After getting Hannah in bed, I walk over to Meredith's doorway and rest against it. Mer, I think, please be ok. The girls, they need you. I…I need you.

"Tea?" I hear Izzie ask behind me. "I know it's not much, but, maybe it would help a little."

"No, it's perfect, thank you Izzie." I say to her taking the tea and walking into Meredith's room, sitting on the edge of the bed we've shared for the past two months.

"It's not your fault, you know that right?"

"As much as people say that, and as much as I know that deep down, it doesn't make this any easier, or make me feel any less responsible."

Izzie sits down next to me and puts her arm around me. I take a deep breath and inhale the air in Meredith's room, and I just smell Meredith. Her lavender shampoo, the body spray she puts on every morning, the smell of her clean clothes, she's everywhere, and it's just too much. Izzie must have felt me shutter, because she took the tea out of my hands and placed it on the floor. The events of the day finally caught up with me and I couldn't hold it in anymore, I grabbed a hold of Izzie and just cried into her shoulder.

I didn't hear her come in through my tears, but soon I feel a small hand on my back. I take my head off of Izzie's shoulder and am face to face with Hannah.

"Daddy, you're crying." She said, touching my tear-stained cheek.

"Yeah…" I say, letting go of Izzie and reaching for my daughter. "Come here Pumpkin." I say to her. Hannah climbs up on the bed and curls into me.

"Are you leaving?" She asked me, once she was situated in my lap. I knew this was coming after she told me she heard us fight. I had just hoped she would wait a few days.

"No Pumpkin, Daddy's staying right here." I tell her, running my hand through her soft blonde hair.

She looks up at me and bites her lip, "I'm scared daddy." She said, burying her face into my chest as she started to cry again.

"Me too," I tell her, as my own tears continue to fall. Izzie gets up, looking at me for permission to leave and I nod my head granting it.

"I'll come up if I hear anything." She whispers, shutting the door behind her.

I pull Hannah closer, and the two of us lay there, in Mer's bed, clinging to one another and the shred of hope that everything would be ok.


	24. Bailey

A/N: ok...thanks to tiger817 for letting me know that this chapter mysteriously disapeared. anyway, its bailey's pov...pretty sure i butchered it, but maybe its not that bad... 

**Seattle 2017**

These poor kids need a break. They all need a break. First Grey's pregnant and he's gone. Lord if I could have gotten my hands on him. And then, it's twins, and he's still gone. Again, if I could have gotten my hands on him. Then those two gorgeous girls were born and Grey, well, Grey is amazing. How that woman managed to elevate her career like she did and raise two children on her own, I'll never know, but she did it.

Then Halle's injured and in a hospital in New York, Meredith was a wreck before we got word that Derek was in that hospital. But, fate has a funny way of working out, Derek was there and single and still in love with Meredith. No surprise on that last one though. Loved her enough to follow her all the way back to Seattle and be a father to his children and take care of Meredith. I don't think I ever saw her so happy, save for the beginning of her internship.

They all needed a break, and it looked like they might have finally caught one. Meredith had Derek again, Halle knew where she got her hair and her eyes, and both girls had a father. They were finally going to get the white picket fences they all deserved, and now, this, I think as I step off the elevator and begin the final flight of stairs to the roof.

I shiver as I near the door; glad I stopped to pick up Halle's coat and an umbrella. Leave it to Shepherd's kid to be outside in the pouring rain without a coat. Must run in the family, Addison used to tell me about finding him up there in all sorts of weather, never with a coat on.

Pushing open the door, I see her small form huddled in a corner, her legs drawn up to her chest, her arms wrapped around, and her head resting on her knees. God, just looking at her breaks my heart. They all call me the Nazi, and for the most part, I live up to that name damn well, but this little girl, with the dark curls and blue eyes, somehow found herself a soft spot.

"Hey kiddo," I say once I reach her. She looks up at me, but says nothing. I smile at her, the fact that she's responsive is a good thing. However, just as quickly as she looked at me, she looks away and back out to the view of the city.

"My dad likes it out here." She says to me as I sit down next to her, water soaking me as I do.

"I know," I tell her, draping the coat over her shoulders and opening up the umbrella. "He comes up here to think sometimes, says he likes the view of the city. I think he's got a few too many rocks in his head…doesn't have enough sense to come in out of the rain." I say to her, hoping to get a smile.

I see the beginnings of a laugh, and I know she's going to make it. I take the umbrella in my left hand and wrap my right arm around her, pulling her close and holding the umbrella over both of us. Why, I'm not sure, because we're both already soaked.

We sit there for what seems like hours. I'm honestly not sure what to do to help her. I was livid with worry when it was Tucker, and nothing seemed to help me. But this, this is a little girl and her mother, and really, I have no idea what to say, so I'm content for now to just sit and hold her.

"My mom used to bring me up here to watch the sunrise." She said, breaking the silence.

I look at her, unaware that Meredith ever came up here.

"Mornings sometimes. Before early practices, when we would come in together at 4am, if she didn't have a surgery and could sneak away, she'd get me out of the on call room and we'd come up here together. Sometimes with breakfast, sometimes with just juice, and we'd just sit, and wait for the sun to rise. Sometimes we would talk, about school and gymnastics and stuff, and other times we'd just sit in the silence, enjoying each other's company. It was our time. No Hannah, no George, no Izzie, no TV or homework or practice or phone. Sometimes she got paged, but if we were lucky, we could spend the whole hour up here." She told me, a sad grin crossing her face. "Miranda?" she asks, a question in her voice.

"Yes?" I answer, my voice thick with emotion from her memory.

"Is my mom going to die? Because…because, I'm not ready for that yet. We just got a dad…I…I want a family." And with that, the dam was broken. Tears started to fall and I didn't think they were going to stop for some time. I didn't have an answer for her, and I didn't really think she expected one. I just pulled her closer to me and held her tighter while she cried. What in God's name did fate have against these people? Can't you just let them be?

I held her until the sobs no longer wracked her body, until she was pretty much spent from crying and half asleep against my side. It was then that I noticed her shivering.

"Halle?" I said, gently nudging her.

"That…that wasn't a dream, was it?" She says, turning her tear-stained face toward me.

"No baby girl, it wasn't. And I am so sorry. But, your mom is one strong woman," I tell her, tracing a tear line on her cheek with my finger.

"She must be," Halle responded. "She survived you."

"What…wait…was that a smile?" I ask her, earning myself a little laugh and small glimpse of the smile she got from her mother.

"Come on kiddo," I say, standing up and then reaching down for her, "What do you say we get out of the rain, get cleaned up, and get some hot cocoa."

"Then what?" she asks.

"Well, then we can do whatever you want to do. I can take you home, or you can go to my house, or you can sleep here."

"Ok." Was the only response I got.

"Ok." I respond, closing up the umbrella, we're soaked it's futile to try to stay dry now, and picking her up. As she rests her head on my shoulder, I hear her yawn and I know she'll be out before I get her downstairs.

I got Halle changed and into bed in an on call room and tracked down a few extra blankets so she didn't catch pneumonia. I sat down on the edge of her bed and just looked at her. She was such an angel and certainly didn't deserve half of what she had been through. God, I prayed, please keep watch over Meredith, Derek, and these kids. Don't tear apart this family. Let them have the white picket fences they deserve.

My pager beeped, so I gently kissed her forehead and walked out, pausing at the door to look at her once more. I had left my pager number next to the bed, with instructions to page me when she woke up, but hopefully someone would be back there before she did.

As I walk out of the room, I come face to face with Derek.

"What happened?" He asked, grabbing my hands, his voice laced with fear.

"I don't have a clue. I just put your child to bed." I tell him, "I'm soaking wet…" then looking at his hands, "Let go of me."

It's then he realizes whom he's dealing with and lets go.

"Come on," I say to him, guiding him toward the elevators, "The page said the chief's office."

We enter the chief's office and everyone else is already there, Yang, O'Malley, Dr. Burke, Chief, everyone but Izzie and Meredith. Izzie, I'm assuming is on baby-sitting duty and Grey, well, we all know where she is.

The chief is sitting in his chair, head resting on his hands. O'Malley is sitting on the meeting table and Yang leans against the back wall. I also notice Dr. Raynor among the group. Neuro…what is neuro doing here, I can't help but wonder. I look at Derek and realize he's doing the same thing. Burke takes a deep breath before beginning.

"Ok, you all know why we're here, and I have good news, and bad news. We were able to stop the internal bleeding. But we had to remove her spleen."

"But…" asked Yang. We all turned and looked at her, "You said there was a but…" she responded, defending herself.

"That's where I come in." began Dr. Raynor.

"The hell you do." Derek said from beside me, voice gruff with exhaustion and worry.

"Derek!" I yelled before he could get another word out, "Sit down and shut up. We all want to help her. And you two, going at it," I say, looking from him to Dr. Rayor and back to Derek, "isn't going to help us any."

"As I was saying," Dr. Rayor began again, talking to us like we weren't her family, and looking at Derek like he wasn't the father of her children and madly in love with her. Jack ass, I decided, and squeezed Derek's hand. I was relieved when he squeezed back. "She's clear for all head injuries. No bleeding anywhere. You," he said, looking at Derek, "can look at the scans when we leave here."

"I intend on it." Derek replied, eyes fixed on the man speaking.

"She only has a minor concussion, but, we can't get her to wake up, or respond to us in any way."

The room was quiet enough to hear a pin drop. So that's was the bad news, Meredith Grey, mother of two, who had just re-discovered love and was in the process of building a family, and on the forefront of a great career was in a coma of unknown cause.


	25. Halle 6

**Seattle 2017 - June**

I somehow manage to slip into the hospital and into the ICU without being noticed. Which, when you're the daughter of the head of neuro and you mother practically raised you in the hospital, is no small feat. I reach mom's private room and sigh in relief when I find it empty. Not that anyone would care that I was here, but I just want some alone time, without anyone knowing about it. That's why Will and I figured out the bus schedule and I jumped on it right after school.

As I reach her bedside, I realize I'm not sure what to say. I felt like there was a lot on my mind on the way over here, but now that I'm here, I'm at a loss. I feel like I never know what to say to her. Dad brings Hannah and I quite often, like every other day, so we can sit and talk to her. I usually just hang in the background, while Hannah talks her ear off. When Dad asks me if I want to talk to her or if I want time alone with her, I just shrug my shoulders and wander off for a while. I don't know why I've had such an issue talking to her, maybe because being here makes the whole thing real.

"Hi Mom," say, taking her hand. I pause for a moment, as if I expect a response. "Well, I guess I just get to talk…I had a meet yesterday, Pacific Northwest Regionals. And guess what Mom? I won, first overall and first on vault and beam. I know I wasn't sure if I was going to compete again, but…but Dad convinced me. Something about not letting fear win, so I did it. And it was so much fun. I just wish you could have been there. Dad was there and Hannah and George and Izzie and even Will. But, I missed you. I missed our pre-meet drinks and you braiding my hair, Beth's mom just doesn't do it the same.

We're…we're doing ok. School is good. They're talking about moving me up a grade again, but I'm not sure I want to. I took the bus here by myself today, I'm pretty sure Dad's gonna freak out, but…I needed to see you. Hannah is still playing piano she had a recital last weekend. Dad wants to teach me how to fly fish this summer, isn't that cool? Hannah has been sleeping in your bed. Dad sleeps in the guest room now, but he's doing better. He hasn't missed a school function or recital or meet or dinner yet. He's learning how to brush hair and wash clothes and cook. Man, he's a good cook…so much better than you," I tell her with a laugh.

"But, he misses you. I can tell. His eyes don't have the same sparkle they did when you guys were together. And I miss you too. And I'm sorry I haven't been here as much as I should, and I'm sorry that when I was here I didn't say much, but…I love you and please wake up so you can come home and we can be a family again."

Once I was done talking, I didn't know what else to do. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks, but I didn't care enough to wipe them. I'm sure Hannah and who ever is at the house right now are freaking out, and I'm guessing Dad is in surgery, because he's not here. I can tell by the pile of charts and coffee cups and half eaten lunch that he spends most of his time in here.

I look back at my mother and she just looks like she's sleeping, like she's been sleeping for two months. Because I'm not sure what else to do, I do what she did with me when I was in the hospital. I kick off my shoes, climb on the bed, and curl up next to her. Just the sound of her breathing and feeling the rise and fall of her chest under my head comforts me more than anything has these past two months.

I must have drifted off for quite sometime, I can see darkness flooding in from the window across the room. It takes me a minute to figure out why I woke up, right, fingers running through my hair. I breathe in, trying to memorize my mother's scent. I know I've been found out now, probably by Dad or Miranda, and it's going to be time to leave my resting place, but it was nice while it lasted.

I slowly push myself up, ready to face whoever is behind me, but I'm shocked to find the room empty. I look back down at my mom as I feel a hand run down my shoulder to my wrist.

"Mom?" I manage, lower lip trembling.

"Hi baby," she says, tears in her eyes.

"Mom!" I say again, before falling to her chest in tears. I feel her arms wrap around me, and a hand running through my hair as she just holds me and lets me cry.


	26. Derek 9

ok, a new one :) i had fun with this one...everyone always seems to write this from a meredith pov, so i decided to be different. enjoy! thank you for all the reviews! still dont own anything... 

**Venice, Italy 2018 – March**

"Enjoying yourself?" I ask Mer, coming up behind her on the balcony and slipping my arms around her slender waist.

"More than you know." She tells me, spinning around to face me.

"I love you." I tell her, lightly kissing her. It has been a little more than a year since I met my children and Meredith became part of my life again. It's been eleven months since Meredith woke up from her two-month coma and never looked back. We decided that night to talk it all out, and then let it go. And from that moment on, we have. I don't think I've ever been happier, and I don't think she has either. I love her and the girls so much. Just when I think I can't love them anymore, we start another day and I find a hundred new reasons to love them even more. It was a month ago, on Valentine's Day, that my girls turned eleven. It was the same day I gave Mer her Valentine's Day present, a week in Venice, just us.

"Go get dressed," I tell her, dropping a kiss on her forehead. "There's somewhere I want to take you."

"I can't go like this?" she asks innocently, gesturing to the sheet she has wrapped around her.

"Well," I say to her, "I wouldn't mind…but everyone else on the street might have something to say about it. And I'd be insanely jealous."

"Jealous, huh?" She says, leaning into me.

"Crazy jealous," I respond, sliding my hands inside the sheet and running them on her bare skin.

"Good." She says, looking up at me, eyes shinning. "Ok, shower time." She tells me, wiggling out from between the railing and me.

"Ugh…you're evil." I say to her, flashing a smile.

"I'll make up for it later." She tells me, giving me her infamous smirk before turning and heading into the bathroom.

I take a deep breath and walk over to my suitcase, knowing it's safe now, she'll be a while getting ready. I pull a small box out of the suitcase and open it. I've had the ring for two months now, and looking at it still takes my breath away. I look at it again now, platinum, one center stone, flanked by two heart shaped diamonds, the exact ring she designed years ago on the Internet, major points to Izzie for filling me in on that one. It's small, but it's perfectly Meredith. Anything bigger would have been more than she would have wanted.

I slip on my suit jacket and drop the ring box into my pocket and sit on the bed. I glance out the window, noticing we'll be right on time. I leave a note on the bed asking her to meet me in the lobby and leave to put my plan into action.

Nervously, more nervous than I ever thought I'd be, I take the elevator down to the lobby and pick up the rose I left with the concierge earlier. Then I sit and wait.

Ten minutes later, all the planning and all the nerves and all the sneaking become totally worth it as Meredith walks down the stairs to meet me. One look at her and I can't move, I can barely breathe. She took my breath away the night she came down the hospital stairs after prom and walked away with Finn, and eleven years later, she still takes my breath away walking towards me in the hotel.

I'm so transfixed by her that I don't notice the other heads in the hotel turning as she walks towards me. God, she's gorgeous, clad in a full-length evening gown, black, with a low V-neck, and a slit up the back. She let her hair hang loosely, which I noticed she does more often now that I've told her I love running my hands through it. It framed her face and flowed freely down her back. This is a memory I will hang onto for a long time.

"Ms. Grey," I say to her, handing her the rose. She smiles at me, I smile back, take her arm and lead her out the door. For a few minutes, we walk in silence, enjoying each other's company and the time we have alone.

"Where are we going?" She asks, breaking the silence.

"Just relax," I tell her. She just looks at me, eyes sparkling. God I love her. God I hope she says yes. I continue escorting her down the road to the stone path by the river.

"You look beautiful tonight," I tell her, pulling her in for a kiss.

"Thank you." She replies, kissing me again. "You don't look so bad yourself."

"Come on," I say, placing a hand in the small of her back, leading her a little further down to where I have a bottle of wine waiting. A few more steps, and we arrive in front of the wine and glasses I had set up earlier. I nod my head in thanks to the vendor I had keeping an eye on it for me.

"Derek, what the…" she asks, voice trailing off.

"Look this way," I say to her, while turning her to face the river and the gondolas, shining in the golden evening sun. "I couldn't find ferryboats in Venice, so gondolas will have to suffice." I say to her.

"Derek, it's…it's beautiful…" she gasped. I pulled the ring out and dropped down on one knee before she turned back around to face me. Once she did, there was a second gasp. I looked up and my eyes met grey ones, full of unshed tears.

I begin, just as the sun began its descent over the Venetian Canals, illuminating the sky and the water with magnificent colors, "Mer, will you marry me?" I ask, short, sweet, and simple. Because she already knows, she already knows I love her more than life itself and that I'd do anything for her.

"I love you." She says, joining me on the ground and throwing her arms around me. "I love you," she says again, kissing me.

"Is that a yes?" I ask her.

"God, that's a yes." She replies.

I take the ring out of the box and slide it on her finger, thrilled that it's the perfect fit.

"Is that…?" She starts to ask.

"Yes, it is," I tell her, "designed to your exact specifications. You should have seen the look on the jeweler's face when I asked him to make it."

"How did you…Izzie." She finishes, answering her own question.

"Yes, I had help." I tell her, kissing her again. As I pull back, I realize she's crying. "Mer?" I ask, running a hand through her hair and down her face, "What's wrong?"

"I…I thought this day would never come. Years ago, after prom, I used to dream about this day. And…and now it's here. And it's perfect. You're perfect. It's just all so surreal."

"It is." I say, agreeing with her. "Come here," I say to her, sitting down and settling her between my legs, so her back is resting against my chest. "Meredith Grey-Shepherd, your day is finally here, you get to ride off into the sunset and get the white picket fences you deserve."

"I…I think I want to be Meredith Shepherd." She says.

"Fair enough." I say to her, "Meredith Shepherd it is. Wine Dr. Shepherd?" I ask her.

"Why yes, Dr. Shepherd." She answers with a smile.

We sit, me holding her in my lap, for hours, just watching the gondolas and drinking wine. Occasionally talking, but generally just enjoying the moment and each other's company.

"I can't wait for you to be my wife," I tell her, kissing the back of her neck.

"I can't wait to be your wife," she replies, turning her head so our lips meet. As we kiss, my hands start to wander up and down her body.

"We…we should get back if we're going to continue this."

"If," she asks?

"Ok. Let me re-phrase, we should get back so we can continue this." I tell her, standing up, then reaching down to help her up.

My hand finds the small of her back and I lead her to the hotel. As we walk, I catch glimpses of her face in the streetlights, and she is absolutely glowing.

"I love you Mer." I tell her, pulling her close as we enter the elevator.

"This thing needs to move faster," she said, spinning around in my arms so we're face to face. One look at her, and I can't resist any longer, I drop my lips on to hers and kiss her in an elevator for the third time.

We're both so lost in the moment that we don't hear the elevator ding, alerting us that we've reached our floor. The sound of a man clearing his throat clues us in. I guide her out as we both turn beat red and share a laugh, not knowing when the third person had entered the elevator.

I slide the key in the door and open it, letting her walk past me into the room. Three steps in, she turns back toward me, mouth open.

"Just like I told you, flower petals and bubble bath and candles, because you are perfection." I watch in awe as she takes in the candle lit room, with flower petals trailing from the door to the bed and into the bathroom, where a bubble bath awaits her. She turns back to me and is in my arms before I know it and we're kissing. Nice and slow and perfect. I run my hands up the bare skin of her back and arms and feel her knees buckling. I catch her and hold her against me before carrying her to the bed. I set her down and silently began undressing her. Once she was down to her panties, little black panties, I undressed myself and climbed in next to her.

I kissed her again and as I did, I felt her hands dip below my waistband. I paused and took a deep breath in. It wasn't long before she had my boxers off and was straddling me. With one hand I pulled her down so our lips could meet while the other slid off her panties. I flipped her, so I was on top and I looked into her eyes. "I love you Meredith," I said, before slipping inside of her.

When it was done, we laid there, wrapped up in each other. My arm wrapped around her as she lay against my chest, my right hand tracing circles in her hair and on her face, her right hand holding my left. We lay there until we fell asleep, tangled in bed sheets and limbs and love, accepting the past, enjoying the present, and embracing the future, together.

"I love you Mer, and I can't wait to marry you." I say to her sleeping form before nodding off myself.


	27. Christina

A/N: ok, heres another one, takes place a few months after the last one. Its christinas pov, for those of you asking where she was.

Thank you for the reviews, you guys are wonderful.

Still don't own anything….

**Seattle 2019 – October**

"Do you think this is how they thought they'd be spending the night before their wedding?" I asked Izzie, referring to the rather rambunctious game of Monopoly going on in the other room.

"If you had asked them when they first met, no. If you asked them yesterday, yeah, they might have been pretty accurate. You know he's just waiting for the kids to go to sleep so he can take her upstairs and have his way with her."

"Ok, that, more than I needed to know. Too bad there's more planned for them than a quiet night at home."

"What time do the festivities begin?" She asked me.

"As soon as Derek's niece shows up to pick up Thing 1 and Thing 2."

"How'd you swing that one?"

"Two hundred bucks."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Damn, I might have done it for that kind of money."

"No, you'd have done it for free."

"Yeah, you have a point."

"Then we're bringing Mer back here, with McDreamy's sisters and Meg, Mer's friend from college. Burke's taking the guys back to our place."

"You mean you're breaking the two of them up all night? Good luck with that."

"They can't be together the night before their wedding, it's like a law or something."

"This is true." Izzie replies, "How'd you get the kids to keep quiet?"

"I may have bribed them…" I tell her, my voice trailing off.

"Bribed them how?"

"I may have told Halle she could watch open heart surgery from the gallery next week…and I might have told Hannah that you'd have cupcakes waiting everyday after school for a week."

"Christina! Meredith is going to kill you…I'm going to kill you."

"Aunt Izzie! Aunt Christina! I won!" Halle's cries interrupt our conversation about who is going to kill me first.

"Of course you did," I tell her, as she runs past me to Izzie, who scoops her up and swings her around.

"Me next!" Hannah cries as the doorbell rings, nearly trampling me as she runs to Izzie.

"Whoa, watch out munchkin." I tell her, on my way to answer the door.

Derek, however, has beaten me to the door. "Rachel?" He says, confused, "What are you doing here?"

"Kidnapping my cousins." She tells him, gesturing at me.

"Christina," says Meredith, coming up behind me, "what do you have up your sleeve?"

"Nothing you need to know right now." I tell her.

"Thing 1 and Thing 2," I yell to the girls, "Rachel's here! Time to go!"

"Rachel!" The girls both yell, running to the door to greet their cousin.

"Can we go swimming?" asks Halle.

"Can we go to the mall?" asks Hannah.

"Let's get out of here first," Derek's twenty year-old niece says to them.

"Ok," they reply, in unison again. Seriously, they're hilarious, as different as they are, they're still so much alike.

"Bye Aunt Christina," Halle says, hugging me. Reluctantly, I hug her back. Damn kid, still hugs me every time, even though I've told her countless times, I don't hug. She's making me soft, but at least she's cute. "Bye Aunt Izzie."

"Just a minute," Meredith says, putting her arm around Derek's shoulder. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Oh…right…" She says, as she goes back and hugs both parents.

Hannah does the same and says bye to Izzie and I as well, then they're out the door.

"They knew." Meredith says to me. I nod my head. "How on earth did you get them to keep quiet?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know." Izzie says to her.

"Christina!" Meredith yells to me as I retreat back to the kitchen.

"Get your coats, we're already late."

"Late for what?" she asks me.

"Your funeral," I respond, "You're getting married tomorrow, what do you think? Your bachelor/bachelorette party. Coats, car, now."

She looks at Derek and shrugs her shoulders as he hands her a coat.

Ten minutes later, we're walking into Joe's, where practically everyone we know is waiting. Leave it to Izzie to plan the social event of the year. Me, I just bribe the kids, I think, smiling as I walk over to Burke.

"You guys did good." He tells me, draping an arm over my shoulder.

"Thanks, we try."

"They look happy." He says, gesturing to Meredith and Derek.

"Yeah, about time too. I knew it was a good idea to have this party together," I tell him, watching Meredith and Derek circle the room together.

"Did you break the news to them that we're forcing them apart for the night?"

"And risk a quickie in the bathroom? I figured I'd wait until the alcohol had a chance to work its magic."

"That usually makes it worse." He replied, kissing my nose.

"Ugh…would you…" I say, shaking my head. "They'll get over it. They have a week in the Bahamas to romp all they want."

"I'd rather not think about my colleagues romping," he tells me.

"She's happy…" I say, looking at Meredith.

"She's getting married tomorrow, to the love of her life and the father of her children, she should be happy."

"But it's Meredith. She's never happy. Not that she shouldn't be, but it's…it's just weird."

"It's nice." He tells me, pulling me into him, despite the fact that I hate PDA's. "You playing DD tonight?" He asks, his hands coming to rest on my stomach.

"By default," I tell him, placing my hands over his and leaning into him. I lay my left hand next to his and admire our matching wedding bands. "Remember when that was us?"

"Oh…you mean the night you had the nervous breakdown?" He replies, referring to my own bachelorette party seven years ago.

"I can't believe it's been seven years."

"I can't believe we're going to be parents."

"You don't have to carry her around for six more months. Or pop her out…"

"So it's a her now?"

"It was always a her." I tell him, spinning around in his arms. Years ago, I wouldn't have done this, but now…now I don't care. I'm still Christina, cutthroat and ruthless, the one all the interns are afraid of, I'm just Christina Burke now. And I'm about to be a mother. Lord help us all, but I'm pretty sure if Mer can raise two, we can handle one.

"What do you say we get them out of here now?" Burke asks me.

Reluctantly, I take my hands off of his and look at my watch, "wow…yeah we should do that. Time flies when you're having fun."


	28. Hannah 3

A/N: Welcome back to 2032….and you all thought this would be the wedding….sorry, that was mean. But, the wedding should be up tomorrow…after my 16 mile run..blah….

This is a Hannah chapter. More about the baby…and other cute Hannah/Mer stuff. Came out better than I thought….enjoy!

Still don't own anything….well, Halle, Hannah, and Keith…

Thank you for all the reviews…I'm working on replying to them.

**Seattle 2032**

I take a deep breath as I walk into Seattle Grace Hospital for the first time in years. It's amazing how much I remember, despite being gone so long. It's almost like I grew up here, I think sarcastically, walking over to the elevators and pushing the up button.

"Hannah?"

Damn. Not only are the surroundings familiar to me, but unfortunately, I'm still familiar to them, even after all these years. So much for sneaking in unnoticed. I turn around and am face to face with none other than Aunt Izzie.

"Aunt Izzie? I…I thought you had your own practice…"

"And I thought you were in New York."

"Halle's wedding." I reply.

"Patient delivery…and a consult." She tells me, as we step into the elevator.

"Ahhh…" I tell her, leaning back against the cool wall of the elevator.

"So, what brings you here?"

"I'm actually looking for my mom. She around some place?"

"Surgery."

"Ahhh…" I reply, leaning back into the wall again. I had started to feel nauseas soon after breakfast, but had managed to keep it under control, until I got into the moving elevator that is.

"Hannah?" I hear Aunt Izzie ask, "You ok?"

"Yeah…yeah, I'm fine."

"Oh, you are so your mother's child."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask her, still fighting the battle with my stomach.

"She always said she was fine…but that was Meredith speak for something is really wrong, I just don't want to talk about it. And, Hannah, I've known you your entire life, something isn't right, I can tell."

"Really, everything is fine," I respond, wishing that were the case. However, just as I utter the words, the elevator lurches to a stop and I all but lose the battle right there. I run through the doors as they are opening and take off down the hall in search of the nearest restroom. I can hear Izzie yelling from behind me, but I can't stop to answer her.

I come up on the bathroom and rush in, barely enough time to get into a stall before my stomach empties its entire contents. I sit there for a few seconds, waiting for a second bout, and Izzie has reached me and is currently rubbing circles on my back.

"You are so not fine," she says, after a few seconds.

"I'm guessing saying it was something I ate won't cut it."

"Hannah," she says, putting her arm around me, "I'm a doctor, and not only a doctor, I'm an OB-GYN, you really can't fool me."

"Why do I feel like this conversation bares striking resemblance to the one we had when I ate all the cupcakes?"

"Because it does. You were throwing up, my cupcakes were gone, and I'm still Aunt Izzie and you still can't fool me."

"Oh but I can…do you want to guess how many times I snuck boys in my window."

Izzie held up the hand not on my shoulder, "that, that is where I draw the line."

"No sordid details?" I ask.

"Only the ones surrounding this baby."

"How did I know that was coming?"

"Come on," She says, standing up and extending her hands out, "Lets get out of the bathroom. I'll get you on an IV and we can talk."

"An IV?" I question.

"Yes, an IV. It combats dehydration, and you my dear, are most definitely dehydrated.

"Thanks, Izzie," I tell her, once I'm situated.

"Have you told your mom yet?" She asks.

"Nope. That's why I'm here. I told Halle, and she…she was wonderful. But, I really just want my mommy…" I laugh, "yep…at 25, I'm going to be a mommy, but all I want is my own. I'm a little afraid of telling dad though."

"He'll be thrilled. I wouldn't worry. He loves all of you so much, I'm sure he'll love grandchildren as well. So, tell me about the boy."

"He cute. He's a doctor…plastics, you'd like him."

"Hey, married woman here," she says, holding up her left hand.

"Yeah, yeah, it's not my fault you married the one they call Bambi." I joke with her, knowing that she and George are absolutely perfect for one another.

"Anyway," she says, writing my last comment off, "tell me more."

"He's blonde, and built and sweet and nice and way different than any other guy I've dated."

"Hannah, that's not necessarily a bad thing," she tells me, referring to my string of unsuitable boyfriends.

"This is true. He ran me over. On rollerblades. And then insisted that he take care of me, and the rest is history."

"How'd he take it?"

"Well. He…he wants to…define us. Be a part of things."

"And that scares you."

"It does, because that's not me. It never has been. Maybe it is…maybe not. I've always been…"

"Your mother."

"Yeah, from what I hear, I'm a lot like her. Tequila, random guy, one night stand, shower, gone."

"No, your mother," she says, pointing to the door as my mom steps through it.

"God I hate losing patients." She said, stepping through the door.

"Sorry Mer," Izzie said, looking from me to her.

"Hannah!" my mom exclaimed, rushing over to hug me. "You made it. It's so good to see you."

As she releases me and her sleeve gets caught on my IV, she realizes I'm hooked up to something.

"Oh God, sweetie, what happened?"

"I was a little dehydrated, so Aunt Izzie is fixing me up."

"Why are you a little dehydrated?" she asks, half as you-can't-fool-me-I'm-mom and half you-can't-fool-me-I'm-a-doctor, and at that point, I know I'm screwed.

"Umm…" I stutter, looking between her and Aunt Izzie.

"I'm gonna give you guys a few minutes," Izzie says, moving for the door, "Nice seeing you Hannah, and I'll see you both later."

"Something you want to tell me?" She asks, sitting down next to me.

"Well," I begin, "there's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to do it. And please…please don't think less of me or kick me out of the house for the week or something." I look up and our eyes meet, love and fear written in hers, thank God the woman has always been easy to read. "I…I…" I can't seem to get the words out. I know she's my mom and that she's still going to love me, but, it's still so hard. I feel her hand on my shoulder.

"Hannah, sweetie, whatever it is, you can tell me. I'm not going to love you any less."

"I'm pregnant." I finally tell her, biting my lip as I wait for her reaction.

I look her in the eye, for the first time in my life unable to judge her. Dad, he's a little harder to read, no, make that impossible. Well, unless you're mom. And lucky Halle, she's just as hard, if not harder to read than he is. I blame the deep blue eyes. Mom and I, were like open books, easy to read, and mostly, it sucks. But this, this is different, I can't gauge what she's thinking. Then again, maybe I'm paranoid.

Mom doesn't say anything, just pulls me into an even tighter hug. "Oh sweetie." She says as she pulls back after a few seconds. "How do you feel?"

"What?" I ask her.

"How do you feel?"

"That's it?"

"What did you expect? A beating?"

"No…yes…maybe…" I say with a small smile.

"Oh Hannah…you can tell me anything, you know that." She answers, wrapping her arm around me again.

"Yeah, I know…but you guys were so hard on Halle."

"Halle was twenty, one year out of medical school, and she didn't tell Will, and then she wouldn't talk to me. You're…wow, I can't believe you're twenty-five already. And Halle's getting married. And you're pregnant."

"I'm pregnant." I repeat, not sure if it's for her sake or mine.

"Have you told him…wait, Hannah, it's not…." Her voice trailing off.

"No, it's not tattooed ass guy." I tell her, my smirk matching hers.

"Or…"

"It's not pierced face guy either. Or pocket protector guy."

"Thank God. I still wonder what you were doing with him."

"Honestly," I tell her, "I was in it for the shock value. Come on, the past two Thanksgivings I had shown up with pierced face guy and tattooed ass guy. Pocket protector guy…he was...shock value. And really good…"

"Stop. Right there. I don't want to hear anymore."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. But I do want to hear about the new guy. Does he know?"

"Yes, I…I followed your advice, well, what would have been your advice had I told you before I left, but…I…I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for it to be real."

"Trust me sweetie, I understand." She says, running a hand through my golden hair, the color hers once was, before she went grey and dyed it eight million times. "I'm glad I could help you, even if I wasn't there."

"He's cute and sweet and blonde and build. You'd really like him."

"How did you meet?"

"Five months ago. I was running in the park and got taken out by a rollerblader. I didn't think they'd stop to help, or even notice for that matter, it is New York after all. But, he did. And he was cute. Really cute. And he's a doctor, a surgeon, you'd like him mom. And he insisted on taking me to get cleaned up. So we went to his apartment, gorgeous place, facing central park. He bandaged me up and I spent the day with him…wait, you don't want to know that part," I tell her, smirking. "So I spent the day and the night and well, I didn't really leave. Ever. I…I was…well, before this all happened…"

"You were falling in love," she finishes for me. "It's ok, sweetie, you're allowed. Scary stuff isn't it?"

I nod my head as I look back at her. God I love my mommy. "So, I…I knew I had to tell him. And I knew you'd tell me to do that, even if I wasn't ready to talk to you yet. I know…I know" I tread softly, cause I know the ten years mom spent alone with us can be a touchy subject. "I know not telling dad is probably your biggest regret, and I…I wanted him to know." I look back at her, and notice her eyes are full of tears. Blinking, I notice mine are too. She squeezes my hand, urging me to go on. "So, I told him. And…and he was wonderful. He…he still wants to be with me. He wants me to move in. He…he wants to be a family."

"And this scares you." She tells me, handing me a tissue.

"More than anything."

"What did you tell him?"

"That I needed some time. That I needed to get through the wedding first."

"How'd he take it?"

"He…he was wonderful. Seriously a Godsend. He wanted to come with me. Didn't want me to fly alone, or tell you guys alone, and I'm pretty sure he didn't want to sleep alone."

"You should have brought him."

"With my track record? Seriously? And being pregnant? One bombshell at a time, daddy is getting old you know. And it's Halle's wedding, I didn't want to steal her thunder."

"Since when?" she asks, I'm sure in response to my not wanting to steal Halle's thunder, God knows I've never had a problem with it in the past.

"Since I didn't know what I wanted to do about the whole situation until this morning. I…I wasn't sure…about keeping it." I tell her, afraid of her reaction.

She lies a reassuring hand on my thigh, "You're forgetting I was once in your shoes. Minus the cute McBoyfriend."

"Oh you did not just nickname him."

"Oh but I did."

"But, I thought about it a lot, and I know you did too. And I thought about when we were little and I saw the pictures on my desk, of me at the piano and you, Halle, and I at the zoo. And I decided I wanted to know. I wanted to know if this little one would like the zoo or the piano, and if it was a boy or a girl. And what we would laugh together about. I…I want to be a mom, a good mom, like you were. But, I…I'm not so sure I can."

I look up at her, again afraid of her reaction. As matching teary eyes meet, we embrace. "You will, you'll make a wonderful mother. I love you Hannah, so much, you don't even know."

"I do mommy, cause I love you so much too." And we sit in silence for a while, embracing each other, our past, and our future.

"Hannah?" she asks, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"What's his name? I feel like I know him already, but no name."

"Keith, Keith Sloan." I tell her and watch her jaw hit the floor. "What?" I ask in surprise.

"Keith Sloan as in Mark Sloan?" she questions.

"I think so, yeah, he said his dad is a surgeon too, head of plastics at another hospital in New York. But yeah, that's his name. I've never met him, or his step mom for that matter. Apparently they're perfect for each other, kind of like you and dad. And like you and dad, it took them a while to figure it out and get together."

"Your father," she tells me, "is going to have a stroke?"

"Cause I'm pregnant? We don't have to tell him. It can be a surprise in a couple of years."

"No, silly girl, he'll be thrilled about that. It's the name. Remember how your dad and I first met?"

"After his first wife cheated on him?"

"Right. It was Mark Sloan."

"Who was Mark Sloan? The guy Addison cheated with?"

"The one and only, McSteamy."

I laugh at this and she looks at me strangely. "Ok, the Mc, has got to stop. Cause when I first met Keith, I described him to my friends as the steamy guy who ran me over." I laugh again and this time she joins me.

"You're going to be just fine." She tells me as she stands up and extends her arms to help me up.

"I know, you did well mom," I reply, taking her hands and standing up.

She smiles at me as she puts an arm around me and leads me out of the room. I rest my head on her shoulder.

"And dad will be fine. He and Halle are fly-fishing. Which means two things, one,"

"We're having fish for dinner."

"And Halle will soften the blow for him." I finish, for once thankful for the close relationship Halle and my father have.


	29. meredith 6

A/N: i was going to post this last night, but the site wouldnt let me...ok, heres the one you've been waiting for….the wedding part 1. It's a little shorter, because I have it split in to two parts, one Derek and one Meredith. I still cant decide how I feel about it, but, its cute…I think.

Thank you again for all the reviews….im a little under the weather….so I will reply to them, just might take me a few days to catch up on everything.

I only own whats mine….and unfortunately, greys does not fall into that category….

**Seattle 2019 – October**

I looked at my reflection in the mirror with disbelief. For once in my life, when everyone told me I looked gorgeous, and I actually believe them. Meg and I had found the perfect dress one afternoon long after we had given up trying. It was a white floor length gown, made of satin, so there was a shimmer whenever the light hit it. It was the first strapless dress I had ever worn, I had always been against them, but Meg insisted I try this on, and after I did, well, we knew it was it. My favorite part of the dress was the lavender. There was a lavender band around the top and one around the bottom, adding just the right amount of color. Meg, Izzie, and Christina all wore floor-length strapless lavender gowns, and looked gorgeous, despite Christina's insistence that she looked like a cow. Hannah and Halle each had on smaller versions of my dress, but the coloring was reversed, so they were mainly lavender with white bands. I thought they looked beautiful as well, Hannah agreed but Halle thought she'd look better in a tux. Lavender had been the one thing Derek had insisted upon. He wanted it to be our wedding color because it reminded him of me.

My hair had been expertly put up this morning and I was amazed it held up so well. The stylist had put it all up in a curly bun, save for a few tendrils, which curled around my face. So far, this day had been everything I could ever want and more.

"Mer?" I look up and see Meg at the door of the bridal suite, "They just sat Derek's mother. The guys should be walking out soon. Are you ready?"

I look at my childhood friend and smile. "I was born ready." I tell her.

"I know babe. You lucked out. It's gorgeous out, sunny, warm, unheard of for Seattle. Especially in October."

"Thanks, mom." I say, looking up. Meg just squeezes my shoulder.

"She'd be proud, Mer."

"I know. But thank you, I needed to hear that."

"Mer!" Izzie exclaims as she and Christina enter the bridal suite, "You look amazing."

"The guys just went out, it's time to get married." Christina tells me, her voice lacking excitement, as if this happens everyday.

The four of us walk out together, arm in arm. For the longest time, I wanted a family, I wanted sisters, what I didn't realize, was that I already had them. And what I'd do without them, is beyond me.

"Mommy!" I hear Hannah yell from the back of the church as both she and Halle run to me.

"You look beautiful," Halle says as she hugs me. Hannah nods her head and joins the hug.

"Ladies?" Meg interrupts, they're ready for you."

I watch with a smile as my girls take their places at the front of the line. I watch as Halle begins her walk down the aisle. Carrying a smaller version of the bridesmaid's bouquet, as both she and Hannah informed me that at twelve, they were too old to be flower girls. She steps out into the sunshine with a big smile on her face and her eyes focused on her father I'm sure. I imagine her smile growing as she gets closer to the man who gave her the thick, wavy brown hair and shinny blue eyes. The man who became her hero the minute she met him in that hospital room two years ago.

I bite my lip to keep from crying as Hannah begins to follow Halle's path, long blonde hair swept up similar to mine. I watch her walk, tentative at first, but I imagine she'll loosen up once she gets closer to her father and sister. Her father, who she was afraid of at first, like she is with all new people, but quickly learned he's a pretty wonderful guy. He did of course, teach her that dimples could be cool and that playing outside isn't all bad.

I know there's a tear running down my cheek as Izzie steps outside. Izzie, I don't even know where to begin. She went from annoying housemate to friend to my right hand. She was there for me the day I found out I was pregnant and the day they were born and has been there everyday since, the miserable days without Derek and more recently, the happier days with him. I know that I would not have been able to get this far if it weren't for her.

Meg wipes the few tears that are falling down my cheeks without smudging my makeup as Christina follows Izzie outside. She's been my person since day one. I always had her back and she always had mine. She was the one who found out it was twins and had given them their first nicknames, Thing 1 and Thing 2…and now, she was going to have one of her own.

"Mer?" Meg's voice interrupts my thoughts. "I have to go. You going to be ok?"

"Yeah," I tell her, smiling through the tears.

"'kay, love you."

"Love you too." I say, as I watch my childhood friend disappear out the door. My Meg, who had been there for everything, the ups, the downs, elementary school, middle school, high school, college, med school, my internship, my mother, and all the drama that went along with them. If anyone knows me, it's her. She's the one who conspired with me when we were kids and comforted me when we were teens and held me together as adults.

As I stood alone at the back of the church, I realized that after all the waiting and hoping and praying and the day was finally here. It had been a little over two years since Halle had gotten injured and Derek had walked back into our lives. It had been a year and seven months since Derek had proposed at sunset in Venice, and yet, it felt like it was only yesterday. It has been less than twenty-four hours since I last saw him, and it feels like a lifetime.

I take a deep breath as I hear the music change for my entrance. I briefly reconsider my decision to do this alone, I know I could have asked my dad or Richard to give me away, both men are in the audience, but neither seemed fitting. After all I had been through, I felt like I had to take this final step alone. As I step out of my hiding place and into the aisle, my eyes meet Derek's and I realize that these are the last steps I will ever take alone. At that moment, the tears stop running, I hold my head high, and a smile crosses my face. It takes all I have to keep myself from running down the aisle to him. Gasps from the audience fall on my deaf ears as I walk down the aisle toward my McDreamy.


	30. Derek 10

A/N: not too sure how I feel about this one….but I hope you enjoy it.

Thank you for all the reviews…you make my day 

Still don't own anything…the song is Nickelback…Far Away…not sure how fitting it is, but im a big fan of it…

**Seattle 2019 - October**

'_I love you, I have loved you all along,_

_and I missed you, far away for far too long,_

_On my knees, I'll ask last chance for one last dance,_

_Cause with you, I'd withstand, all of hell to hold your hand,_

_I'd give it all, I'd give for us, I'd give anything, but I won't give up,_

_Because you know, you know, you know,_

_I love you, I have loved you all along,_

_And I missed you, far away for far too long,_

_I keep dreaming, you'll be with me, and you never know,_

_I'll stop breathing if I don't see you….._

'"_I love you," I had whispered in Mer's ear as we danced at the reception earlier. _

"_You know everyone's watching us," she replied, "and you don't dance in public."_

"_For you," I tell her, resting my forehead against hers, "I would do anything."_

_She smiles at me and places a light kiss on my lips. "We're married." _

"_We're married," I said back.'_

I didn't think it was possible to love someone this much, I think as I hold her tightly against me. After the whole incident with Addison, I didn't think I would ever love again. But then I met Meredith, and she wasn't some one I screwed to get over Addison, she wasn't a one night stand, she wasn't an intern I took advantage of, I was in love with her from day one. Since she gave me that smirk and kicked me out of her house. I struggle not to laugh at that memory, and risk waking her as I absentmindedly run my fingers through her hair.

And then, then Addison showed up and everything happened and I left and I thought I had lost her. But, life, life has a funny way of working itself out like that, getting you your white picket fences. Sometimes it just has a round-about way of doing so. But, I have to say, everything in our past, makes my love for Mer that much stronger, and treasure our future together that much more.

As I lie there, holding her as she sleeps, my mind once again wanders back to earlier in the day,

_Once Meg is in her place, my hands tighten around each other, because I know it is only a matter of time before she appears. My girls look gorgeous, despite Halle's hatred of the dress. Meg, Christina, and Izzie, all look wonderful in their dresses, Mer did a good job picking them out. But, who I really want to see, is the lady of the hour._

_The music changes and I lift my eyes to the end of the aisle. One look at her and I am completely breathless. I smile as Mer appears in a shimmery, strapless, white gown with lavender trim. She is beautiful and gorgeous and the picture of perfection. My breath hitches as she begins to walk towards me, it takes all I have in me not to run out and meet her half way. Our eyes meet, and I realized that everyone in the room is looking at her, but the only one she's looking at is me._

Meredith shifting in my arms breaks my thoughts. I look down and my eyes meet her soft, sleepy, eyes.

"Hi," She says.

"Hi," I answer her, dropping a kiss on her nose.

"How long was I out?" she asks.

"'bout an hour."

"Sorry…" she began, "it was a long day, and well, you just wore me out." She said with a smirk.

"You're gorgeous." I tell her, running a hand down her face. "And, don't be sorry. I love watching you sleep."

"What are you thinking about?" she asks, smiling up at me.

"You." I answer. "And how beautiful you were today, walking down the aisle to me. I never want to forget that feeling. And dancing with you, how you felt in my arms."

She pulled me down and kissed me, "I love you," she said.

"I love you too," I told her, picking up her left hand, and kissing her palm, just below the ring I had put there earlier.

"I…I have something for you." She told me nervously, climbing out of the bed. The shakiness in her voice makes me wonder what she is digging for in her suitcase. She crawls back into the bed with a photo album held against her bare chest.

She takes a deep breath before beginning again, "So I never thought this day would come," she starts, her eyes beginning to tear. I open my mouth to say something, but quickly close it as she continues. "Do you remember that fight we had? Right after you got here?" I nod my head, how could I forget the single fight that almost got her killed. "And we sat by the ferries, and made up?" I nod again, urging her to continue, curious as to where she's going with this. "You told me that you regretted never getting to see me pregnant? I…I…well, we can't go back, and I…I can't have another, as much as I want to, but…Izzie…well…." I look into her eyes again, the tears shinning before have begun to fall, I reach out and wipe them with my thumb. "I was so against this at the time," she tells me, "but now…now I'm glad she did." She finishes, placing the album on my lap and crawling back under the sheet with me. I put my arm around her and she curls into my side. Once she's settled, I open the album, totally not prepared for what I find.

The first page is dated July 2006, and titled first ultrasound. On the opposite page is Meredith leaning against her fridge, her pregnancy barely showing, in sweats and her Dartmouth T-shirt. She looked, so little, and so broken.

"That's the day I found out it was twins." She tells me, eyes brimming with tears again. "I fought Izzie over that picture," she says, referring to the shot of her in the kitchen. "She surprised me. I don't think I talked to her for a few hours. Until I was puking and she was holding my hair back…again."

I run my left hand down her shoulder, to her hand, taking a hold of it and squeezing. It's the only reassurance I can offer her, I don't trust my voice as I flip the page.

The next page is titled four months. Both pages are covered in pictures of Meredith, who was showing more now. Meredith at work, Meredith at Joe's, Meredith at home, all candids Izzie had taken. "Half of these I didn't even know about. When I opened the box a few months ago, I was so surprised. If I wasn't so happy, I might have killed her."

I run my hand over the photos. Oh God, how I wish I could have been there. Why was I so stupid? I think to myself as I turn the page. Five months. There's another ultrasound picture, both babies clearly visible, both clearly girls.

"That's the day I found out they were girls. And fraternal twins." I look at the other pictures on the page. More shots of Meredith, Izzie did good with this. Her pregnancy is very visible in these shots. My hand comes to rest on one where she's eating Chinese.

"You hate…"

"Hormones." She tells me. I just nod my head in response, again, not trusting my voice.

I flip through the next two months, more shots of Meredith. Getting bigger and bigger with each passing day. I stop at the page titled eight and a half months.

"I almost made it to nine," she says with a smirk, "almost."

One picture catches my eye, taken sometime after the babies had dropped lower on her stomach. She's lying on the couch in my shirt. "That's…"

"Your t-shirt." She finishes for me, "That's also the day I went into labor."

"Did you…"

"I refused to take it off. Hannah was born with it on. I'm pretty sure they cut it off before taking me to surgery for Halle."

I nod my head, tears forming in my eyes. She was wearing my shirt…after all that she kept part of me with her.

My hands shaking, I turn to the final page, entitled Day One. There's pictures of the girls, wrapped in blankets, with Izzie, with George, with Mer, who didn't look so sad and broken anymore.

"Their first day on earth." She tells me, looking at me with tear filled eyes. I was…beyond broken. I couldn't get past that I was alone, that…that you had left me. But then, then I became a mom. Seriously, one look at them and…and it all melted away. The girls, they became my life. They saved me." I look down once more before closing the book and putting it on the bedside table.

"Come here," I say to her, pulling her into a hug. "Thank you. I…I don't think you know what this meant."

She responds with a soft kiss.

"I love you," I tell her, looking into her eyes. "I'm sorry I wasn't there and I'm sorry I didn't call and I'm sorry you had to go through that alone."

"It's…It's in the past." She tells me, running a hand down my cheek, "and you're here now. And that's all that matters."

I slide down on the bed and pull her with me so we're both resting on pillows. "Do you know how much I love you?" I ask her, placing a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"Hopefully as much as I love you."

"That and so much more," I tell her, drawing her in and kissing her forehead and then her lips. As I roll her under me for the second time that night and we become one, I know I have found my forever.

"Good night my love," she tells me as we cuddle after, before drifting off into a peaceful sleep.

"Good night," I reply before I drift off as well, holding her close and intending not to let her go ever again.


	31. Halle 7

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to get this up. I seem to have come down with the latest office flu. Anyway, back to the future for a bit. The story is going to flip now, and going to be more heavily set in 2032, with snapshots going back to see what the girls go through growing up and how Derek and Meredith handle them. thank you for all the reviews...i am working on replying to them...i promise :) still dont own anything.

**Seattle 2032**

Family dinners have always been a constant in our home life. Sure, the players have changed over the years; it was mom, Hannah, George, Izzie, and myself when we were little, then the four of us minus George when he moved out, to dad joining us, and then a year later, Izzie left, but, dinners have always been there. It was our time to be together, to share our day, to be a family. Whatever type of family that was. Sometimes we weren't all there, mom was on call or dad was operating or Izzie had an emergency C-Section, but there was always someone there. And that really hasn't changed much since Hannah and I have left home. We leave, we come back for visits, we bring friends, boyfriends, soon to be children, but dinner, dinner is always there.

Tonight is no exception. Dad and I spent a wonderful afternoon fly-fishing. So we enjoyed an amazing meal of trout.

"Something wrong?" Dad asked, gesturing to Hannah's nearly full plate.

"No," she answered, "yes…maybe?"

"Ok," he replies, "That's what…three answers for the price of one."

"Something like that…" she says, her voice trailing off. I look at her as she looks from me to our mom and then back again.

"Why do I feel like I'm the only one in the room out of the loop?"

"Cause you are." I tell him, as Hannah shoots daggers at me, "You're the only man in a house full of women. You'll never be in the loop."

"Thanks Halle. Back to you," he says, looking again at Hannah.

I watch as she takes a deep breath and swallows hard. I feel her hand take a hold of mine, like she used to do when we were kids. I give her hand a squeeze back in reassurance. She looked at me again, and I looked back with raised eyebrows, urging her to go on…now or never, I silently tell her.

"I…I have a boyfriend." She begins.

"A boyfriend?" he responds, "Is that a good thing?"

"Yes." She responds, still squeezing my hand.

"Good." He tells her with a smile, "Hannah, why is it that you were so afraid to tell me? It's not another guy with a tattooed ass is it?"

She laughs, but it comes out forced, "No, daddy, it's not tattooed ass guy or pierced face guy or pocket protector guy. It's a new guy. You'd…you'd like him."

"Oh I would, would I?" he questioned lightly, a smile on his face, as if he was relived that his daughter may have finally found a suitable boyfriend.

"Yes, he's…he's a surgeon."

"Surgeons are good." He tells her, looking at mom, who's biting her lip. "Wait. There's something else. Something you're not telling me."

Hannah responds by biting her lip. Wow, I think to myself, she looks more like mom everyday.

"Hannah, whatever it is, you can tell me."

I look over at her, still chewing on her lip. I squeeze her hand again, attempting to give her the strength to continue.

"No anesthesia." I tell her, noting the look of confusion and alarm on dad's face.

"No anesthesia," she replies, squeezing my hand tighter and taking a breath before she continues. "I…he and I…we…I'm pregnant."

Once the words leave her mouth, the room falls silent. The four of us sit, three of us staring at the fourth, attempting to gauge his reaction. Like me, dad's hard to read. Really hard to read, but usually I can read him, genetics or something. But this time it's different. I think I've seen every emotion pass through his eyes in the past few minutes; anger, love, loss, are the three that come to mind first.

"I…I think I need to get some air," he finally said, quickly getting up from the table and heading out through the kitchen.

Mom, Hannah, and I sat in silence for a few minutes, none of us exactly sure what to say. I looked to my right and took in Hannah. She didn't look so much upset as she looked shocked. I squeezed her hand in reassurance, for once in my life, unable to find the right words to comfort her. I then looked across the table to my mom and out toward the back porch and then back to my mom again. She nodded her head in the direction of the kitchen, silently urging me to go after him. I pause in the doorway to the kitchen and turn around in time to see mom get up and move toward Hannah and Hannah do the same thing so they meet in the middle. Hannah immediately falls into her arms, and although I can't hear her crying, I have little doubt that she is.

I continue my journey through the kitchen, stopping at the fridge to grab two beers before heading out to the porch.

The click of the door causes my dad to pick his head up out of his hands and look up at me.

"Beer?" I ask, sitting down on the step next to him.

He accepts it and takes a long swig. I do the same before I start to speak. Thankful, that despite my hatred of beer, drinking and swallowing it buy me some time before I have to say anything. However, he beats me to it.

"You knew." He says.

"I knew." I tell him.

"About the boyfriend or the baby."

"Both…I guess. She told me about the boyfriend a while ago. I just found out about the baby this morning." He looked at me with eyes showing both hurt and confusion.

"You knew and didn't say anything?"

"I knew and didn't say anything." I look at him again, this time, his eyes are questioning. "I knew and didn't say anything because it wasn't my news to tell."

"Halle…" He starts, but his voice trails off as realizes I'm right.

"We're sisters…twins. We're going to have secrets, we're going to share things with each other, and there's bound to be stuff we don't tell you."

"Your mom knew."

"Mom knew. Hannah told her today." This time when I look at him, I only see hurt. "Dad, don't…don't hold it against her. She's…it's…it's a her and mom thing. Kind of like when it was me, it was a you and I thing." He nods his head, and for once I wish I knew what to say to make the hurt subside.

"So," I say to him after a few minutes of silence, "when you first met me, I bet you dreamed of one day sharing a beer on the back porch…in the rain."

"I like the rain."

"My ass."

"Language." He warns me.

"I'm 25."

"You'll always be my baby. You both will."

"That's why this is hard isn't it?"

He takes a sip of the beer before answering me, "it was only yesterday I brought you home from New York, wasn't it?"

"Sure, dad." I tell him, taking a long sip of my beer.

"You hate…"

"It was here…and you like beer. And we're talking. So I thought I'd have one."

"You know, for as much as everyone says you're like me, you have a lot of your mother in you. The amount of nights we used to sit outside the trailer, drinking beer, even though she didn't like it. She still drank it with me."

"Yeah, yeah…I get that all the time."

"Sure. She's the reason I like the rain." He said, smiling at the fond memory, "She'd run out in it when I had the trailer, and just sit there, getting soaked. Sometimes, I'd go after her, chase her until I had her in my arms. It was fun, having all that land and no one around, we could…"

"You know dad, there are some things I just don't want to know." I say, stopping him.

"You're such a gutter brain."

"You raised me."

"That I did…." He said, his voice trailing off.

"You did a good job. With both of us. We're going to be fine, you know that right?" He took another sip of his beer. "Hannah…Hannah's scared and she's trying to be strong, but she's going to need your support, whether she wants to admit it or not."

"She has it. She's always had it. And she always will. You both have."

"She needs to know that."

"I know. I just…I needed to breathe."

"I know. You do better after you breathe." I tell him, taking another sip of my beer.

"Hay…" He began, taking my hand.

"No, I...I didn't mean it like that. I was trying to say that you always seemed to know the right thing to say and when to say it and how to say it. I mean, let's face it, there were some rough times. But, you got me through it." I tell him, resting my head on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," he said, "I know you didn't come out here to relive the hardest moments of your life."

"It's ok." I tell him, "We got through them. Together."

"I was always going to be there for you baby. Always."

"I know that now. And I knew that then. Hannah needs to know that. She…she knows mom isn't going anywhere. But I think she's afraid she upset you."

"She didn't. Just shocked. I love her. I love all my girls. Nothing will ever change that."

"I know. You need to make sure she knows."

"I will." He says, wrapping an arm around me.

We sit there for what seems like an eternity, his arm around me and my head on his shoulder, sipping beer and watching the rain. We don't move or speak or do anything at all until the squeaking of the door causes us both to look up.

"Hi daddy," says Hannah, cautiously stepping toward us.

"I'm going to give you guys a few minutes," I say, rising from the steps.

"I love you baby girl," I hear dad call after me.

"I love you too," I say, and turn around in time to see Hannah sit down next to him and dad pull her so she's sitting with her head on his shoulder like I was. We're going to be fine, I tell myself, stepping inside and closing the door.


	32. Hannah 4

A/N: still don't own anything….

Thank you for all the reviews…they mean the world to me 

**Seattle 2032**

"Hi," I say, tentatively, after Halle had gone inside.

"Hey, sweetie," he says, "I...I didn't mean...I.." He begins.

"You were shocked."

"I was shocked."

"That shouldn't be a surprise coming from me, really, I mean, I was

always the shocker, right, the disapointment? Pink hair, green hair,

guys with tatoos and piercings and pocket protectors...it was always

about the shock. It's...it's not like that this time.

Before...before all this happened, I...I, we...he...he was perfect.

He took me to dinner, he rubbed my feet, he made me breakfast in

bed..." I tell him, my voice trailing off. "He...he made me happy.

And I...I was falling in love."

"I'm not mad." He begins. "Hannah," He says squeezing my hand, "You

are a bright, beautiful young woman, and all I want is for you to be

happy. And if this new boyfriend and the baby make you happy,

then...then I'm happy for you."

"Seriously? Seriously? You're not the least bit upset by the fact

that in nine months you're going to be a grandpa?"

"God, you make me feel old. But seriously, no, not upset because I'm

going to be a grandpa," I notice the difficulty he has getting that

word out, and almost laugh, "It's just that...you're my little girl.

And I don't think I'll ever be ready to admit you're old enough to

have one of your own. It seems like only yesterday I was grounding

you for dying your hair some outrageous color."

"Orange. It was orange the first time. Then it was pink and then

green. And then you guys gave up."

"We never gave up on you, Hannah. We just chose our battles. Pink

hair, green hair, orange hair, you graduated at the top of your class

and then went on to Columbia and again graduated at the top of your

class. In the grand scheme of things, the color of your hair didn't

matter."

"And Halle was normal. So long as one Shepherd kid was normal, it

didn't matter if the other was a screw up. I graduated at the top of my class cause perfect Halle skipped a grade…and still graduated at the top of her class." I say to him, looking at the ground.

"Hannah," he says, lifting my chin so our eyes meet. "You were not a

screw up and Halle was hardly perfect."

"No, but she was about as innocent as you thought. Really, I would

know...except for those few times you guys caught her. She was always

bad at sneaking around."

"Hannah. Stop comparing yourself to your sister. I love you. We all

do, love you. And are proud of you. Look at you, you went to a great

school, you have a good job, you're making it on your own in Manhattan

of all places. You're a wonderful person, you're kind and caring, and

the last thing that comes to mind when I think of you is

disappointment."

It's at that moment, I notice I'm crying as does my dad. "Damn

pregnancy hormones." I say as he reaches out and wipes the tears with

his hand.

"Get used to it." He tells me. "You've got nine months to enjoy them."

"Don't you mean he has nine months to enjoy them?" I ask, and finally,

we share a laugh.

"When do I get to meet him?"

"Huh?"

"Meet him. You know, we all go to the same place, you bring him, you

say dad, this is my boyfriend...wait...does he have a name? I would

love to know the name of the person making you happier than I've seen

you in a long time."

"Yeah...that's the other thing."

"What other thing?"

"His name...and actually, I didn't know anything about the significance until I talked to mom...so really, you can't hate me...or want to kill me...or...or just remember a few minutes ago when you were convincing me that I'm a good person and you're proud of me...and that despite how big the world is, it really is a small place...a very small place...and maybe, maybe someday we can all look back on this and laugh."

"Hannah," he says, placing a hand on mine, "you're rambling."

"I'm cute when I ramble."

"Sweetie, I love you...I love all my girls...and you always have my support. Nothing...nothing you could tell me will ever change that."

I take a deep breath, knowing that what I'm about to tell him will change our relationship forever. "His name is Keith." Dad nods his head in response. "Keith, Keith Sloan."

I look at him, trying to gauge his reaction. I can't tell if he's going to kill me or if this is something we can get past, or if I've permanently put a rift in our relationship. His eyes are fixed out into the yard, as if there was something out there to watch, but I know there's nothing. We sit for a few seconds in silence before I realize he's holding his breath.

"Breathe," I tell him, "daddy, breathe."

"I...I..."

"It's the shock right?"

"I...I love you Hannah. You know that, right?"

"Yes, daddy."

"Ok...I...I need to breathe. I need to...to let this settle. Can you...can you give me a few minutes? Maybe find your mother?"

"Of...of course." I tell him, getting up and walking towards the back door.

"Hannah," he calls after me. I say nothing, but turn around to face him. "I love you," he tells me as our eyes meet.

"I know..." I reply, "I love you too."

I walk back in the house in search of my mom and my sister. I'm not really sure how I feel at the moment. Talking to dad wasn't easy, it never has been, and it...it went better than I thought? Maybe, he didn't kill me, yet. And mom will calm him down. Or they'll get arrested for indecent exposure. I almost chuckle at that thought. I find both ladies in the living room chatting over tea. Both rise and are at my side before I cross the threshold of the room.

"I...I told him everything." I say.

"And you're still standing." Halle jokes.

"Yeah...yeah I am."

"Halle..." says mom, using her mom voice to say, maybe this isn't the time to be joking. "Sweetie, are you ok?"

"I'm...I'm I don't know. He wanted a few minutes. And actually, he wants you. Asked me to come find you. And you," I say, looking at my sister, "have a date at Joe's with me."

After I say those words, my mother looks at me alarmed. "I am not going to drink." I tell her. "I just need to get away for a while. You know," I tell her.

"I know," She says softly, before heading out toward the kitchen and her soul mate.

"Come on babe." I say, grabbing Halle's hands and pulling her towards the front door.

"I...Will...we..."

"He can meet us there. You can get drunk and bring him back and have drunk sex later, right now, I need you to be my person. And even if I can't drink, we can still go to the bar."

"Yes mother...and please don't mention Will and I having drunk sex in mom and dad's house."

"Nothing you haven't done before," I tell her, as she sticks her tongue out at me before I push her out the door.


	33. Joe

A/N: ok...sorry this took so long to get up. I was going to post it earlier, but then I ended up at the a's game….it is really long...well, at least it seems that way. im not sure how i feel about this one...i wasnt and rewrote it so many times...and im still not sure, but i need to move on with this, so here goes nothing...i think i just picked a hard character...who writes from the pov of joe? apparently i do...

anyway, i am working on replying to your reviews...god knows i love 'em

i still dont own anything...

happy season premier :) :) :)

**Seattle 2032**

It seemed fitting that 'Rock the Casbar' would be playing when the products of Seattle Grace's infamous love triangle walk into my bar. Well, I use the term walk loosely, the blonde twin stalks in, dragging her brunette sister behind. As they approach I blindly grab under the bar for a bottle of Tequila and a bottle of Vodka. I'm used to everyone coming to me with their Days of Our Lives drama, so I can't help but wonder what exactly has brought the Shepherd twins here in such a hurry, judging by their entrance, I feel like it's going to be a night heavy on the Tequila.

"Hi Joe." Both girls say at the same time as they climb on to bar stools in front of me.

"Hi ladies," I say to them, while flipping two shot glasses down in front of them. "Vodka?" I question, looking at Halle, "And Tequila?" I say to Hannah.

"God yes." Halle replies, "Do you even have to ask?"

"Good. Just wanted to make sure you didn't pick up any crazy drinking habits in San Francisco." I tell her.

"Never. It's always Vodka...straight up." she tells me, laughing.

It's good to see her smile, hell, it's good to see any of them smile.

As my attention turns to the other sister, I notice she hasn't touched her shot, and can tell we're going to be in for a long night. "New York change your taste?" I ask her, but some how know there's more to it than that.

"Not in the slightest. I'd drink you out of Tequila if I could." She answers. "But, I can't, so this one is all you." she says, handing the shot back to me.

"If you could." I reply, now pretty sure where this is headed.

"I just told my dad he's going to be a grandpa." She mutters as I attempt to take the shot.

"You couldn't have waited until I had that down?" I ask her as I wipe the liquor off my face. "Ever had tequila come out your nose?"

"Once," she replies sadly, "hurts like a bitch doesn't it?" she adds, giving me the smirk she shares with her mother. "Can I get some water?"

I just look at her with a smile and hand her the water. She' such a pretty girl, but looks more often than not, lost.

"And that's not even the best part." She tells me, then holding back.

I look from her to her sister, neither of them speaking.

"You know you can tell me." I say to her. "In fact, you should tell me, I'll find out eventually. I'm a bartender, people get drunk and they tell me things."

"Don't I know it." She responds, knowing she's spent more than one drunken evening pouring her soul out to me.

"I bet, that after a few more rounds, this one," gesturing to Halle, "will spill the beans."

Hannah looked at Halle daring her to speak.

"I'd deny it, but we both know, I get drunk and I talk. Not that I don't talk too much as it is, but the alcohol just magnifies it."

The three of us just look at each other and laugh, cause we know it's true.

"Hey baby," says Will, coming up behind Halle and wrapping her in his arms. "Hey Hannah, Hey Joe."

"Hey Will." I say to him, "Long time, no see. What'll it be?"

"Whatever's on tap. Just one. Someone has to get this lovely lady home." He says, hugging Halle.

"Good to see San Francisco hasn't changed your tastes either." I tell him, handing him the beer with a smile.

"Not in the slightest." He replies, "Darts?" He asks Halle.

"Sure." She says.

"Just don't hit anything...or anyone this time," I tell her as I hand

Will the darts.

"I'm surprised you gave them to her after last time," Hannah tells me as Halle and Will make their way to the dart board.

"Well, it was a relative she hit..." I say, my voice trailing off, "Who might have also been a little drunk and standing a little too close to the dart board."

"Ha...and I supose I did dare her to hit me. I didn't think her aim would be that good as drunk as she was. Good thing the hospital is right across the street and both of our parents are good with stitches.

"So, again, the fact that you told your dad he was going to be a grandpa wasn't the worst part of your evening?"

"Nope. The worst part, was telling him that the father is Keith Sloan. Son of Mark Sloan, dad's ex-best friend, you know the one his first wife cheated on him with. I have officially entered the seventh circle of hell."

Yep, going to be a long night...and one that I'm pretty sure will rival Meredith's long nights.

"Yes dear, I'm well aware. You're forgetting that I lived through that...love triangle...love...what has four points?"

"A square?" she answers. "You can't have a love square...it...it doesn't make sense. Maybe two triangles...maybe...screw it...I don't know. There's a reason I failed geometry."

"You did not fail geometry," I tell her, laughing. "Do you want to talk about it?" I ask her on a more serious note.

"If I didn't, I'd be over there with Romeo and Juliette, trying to get hit with another dart. Wait...maybe that's what I should be doing..." She says, and motions to get up. I place my hand over top of hers before she can.

"That's not the solution, and you know it."

"Yeah, yeah," she replies, making herself comfortable for a long chat.

"And I'm totally living the Romeo and Juliette story, not her."

"You said it, not me." I tell her. She just smirks at me again.

"So..." I say to her, voice trailing off, waiting for her to begin.

When she doesn't, I realize I'm going to have to pry a little harder.

"How did he take it?"

"Good...bad...I don't know...He...he told me he loved me and he always would...and that he needed a minute. And then he asked me to go get my mom. So...I don't know, I mean, I'm still standing and he didn't turn five shades of purple, so I guess that's a good thing. But...but I don't know. I...I feel like once again, I'm the big let down. And the thing is, before I told him, he had just gotten done telling me how proud he was...and how much I had accomplished in life. God, I was...waiting years to hear that...and then I dropped a bombshell...and once again, I'm the screw up."

"Hannah," I begin, realizing she hasn't changed at all since I first met her, "Your parents have always been proud of you. Trust me. I was here, when they sat there," I say, gesturing to a booth across the bar, "And talked about your piano recital they had just come from, and how great you had played. And I was here when they sat a few stools over from where you are now and discussed your hair dying habits. When they decided that the color of your hair didn't matter, the fact that you were a stellar student, amazing piano player, and kind person did. And, it's always been that way. I know that he doesn't always tell you as much as you need to hear it, but he has always been proud of you and has always loved you." I look at her, and she seems to be hearing what I'm saying, but I've yet to figure out if any of it is getting through.

"Just give him some time, babe, let him talk to your mom, you said yourself he was shocked. He'll vent to her, she'll calm him down, and he'll realize all that matters is that you are happy."

"Or, he'll think he's ok, and want to meet them, and then it will be an all out brawl."

"That already happened once, but that one, that one was over your mother."

"What!"

"Mark showed up at the hospital, shortly after Addison, your dad's first wife. Your dad caught him talking to your mom, and 30 seconds later, he was on the ground bleeding."

"And mom and dad weren't even together at the time. Thanks, Joe, I really needed to hear that one. Perhaps we should just take after Romeo and Juliette." She finishes, looking at me. I return her look with a stern glare. "or maybe not. Bonnie and Clyde perhaps?"

"You want a life of crime? Then he really might kill you."

"You know what?" She says, as if a lightbulb went off in her head.

"What?"

"I blame my mother."

"You blame your mother?"

"The whole sleeping with inappropriate men. That's where it comes from. If she hadn't, well, I wouldn't have ever had the opportunity." She tells me, now sounding more like her sarcastic self. "Sorry, I know it's not her fault...right now, it's just easier to blame someone else."

"Hey, if passing the blame were a crime, we'd all be guilty." I tell her.

"Yeah...but really, it's no one's fault. Maybe some greater being...like fate or karma or something. Granted, I'm still trying to figure out what I did to get such bad karma."

"Pocket protector guy." I answer, thinking a few Thanksgivings back when Hannah and her latest date happened into my bar to escape the holiday festivities at the Shepherd house.

"I'm never going to live that one down am I?"

"Probably not..."

"Maybe it's someone else's bad karma. Maybe it's my dad...karma's trying to bite him in the ass, by bringing his ex-best friend back into his life...by making him his inlaw..."

She stops abruptly with that, as if she doesn't believe she just said that out loud.

"It's ok." I tell her, "happens all the time." She smiles uneasily, and I can tell its not me she's upset over

admitting that to, but herself.

"Or maybe it's really good karma, and the right person has finally

walked into your life. Cause God knows, five months ago, the right

girl fell into mine."

I watch in earnest as her jaw drops and she slowly turns around to

face the newcomer.

"Keith! Keith, what are you doing here?"

Ahhh, so this is the man of the hour, the one that Hannah has talked my ear off about for the past two hours, and the one I'm sure I'll hear of again from both Derek and Meredith. I pause for a moment and take him in, dead ringer for his father at 25 I'd imagine.

"I could ask the same thing of you," he said to her, pick up her glass to examine it's contents.

"It's water." She says, "Joe here takes good care of me."

"So you're the Joe I hear about everytime I take this girl out in New

York." He said, extending his hand, "Keith Sloan."

I take his hand and shake it, "So, I'm famous am I?" I ask, looking from Keith to Hannah and back again.

"Yep," she says, "I haven't found a better bartender."

"And I hear about it...everytime we go out." he says, feigning hurt and wrapping Hannah into a hug. I watch him place a gentle kiss to her lips, and think that after all the wrong ones, she might have actually found the right guy.

Their lips had barely touched when he pulled away. "I...I'm sorry.

I...I know you wanted some space to figure things out. But I..."

"It's fine." She said, laying a hand on his chest. "You still never told me what you were doing here."

"Here as in, in this bar? Escaping my father and stepmom. Here as in

Seattle? Dad's on a case...stepmom tagged along...I figured I'd do the same. I...I really wanted to see you. I was hoping you'd want to see me too."

"I...I did. I...I want this. Us. I mean, I've been happier than I've ever been these past months. I really can't remember me before...us. That is, if there is an us."

"Hannah, I just flew across the country hoping you'd see me. I wasn't looking for any sort of commitment. Even though God knows I want it. I've wanted it since I met you. So yes, Hannah Shepherd, there is an us, if you'll have me."

"Of course I will," She said, tears in her eyes as she leaned in to kiss him. They continued to kiss as Halle wanders up behind them and clears her throat.

"Oops..." Hannah muttered.

"You are so caught. You're a bad sneaker..." The brunette told the blonde.

"So I am. Keith, I'd like you to meet my very drunk twin, Halle.

Halle, this is Keith."

To Keith, Halle said, "Hi, nice to finally meet you." To Hannah, she said, "Looks like I won't be the only one having sex under mom and dad's roof tonight."

"Oh, I am so going home with him." Hannah replied.

"Wise decision." I tell her.

"Although, if I took him home with me, it would guarantee an awkward meeting..."

"Alright, you ready to get out of here?" Will asked, coming up behind Halle and putting his arms around her.

"Am I ever." She replies, spinning around in his arms and kissing him, rather hard. "Sorry," she says to the rest of us as she pulls away.

"Nothing to be sorry for." I tell her.

"Oh...I'm sorry," said Hannah, "Mr. Tall, Dark, and Hansome over here is Will, Halle's finace."

"Keith Sloan," he said, extending his hand once again.

"Congratulations," he said, as Will shook his hand.

"You too." Will replied.

Hannah looked at Halle with a stern look. "What? I had to tell someone. And in a week, he'll be family."

"It's fine. I'm...excited."

"Good." I tell her. "You should be."

"Ok. We're going to head home." Will tells the other two as he wraps his arm around Halle. "Good to see you Joe." He tells me, handing me back the darts.

"I didn't hit anyone this time." Halle smiles at me triumphantly as Will places his hand in the small of her back and leads her out.

I notice Keith looking at Hannah inquiringly. "Don't ask." She tells him.

"Fair enough," he replies, wrapping an arm around her. "So, would this be a good time to tell you that my parents want to meet yours while they're here?"

Hannah looks at me, biting her lip to keep from laughing or crying...I'm not sure which.

"There is never a good time to tell me that." She says looking at him. "You don't know the story of our parents do you?"

"There's a story?"

"Yes, yes there is." I tell him.

"You know the story?" Keith asks me.

"No, I don't know the story...I lived the story. Crazy love triangle...rectangle...Days of Our Lives meets Jerry Springer..."

"I'm almost afraid to ask." He replies.

"So don't." Hannah steps in, "Take me some place. Let's forget about that tonight...and I'll tell you the long, sordid tale when you take me to brunch tomorrow."

"I'm taking you to brunch tomorrow?" He asks.

"If you're a gentleman you are." Hannah replies, sticking her tongue out at him and standing up.

"Your wish is my command." He says, throwing a few bills on the bar.

"Later, Joe," Hannah calls to me as they begin to walk out.

"Nice to meet you." Keith says, as he places his hand in the small of her back and leads her out.

I smile as I think of the Shepherd women and how after all they go through, they still seem to end up with their white picket fences. Granted, it's a long, hard road, but they get there...somehow...they all get there.

After the girls and their men had left, I spend time tidding up and getting ready for the next day. I watch Jim and Rachel tend the bar...God, what a difference a couple of extra hands make. As I'm rinsing out a few dishes, I hear the bells above the door ring, signaling someone's entrance. I look up to see whom the cat dragged in at this hour, perhaps the elder Shepherds?

However, my jaw about hit the floor when I saw the two people that walked in.

I'm frozen behind the bar as I watch none other than McSteamy and a very familiar red head slide into a booth in the back. It's at that moment I realize that once the children of my infamous patrons are old enough to frequent my bar, that I'm too old for this. But I also realize, thinking back to the kids earlier, the McSteamy's now...and I'm sure the McDreamy's later, I'd miss the drama. The Days of Our Lives meets Jerry Springer daily occurances. And round two, McDreamy vs. McSteamy...God help me, am I really talking like this again?


	34. Derek 11

A/N: ok, this one goes back to the past, the twins are 16. italicized words are flashbacks. ummm...whatelse...this was hard to write, im still not so sure im satisfied with it, but it's time to step away. anyway, it explains a little of what halle has been eluding to in her talks with her sister and her father.

anyone else love the season premier? so cant wait for next week :)

still dont own anything...

and the site is having issues, i know i have at least one review saying that the update alert isnt working...neither is the review alert, so theyre piling up...im so sorry, and i will get back to you...your reviews make my day :)

and without further adiou...

**Seattle 2023 **

"I hope you're not thinking of jumping." I call to her as I step on to the roof.

"No." She tells me, very flatly, without turning around to face me. "I wouldn't make your life that easy."

Her comment catches me off guard, and I can't help but wonder what happened, where I went wrong. I know she's hurting, beyond the little bit of whiplash and scare from the car accident, but for the first time, I'm not sure I know how to help her.

"If you're here to yell at me, save it." Halle's voice interrupts my thoguhts. "I've had about all I take of you for the rest of my life in the past hour and a half. And this is my spot."

"If you want to be technical, this spot was mine well before it was yours," I tell her, trying to joke. I can tell it's not going to work when she still doesn't turn to face me. "And I'm not here to yell," I tell her quietly as I walk closer. The more I think about our exchange earlier, the more my heart breaks over it.

_"Dr. Shepherd?" Shirley calls, hanging up the phone. _

_"Yes, Shirley, I am inside this man's brain. What is so important that it can't wait." _

_"Dr. Raynor is coming to finish for you. It's your kids." _

_"Did they burn the house down? I can call them in an hour when I'm done. Maybe page Mer? She might be out of surgery." _

_"They did. She's scrubbing out as we speak." I look to the scrub room, and sure enough, Meredith is scrubbing her hands furiously fast, she looks up, our eyes meet, and I see tears slip out of hers. _

_"Shirley, what the hell is going on?" _

_"It's you daughters, Sir. They're here. In the ER. There was a car accident..." It's a good thing Dr. Raynor walked through the door at that moment and grabbed the scalpel before it fell out of my hand. _

_I remember mutter thank you to him, and him telling me it was no problem, just to go. As I reach Mer in the scrub room, I can only recall one other time I was this worried. _

_"They're fine." She tells me as I embrace her. _

_"I hope so." _

_"No, really, they're fine. Apparently didn't want to come here. Maybe whiplash. Halle totaled her car." She rambled. _

_"But she's ok?" I ask, as we walk down the hall toward the elevators. I place my hand in the small of her back and guide her in. _

_"She's still breathing, but...Derek...she's...she's tiny. Really tiny. And...I'm afraid for her." She chokes out before she curls into my shoulder and starts to cry. _

_Instinctively, my arms wrap around her, pulling her close. "She will be fine. We'll...we'll find a way to help her." I say reassuringly, only wishing that convincing myself was half as easy as convincing Mer. _

_"Hannah is in curtain 3, Halle is in exam 4," she says to me as we step off the elevator, "Which do you want?" _

_"I'll take exam 4, everything is going to be fine." I say, kissing her softly before heading down the hall to the left. _

The cold wind pulls me out of my thoughts, I wrap my free arm around myself a little more tightly, and attempt to savor the warmth from the dish of lazagna I brought with me. I take in the sight of my baby girl in front of me. Her back is still to me, but I can tell by her shudders that she's crying. I want nothing more than to go to her, wrap my arms around her, and protect her from the world. But, right now, I know I can't do that, she'll only pull away. Since when am I unable to talk to my daughter? And how I long to have back the days when a hug and a cookie could solve anything.

_"I'm fine." Halle says as I enter the room. I pause for a moment and just look at her. Despite her hard ass attitude, she looks...tiny. Tiny and frail and scared. The hospital gown she is wearing dwarfs her to the point that it has slipped off her shoulder, leaving a tiny, bony, shoulder exposed. God, how did I not know it was this bad earlier. I mean, we knew. And we...we thought we were trying. Apparently not hard enough...Mer's right, this is bad. _

_"I'll be the judge of that," I tell her, going into doctor mode and pulling out my light pen. "Can you follow this with your eyes?" _

_"Yes. I can. And I didn't hit my head. Or anything else. It's not my fault some psycho crashed into the back of us...and sent us into the car in front of us." But, she gives up the tough as nails act, and obliges to my light game. Once I'm convinced that she is infact, fine, I sit down next to her. _

_"You want to talk about it?" _

_"About what? Getting smashed? The fact that you're furious I totaled the car?" _

_"Baby," I being, draping an arm around her lower back, trying not to flinch as my hand runs over her very prominent backbone. "I'm not mad about the car." _

_"You're not?" she says, her voice thick with emotion, whether it's anger or sadness or both, I can't tell. _

_"No, I'm worried about you." _

_"I told you I'm fine." _

_"Halle, I know you. You're not fine." I say to her as our eyes meet. "How much do you weigh?" _

_"Excuse me?" _

_"You heard me." _

_"This has absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that I crashed the car." _

_"I asked you a question. You can answer me, or I can get your chart, I'm sure it's on there." _

_"I don't know," she answers. _

_"Wrong answer." _

_"100." _

_"Try again." I tell her, but she stays silent. "Fine, we can play hardball." I say, grabbing the chart from the end of the bed. I almost fall over when my eyes fall on the weight column, 90 pounds. And I'd bet she lied to the ER intern who took her history. She's always been tiny, about five feet tall, but this, this is bad. "Here's the deal," I begin. "I'm going to get your car fixed." _

_"Really? Just like that? You're not going to yell?" She says, sounding shocked. _

_"Oh, this isn't over." I say, picking up her keys off the table, "I'm going to fix the car, but you, you will weigh at least 100 pounds before you will sit in it again." _

_"What! Seriously! You have got to be kidding. You're joking, right. I'm fine." She says, rambling and nervous. _

_"Yes, seriously. I'm not kidding or joking. And, you're not fine. At all. Look at yourself, your bones are sticking out of your skin. 100 pounds or no car. End of story." _

_"Then Hannah can drive." _

_"No, she can't. Not with you. You will ride with me or your mother. That's it." _

_"You're not being fair." _

_"Halle, you totaled your car. You could have killed yourself or your sister, or both of you. And really, you are slowly killing yourself," I begin, getting and sounding more angry than I mean to."You want to get back in your car? Then you will be healthy. Cause I don't want the next phone call to be the morgue telling me I have to identify a body." _

_"I hate you." She muttered. _

_"What was that?" I ask, knowing what she said, but wanting her to be aware that I heard her. _

_"I HATE YOU! Is that clear? I HATE YOU. I am FINE. And why you won't believe me is beyond me!" She yelled, getting up off the bed and moving for the door. _

_"This is not over, young lady." I say, grabbing her wrist. _

_"This, is so over." She yelled back, fighting against me, "LET GO OF ME." The volume of her scream startled me into letting go and before I can get another word in, she's out the door. _

_I get out the door in time to see her push past Meredith and Hannah and escape down the hall. _

As I come back to reality, I realize that Halle has stopped crying, well, either that or she's figured out how to cry without her shoulders shuddering. She found scrubs somewhere, scrubs that are way too big, and like the hospital gown a few hours ago, dwarf her small frame. She also did one better than me, and managed to grab her coat on the way as well, the coat also dwarfs her, making her look like a small turtle in a very large shell. The site of her in the parka would be laughable if the situation wasn't so serious.

I see her shoulders rise and fall as she takes a deep breath and then turns around to face me. I'm not sure how to face her, so I offer her a slight smile. This is about more than me being mad now, I...I want to fix her, I just don't know how.

"Seriously?" She says as she turns around. "Seriously," she says again, and I realize that she's looking at the dish in my hand.

"Oh, this?" I reply, an idea suddenly crossing my mind, "This isn't for you. Izzie was here on a consult this morning. Brought some of her famous lasagna for your mother and I."

"None for me?" She asks, sounding hurt.

"No," I tell her, knowing that her heart is about to break over this, Izzie's lasagna is her favorite meal. "You don't want to eat, remember?"

"It's...it's my favorite." She tells me, her blue eyes glazing over with tears. "And...and...I...I want to eat...I just...I can't." She finally gets out before breaking out in a full blow sob.

At that point, I've had all I can take and I close the distance between us, wrapping her in a hug. I half expected her to fight me, but she just falls into my chest and cries harder, while curling the back of my scrubs in her fists. I say nothing, just hold her tightly, silently reassuring her that she's not alone. I hold her there for what seems like hours, until her sobs become tears and the tears become shudders and then finally the shuddering stops. We remain like that long after she has calmed down until she breaks the silence.

"What happened to me? And how do I fix it?" She says, looking up at me now.

"Well baby, I...I don't know. But, I do know that we're going to fix it together." I say, hugging her again.

"I...I don't know what happened. I didn't even notice it. Well, I did. But, but by the time I did, it was too late...I was too far gone. And I didn't know what to do."

"Neither did we." I tell her as she looks at me with questioning eyes. "Your mother and I. We...we saw it...and I'm so sorry we didn't step in sooner. For the first time since I met you, I...I didn't know how to help you."

"I pushed you away." She said, "I pushed everyone away. It was...it was everything. Everything was crazy...school and gymnastics and...and at first I was too busy...and then...then it was a game...and now...now it's taken over. And I don't know how to stop it. And I wasn't trying to kill myself." She finished.

"I know baby, I shouldn't have said that," I tell her, squeezing her small frame to me again. "I...I was worried. I am worried. I know you're hurting...and I didn't know what to say. My emotions got the best of me. And I'm sorry. But...you aren't alone. We'll get you through this, that I can promise."

We stand there in silence, me hugging her frail form and her resting against me. I know this is going to be a long ride, but I also know she'll get through it. It won't be easy, but she's pretty amazing. I hear her sigh against me, thankful that she might finally be relaxing. As we watch the sun set over the Emerald City, I fall in love with my baby girl all over again.

"Dad?" She asks after the sun has sunk below the tall buildings, painting the sky in brilliant hues of yellow, orange, and red. I don't say anything, I just look at her, silently telling her to continue. "Can we eat the lasagna now?"

"Yes, we can eat the lasagna now." I tell her with a slight chuckle. While the war is far from over, we have won the battle.

A/N: ok, i just want to put this out there...it may seem like shes on the fast track to healing, and that shes getting over everything really quickly. however, im aware thats not the case with this disease and i could write so many chapters on that, but thats not where this is headed. this chapter was just meant to be a snapshot into what she goes through growing up and how she gets through it. in this chapter, halle is at the point where she and her family finally admit that she has problem and that she wants to solve it. rome wasnt built in a day and there is a long road ahead of her, we just wont see that part.


	35. Meredith 7

A/N: back to the future…it's a mer/der scene from her pov.

Thank you for all the reviews…I will reply, I promise, I got home late tonite, so it was either reply or update and its been a few days, so I figured youd like an update.

Still don't own anything…

**Seattle 2023**

I see him from the porch, long before he even knows I'm outside. He's standing out in the middle of the yard, facing away from the house, getting soaked by the rain. He's upset, really upset, he may be able to hide it from the girls, but me, I can see how tense he is from here. And I thought that getting soaked by rain was my thing, I think to myself as I walk out on to the porch. I briefly consider grabbing an umbrella before heading out to him, but decide against it, he's already soaked, and I don't mind the rain.

I take one deep breath before leaving the safety of the porch and steping out into the back yard, getting instantly soaked by the rain. God, I love the rain. I relish the feeling of the wet grass against my bare feet as I walk towards my husband.

"Hey," I say, walking up behind him and wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Hey," he says softly, not turning around.

"You're upset." I say, not knowing where to begin with this one, so I start with stating the obvious.

"I'm upset." he says, and then pauses. "Well, not so much upset as shocked."

I just squeeze my arms tighter around him. I know he needs to think and I know he'll open up to me eventually, but right now, I just want him to know I'm there.

"Did I do something wrong?" he begins after a long silence. "I mean...of all the people in the world, she had to go find him. The millions of people in Manhattan...and she finds the son of Mark Sloan."

"Keith."

"Huh?"

"He has a name," I tell him, "you're going to have to meet him at some point, and calling the man your daughter loves, the father of your grandchild, son of Mark Sloan, probably isn't going to go over too well."

"Why...why can't I get over this. I...I love my daughter, I really do. And we've been through stuff before. But...but why? Why does this feel so personal? And God, why him?"

"Derek, she didn't know.." I tell him, knowing I'm walking a fine line between pushing him over the edge and defending my daughter.

"I..I know. But that doesn't make this any easier to swallow."

"If you can't swallow it, can you just be happy that she's happy. For once, she doesn't look like she's about to cry at the mention of Halle's wedding. She's in a stable relationship for the first time in her life, and she's in love, with, from what I can tell, a respectable young man."

"His father...slept with my wife...lived with my wife...was the catalyst in the divorce from my wife. Does that sound remotely respectable?" He said, sounding both angry and defeated. I however, have had more of him than I can take.

"If you could, for one second, forgive and forget twenty-six years ago. Because really, there's a satute of limitations on grudges. Well, there should be. I...I wasn't going to bring this up, but, I really think you need to hear it. You left Derek. You left me alone and scared and pregnant. And I stayed that way for ten years. But you know what? You came back. You came back and said all the right things at all the right times and you wanted to be a father. So I let you in, despite the glares and the warnings, and I don't regret it. I never have, and I never thought you did either. So if for one second, you could get past 26 year-old wrong doings and remember for just one moment that if your life hadn't taken that twist, we wouldn't be here right now. We wouldn't have raised two beautiful girls into beautiful young women, and we wouldn't still be hopelessly in love years later," I tell him, tears streaming down my face at this point, "So, if it's not too much to ask, if it's not too hard, let go of the past, stop hating Mark, and maybe, just maybe for one second, thank him for the life you have now. If you can't do it for me, then at least do it for your child." After I get out the final sentance, he moves to hold me, but I shake him off, turn around and head back into the house, letting the door slam behind me.

I don't stop moving until I find the living room couch. I know I'm soaking and cold and that I should change, but I can't find it in myself to care. I drop back, and hear the squeal of the cat as I let the couch catch me. Poor kitty, I think to myself, it's not your fault. Poor kitty my ass, thats karma for clawing my favorite chair. I watch the cat run away before cradling my head in my hands. I still remember the day Hannah brought that cat home. God she was excited.

_"Mommy!" I hear my daughter scream as she runs in the house, letting the door slam behind her. "Mommy!" She screams again, searching the house for me._

_"Laundry room, Hannah," I call to her, curious as to what has her so worked up._

_"Mommy!" she says, running into the room._

_"Yes, dear?" I ask her, stopping in my tracks when I see the red in her face and arms. "Hannah, why are you carrying your coat? You're freezing." I say, touching her arm. "Here," I say, draping a dryer fresh towel over her shivering form._

_"Well..." She begins, as I stand there waiting for an explaination. Hannah was never one to not wear a coat...or be outside...or run home after school. Activity was Halle's thing. "I was on my way home from the bus stop. And I heard crying. So I stopped, and listened. And then I heard it again. It...it was coming from a shoe box," she said, tears beginning to form in her eyes. _

_"Sweetie, what is it?" I ask her, tears now running down her face as she hands me her coat. I lay the coat on top of the washing machine and open it up to reveal a tiny kitten. An possibly injured, scared, tiny kitten, that doesn't seem to be moving._

_"You can fix it, right? He'll be ok. Please...tell me he'll be ok." _

_"Well, sweetie," I begin, unsure of what to tell her. I grab a smaller towel, also fresh out of the dryer, and wrap it around the lifeless animal. "Hannah, I'll take a look at it, but can you go upstairs and grab your father for me?"_

_She doesn't reply, just nods her head and leaves. I turn my attention back to the cat, hoping to God that it's somehow alive, because I really don't want to explain animal cruelty and death to my twelve year old daughter._

_A few seconds later, Hannah races back in, dragging a sleepy looking Derek behind her._

_"Have a nice nap?" I ask him._

_"Lonely," he said, giving me his McDreamy smile, "and short...it seems like someone came home a little excited today," he told me, reaching over and tickling Hannah._

_"Not right now, Daddy." she told him, matter of factly, "You have to help mommy save the kitty."_

_"The kitty, huh?" he says, looking at the bundle in my arms. He looks at me and I give him the look from the hospital, the one when I know the patient doesn't really have a chance. "Well, let's see." He takes the small bundle from me and holds it, close to his heart, as if it were a baby. We stay that way, Hannah and I watching him with the small animal, mesmerized. _

_Five minutes later, I'm beginning to loose hope and Hannah has burried her face in my side, she's not crying yet, but I'm guessing that tears aren't too far away. Then, it was like God smiled and the small bundle in Derek's arms began to stir. And then a meow was heard._

_"Daddy! you saved it!" Hannah exclaimed, letting go of me and running for him._

_"He looks ok," Derek said, laying the bundle on the washing machine and taking out the kitten. "I think he was just cold. Here, why don't you keep him warm while I talk to your mother."_

_Hannah happily took the cat from him and walked out to the living room. I look at my husband with a smirk on my face._

_"Apparently you missed your calling." I joke with him._

_"Mer, don't even joke," he says, wrapping his arms around me. "How 'bout that nap now..." he asks, looking at me with that damn smile again._

_"Kids..." I tell him._

_"Occupied with a kitty." he replied. "Mer, what do we plan on doing with the kitty?"_

_"ummm...well..." I say, biting my lip._

_"No...no. We are not cat people."_

_"Derek, look," I said, leading him out to the living room, where we watch, without Hannah noticing, her interactions with her new pet. She's sitting on her piano bench, the cat in her lap. She was playing a soft song, Mozart..._

_"And I will call you Mozart." She said, stopping and petting the cat._

_"See," I whispered. "She named him...I think we're stuck with him."_

_"You nick-named the vet, and you didn't keep him around."_

_I stuck my tongue out in response. He just looked at me with that damn face. "Fine..nap time. She'll be occupied for a while. But the cat stays."_

_"The cat stays." he replies, shaking his head and leading me upstairs._

I hear the door slam, and I know he's back in the house. I hear Mozart squeal, and I know his hiding place has been found. Dumb cat, if you hide behind the door, it's going to hit you when it opens.

After a few minutes of sitting there alone, I can sense his presence in the living room. However, I refuse to sit up and give him the satisfaction of acknowledgement. He' s being the jackass, so he's going to talk.

"I forgave him." He says, barely audible, but I hear him loud and clear.

"Pardon?" I say, picking my head up our of my hands.

"I forgave him the day you walked back into my life." He says, sitting down next to me and taking my hand. "And...I don't regret meeting you, or being with you, or anything that led me down that path. I...I hope you know that. I love you Meredith Shepherd. I have since the day I met you and I will for the rest of eternity. Nothing will change that, I promise."

"I know." I tell him. "I...I didn't mean it like that. I...I know you love me. And the kids. And I know it's hard to let go, and forgive and forget...but...but Hannah needs you. Now more than ever." I say, more tears making their way down my cheeks.

He lets go of my hands long enough to wipe my tears with his thumb. "No. You're right. I...I need to move on. If...if I can't find it in myself to forgive him, I need to let our past go."

I don't respond, I just squeeze his hands in silent reassurance. He squeezed back, and then let go. His right hand found its way to my chin and lifted it so our eyes met. "I love you, Mer."

"I love you too." I replied.

"And I love the girls too. I'm...I'm afraid I drove Hannah away tonight. That wasn't my intention. I just...I needed to think and I needed to be mean, and I didn't want to direct that at her. Not..not that you should have had to take it either. I...I'm sorry I was an ass."

"You were justified."

"No, no I wasn't. I should be able to move on, everyone else has. And as a result, I managed to alienate my daughter once again. And I was just getting somewhere with her. God, I love her so much. And I'm so damn proud of her...I just...I don't think she knows."

"She does," I tell him, "but, she'd probably love to hear it again."

"Thanks." He says, leaning over and softly kissing me. "For being there. For being you."

I smile at him, and allow him to hold me. And we sit, him holding me against his chest, both of us soaking wet, letting the day's events sink in, and knowing that we'll get through this together.

We sit in silence for a while, just enjoying each other's company, even if we are soaked. We're together, that's all that matters. That's all that will ever matter. A crash from the kitchen breaks the silence. Derek jumps, nearly knocking me to the floor.

"Thanks." I tell him sarcastically.

"No problem." he replies back, just as sarcastically. "I know it's probably nothing, but I'm going to go check anyway. Don't go anywhere," he whispers in my ear as he stands.

"Like I would." I reply, suddenly very turned on by his hot breath against my neck.

I hear him walk into the kitchen, and then, "Damn it Mozart!" a few seconds later.

"Do I even want to ask?" I question when he returns five minutes later.

"Damn cat. Apparently felt the need to attack Halle's beer from earlier."

"You saved his life." I remind him.

"You were the one who said she could keep him."

"Did you want to break her heart?"

"Do I ever? You didn't have to clean out his litter. You still don't. And you didn't have to carry Halle around for a month after she tripped over him."

"No, I only had to hold her while she cried over her missed gymnastics season."

_"Mommy..." I feel Hannah's little hands shaking me awake._

_"Hannah Grace, mommy hasn't slept in forty eight hours and I've been asleep for..." I roll over and look at the clock, 5am. "two hours. Can it wait?"_

_"Halle's hurt."_

_It takes a few minutes for her words to materialize, but then I'm out of bed in an instant. "What happened?" I ask her as her small hand finds mine and she leads me toward the stairs._

_"She tripped over Mozart. And fell down the stairs. She's...she's crying. Halle doesn't cry," Hannah tells me, looking up at me with big green eyes full of fear._

_Crap. She's right. Halle never cries. She broke her wrist last year, didn't make a peep. Got back up on the beam and finished. Damn cat. I think as we reach the top of the stairs. I let go of Hannah's hand when I see Halle's huddled form shuddering at the bottom of the staircase._

_"Baby?" I say to her as I reach the bottom._

_"Mom?" She questions._

_"I'm here baby. Can you tell me what hurts?" I ask, taking her hand._

_"My foot. I...I can't move it. It's...it looks gross."_

_"Ok, let's see ok?" I ask. "Does anything else hurt?"_

_"No," she answered, trying to sit up, but flinching in pain as she moved her leg._

_"Ok, ok." I say to her, taking her hands and helping her into a sitting position, knowing that she'll keep trying until she gets there herself. I slide down and take in her foot. Her toes are already swollen, crap, no good can come from this. I slide further down, placing one hand under her knee and the other under her ankle, and gently lift her leg into my lap. Her face contorts in an effort to keep from crying. "Halle, it's ok, I know this hurts, you can cry baby."_

_It seemed as though that was all she needed for the tears to fall from her big blue eyes with abandon. "Oh, baby, it will be ok."_

_I gently slide the leg of her pajamas up, revealing a badly swollen ankle and spasing calf muscles._

_"Why is my muscle freaking out?" she asks, starting to panic. "And...its...the vein, it's blue and it's going to explode."_

_"Hannah?" I call to my other daughter, who is sitting on the steps, watching her sister in horror. "Can you grab the blanket off the back of the couch? And then go page your dad?"_

_She brings the blanket in and I drape it over Halle. "I can't see," Halle whines through her tears._

_"That's the idea." I tell her, giving her a half-hearted smile. "Can you move your toes?" I watch while she tries in vain. "Ok, how bout your ankle?" I watch again, this time, no movement, but she does scream in pain. "Ok...ok, stop." _

_"I didn't move them did I?"_

_"No...no sweetie." _

_"Ok," I tell her, taking a deep breath, I'm dreading this next part. "Halle, can you tell me if I hurt you?" I ask, squeezing her pinky toe._

_She sniffles, "a little."_

_"Ok," I tell her, giving her a smile in reassurance. I repeat the process with the same result until I get to her big toe, and then I receive a second blood curdling scream. Then the phone rings._

_"Hannah, can you get that?" I ask and she runs off to the kitchen to grab it._

_"Ok, Halle, last one." I tell her, knowing this is going to hurt. I place my hands close to her knee, and begin to slide them down. "Let me know when it hurts," I say to her as my hands work my way down. I watch her bite her lip in effort to keep from crying, which works until I get just above her ankle._

_"Owwww!"_

_"Ok. It's ok. I'm done. Mommy's here." I tell her, pulling her into a hug and holding her against my chest._

_"Mommy?" Hannah asks softly, and I look up at her. "It's daddy, what do you want me to tell him?"_

_"Can you tell him your sister broke her ankle and I'm bringing her in. Have him meet me in the ER."_

_I hear Hannah relay my message as I get up, kiss Halle on the forehead to reassure her, and begin getting ready to leave. I grab mine and Halle's coats from the closet, thankful that I had been too tired to change out of my scrubs before crashing last night._

_"Hannah?"_

_"Yes mommy?"_

_"Can you go outside and open the car for me?" I ask, handing her my keys._

_"Yep." she says, slipping into a pair of her father's boots and heading out the front door._

_"Ok baby," I say, turning back to Hannah. "Ready to go?" I ask, helping her put her coat on. She doesn't answer, just sniffles and looks up at me._

_"It's really broken, isn't it?" She asks as I pick her up. _

_"I think so baby."_

_"No meet next weekend."_

_"No meet next weekend." I confirm._

_"And I'm going to turn 13 on crutches." She says starting to cry again. I just hold her against me, knowing that there's not much I can say now. The physical pain is one thing, but the broken heart, that's another story._

_I make my way out to the car, Hannah holding the door and then opening the door to the back seat. I get Halle situated and the doors closed, and then turn to my blonde daughter._

_"Do you want to go?"_

_"No...take care of her. Just...just make sure she's ok. And tell her I'm sorry."_

_"Oh sweetie," I say, pulling her close, "it's not your fault."_

_"Thanks." She says, turning to go back in the house._

_"Make sure you lock the door." I call to her. She looks back and nods her head._

_Halle and I ride to the hospital in near silence, just the sounds of her sniffles as silent tears continue to run down her cheeks. Why didn't I call George or Izzie and have them drive us so I could've held her? I ask myself._

_I pull up to the hospital where Derek runs out to meet us before I even get the car parked._

_"Hi baby," he says, gently lifting Halle out of the car._

_"Wheelchair?" I ask._

_"Nah, I got her," he tells me, squeezing Halle to him. And I know he does. As we walk into the ER, Halle's tears subside as she relaxes into her father. I watch in awe as he carries her into an exam room, holds her hand through X-ray, and slides in behind her on the bed to hold her while Callie sets her newly broken ankle._

"Damn cat." we both say at the same time, as if we were sharing the same memory.

I stretch my feet out so I'm laying on the couch, and I pull him down to meet me. His lips find mine, and for a few seconds, the troubles with the world are forgotten. I look at him with questioning eyes when he stops suddenly.

"Kids?" he asks.

"Joe's I'm sure, where Hannah will be getting very drunk vicariously through Halle."

He nods his head and looks down at me and smiles, "Well then, I think it's time we got you out of these wet clothes."


	36. Halle 8

A/N: back to the past. It's a halle pov…shes 20. And yet another part of the mystery that is halles past is cleared up. Sorry for the delay, hopefully its worth the wait.

Thank you for the reviews….i re-read them while I was at work today and they totally made my day  I am still working on replies…work has been draining lately, so I come home and veg and read and write….

Without further adiou….

Still don't own anything….

**Manhattan 2027**

_"Ever seen a C-section?" the doctor supervising my summer internship at New York General asked me._

_"A few," I tell her, stretching in attempt to get the pain in my left side to subside. _

_"Are you ok?" She asked, concerned._

_"I'm fine," I tell her._

_"Well, in that case, have you ever scrubbed in on one?"_

_"Seriously?" I ask her. I had seen a few C-sections just being in the hospital with my parents when I was little. And Izzie let me watch a few more from the gallery once I was older. We had learned bits and pieces in Med School, but since I was only two years through, I had never actually been on the surgical floor for one._

_"Yes, Seriously." She tells me. I just smile back, and then the pain shot through my side again, worse than before. Bad enough that I fell to the floor and curled up in a ball._

_"Halle!" she exclaims, dropping to the floor next to me. "What hurts?" She asks, sliding my scrub top up._

_"I...I...I'm pregnant." I tell her before the world fades to black._

"Halle?" The first thing I hear when I wake up is my mother's voice. "It's ok baby, I'm here." She says, running a hand down my cheek. "Welcome back," she says as my eyes flutter and then open.

"Mom?" I say, confused for a minute, before the events of the day come rushing back to me. As they do, a lone tear rolls down my cheek. I squeeze my eyes shut as it does to keep more from falling.

"Oh Halle," I hear her say, as she takes one hand and squeezes my hand while wiping the tear with her other hand.

"I want to be alone." I say, not opening my eyes and quite forcefully.

"I know." She says softly, not letting go of my hand.

"Then why are you in here?" I ask.

"I don't want to leave you."

"I don't want you here. I want to be alone." I take all I have in me, biting my tongue to suppress the pain, and roll over so my back is to her. I can't look at her right now, I know if our eyes meet again, I'll see sadness and pain. And although I probably deserve that, I just can't take it right now. "Please leave."

"Halle."

"What part of leave are you not getting?"

"Halle, I...I want to be there for you. Why didn't you tell me."

"Mom!" I yell, getting frustrated at this point, "Just...just please. Please leave," I say, softer, trying not to break down.

"You're upsetting her," says a second voice.

"She's my daughter."

"I'm well aware, but she needs to stay calm right now."

"She's my daughter. I know what she needs. She needs her mother."

"I'm right here, and what I need right, is to be ALONE. BY MYSELF!"

"I think you need to leave," says the second voice. "She's pretty upset."

"I am staying right here. She needs me."

"Please..." I say, knowing I'm on the verge of losing the battle with my emotions.

"I think she needs some time and to stay calm."

"SHE'S MY DAUGHTER. I THINK I KNOW WHAT SHE NEEDS!"

"Mer," I hear my dad's voice as he enters, "come on, let's go get coffee or something." His last sentance is followed by shuffling and then the door clicks and then it's quiet. I can imagine him taking her gently by the upper arm and leading her out the door. And I'm pretty sure I hear my mom say something to my dad about leaving me here with her...

_"Fresh meet?" A tall red head asks, approaching the doctor who had just given us a tour of the hospital._

_"Even better," he replied. "Summer interns from the med school."_

_"I see."_

_"You have one assigned to you?"_

_"I do."_

_"Alright..." He called, a few hours into this and I'm pretty sure that he thinks he's the Nazi, but really, Miranda would eat him alive. "Who's assigned to neo-natal?"_

_"I am..." I call softly from the back of the crowd. I'm not one to hang in the back or to speak softly, but...but I still have that fear that I don't really belong here. I'm here because of who I am, or rather, who my parents are, not because I should here. I keep telling myself that's not true, that I deserve to be here, that skipping a grade, finishing college in three years, and getting two years of med school out of the way in one year more than qualifies me, but...but I'm easily three years younger than anyone else here, and way smaller. _

_"Hi," I say to her, extending my hand, "Halle Shepherd." As I tell her my name, I can't help but think I recognize her. I don't forget people easily, but I just can't seem to place her._

_"I'm Dr. Montgomery," She says, taking my hand and pausing for a few seconds, as if she's waiting for me to decide she's familiar._

_"Addison?" I question as the rest of the group dissipates. _

_She nods her head and reaches down to shake my extended hand, "I'd recognize you anywhere, you're the spitting image of your father." The red head told me as we shook hands, "Welcome to the program."_

_"Thank you. You were here when I had my accident," I tell her as I begin to piece things together._

_"I was." She said. "You were young then, I'm surprised you remember...you're still young." She said a few seconds later, once she had done the math and fully taken in my appearance._

_"I'm three years ahead." I tell her._

_"With your genes I wouldn't expect anything less," She says as we step into the elevator. "So you're interested in OB?"_

_"Yep," I tell her, "making my neuro surgeon parents a little prouder everyday." I say sarcastically as we step off the elevator on to the OB floor._

"I'm tired." I tell her a few seconds after my mom was dragged out of the room, sounding more irritated than I meant to, I'm sure.

"You should be. Surgery takes a lot out of you, not to mention the trauma your body already went through."

"I know." I tell her, shifting uncomfortably.

"How bad is the pain?"

"I'm dealing."

"I gather that. But from what I can tell, your ways of dealing might not be the best for you." She says, lifting my gown to check the sutures.

"Do you want anything?" She asks when she's finished, after I've flinched in pain about a million times.

"Will it make me sleep?"

"Probably."

"Bring it on." I tell her, despite not wanting to admit it, the pain is pretty intense and if it will put me to sleep...well, at this point I'm up for anything that will keep me from feeling for a little while.

"You know, you're going to have to talk to someone eventually."

"I know. When I'm ready. I just...I can't yet." I say quickly to abate the tears threatening to fall.

"Ok." She says, injecting something into my IV, "That should help with the pain and help you rest for a little while. Can I get you anything? Anyone?"

"ummm..." I say, starting to feel very sleepy.

"Just so you know, I'm here. If you want anything...or someone to talk to."

"Thanks." I tell her. "Can...can my dad come in?"

"Sure," she says softly before she leaves the room. I barely hear the door click before the medicine kicks in and I fall into a fitfull sleep.

As I wake up I can feel his presence before I see him. "I don't want to talk about it." I say, not rolling over to face him.

"That's fine. I'm not asking you to. I'll just continue to sit with you if that's ok."

I don't respond, I just roll over to face him. As our eyes meet, I expect to find hurt and disappointment, but instead find love and worry. And that's all I need to break. The tears I've held in for two weeks begin to fall and I'm not sure I'll ever be able to stop them. He's by my side almost instantly, but unlike everyone else, he doesn't say anything. He just holds me and lets me cry. Lets me cry out the events of the last two weeks, my fear, my anger, and my broken heart.

"Will is going to hate me." I tell him after crying for what feels like an hour.

"He doesn't hate you," my dad replies, running a hand through my hair.

"I...I..." I can't even verbalize what happened before I lose it again. Dad doesn't continue the conversation, he just holds me as the sobs wrack my body.

"Baby," he says, later, after the tears have stopped and I've had time to recover, "Why, why did you feel like you couldn't come to us...to Will...to anyone."

"I...I..." I begin, not sure I'm ready to have this conversation. "I don't know. Cause it was bad...and I was worried...I...I didn't want you to be disappointed."

"Oh baby, we would never be disappointed. We would have supported what ever decision you would have made, you know that."

"Mom's disappointed." I say flatly, thinking back to our conversation earlier.

"No, she...she's just upset you didn't tell her. She just wants to be there for you. She loves you, Halle."

"It's just...I was scared." I tell him in whisper. "I'm still scared." I say after, in a barely audible whisper.

"I know," he tells me, "but you'll get through this. We'll get you through this."

"Will is going to hate me."

"Halle, Will doesn't hate you. I'm pretty sure it's just the opposite."

"But...I...I didn't tell him. And now I can't and I...I just don't know." I say, bursting into tears again.

"Shhh..." he says, running fingers through my hair again. "It's going to be ok," he whispers as I cry.

"I...I...I love him," I say, referring to Will, "I don't want him to hate me."

"Baby, that man just up and flew across the country to get to you. I highly doubt he would have done that if he hated you."

"Will's here?" I say, my breath hitching.

"Been sitting outside for the past few hours, hoping that you'll ask to see him."

"He didn't come in..." I say, my voice trailing off, thinking that him not racing in is confirmation he hates me.

"You seem to have made quite the impression on your surgeon. She's been guarding the door like a mother lion." That comment makes me laugh, considering whom the surgeon is, "Is that a laugh?" He asks with a smile on his face.

I just bite my lip and look at him. "Thank you." I say softly.

"No need," he replies.

"Can..."

"I'll send him in now." He tells me, as if he could read my mind.

"And...and can you tell mom I'm sorry."

"I can, but I'm sure she'd rather hear it from you later."

"Ok," I say in a small voice. "Ask her if she'll talk to me later."

"She will. She loves you." He tells me again, then kisses my forehead and heads for the door.

"Dad," I call, causing him to turn around. "Thank you. For being here...and for knowing what to say...and how to say it." The only response I get is a nod before he heads through the door and it clicks shut behind him.

It's only a matter of seconds before I hear the door click again as it opens and Will steps through it, looking sad and broken and worried and hurt and nervous all at the same time. My heart skips a beat as our eyes meet, and it's at that moment I realize I would die without him.

"I know you're angry," I say as he approaches the bed, tears rolling down my cheeks. I half expected him to end it right there, he'd have every right to, and really, I wouldn't blame him.

"I am angry," He says, standing over me. "But I also love you." He tells me, stroking my arm. "Shhh..." he whispers, wiping at my tears with his thumb. "We're going to get through this...you're going to be fine. We're going to be fine. You didn't get here on your own, and I'm not going to let you go through this alone."

"_I can't believe you got the summer internship in New York, not that you didn't deserve it, but…wow. I'm so proud of you babe." Will tells me, holding me close._

"_I can hear your heart," I tell him._

"_Good, means I'm not dead." He replies, kissing my forehead._

"_I'm going to miss you." I tell him, nuzzling my face into his neck._

"_I'll miss you too. But, I'll be there for the 4th of July, and that will be here before you know it. And you're coming back in August, and then we'll both be back out there in September."_

"_I know. I just…miss you. And I'll miss…well…"_

_He laughs and places feather kisses on my nose, cheeks, and lips. "Well, that…you and I just a few minutes ago…that will be something I'll never forget."_

_I sigh and relax into his arms, "I couldn't agree more."_

_We lay like that for a while, just enjoying each other's company, relishing it, knowing that this will be the last time for a month. _

"_Let me find you a sweatshirt, and maybe some pants or something." _

"_No, I'm fine, just stay with me."_

"_Halle, that's like the hundredth time you've shivered in the past minute. I'll come back and I'll hold you all night. I just…I don't want you to be uncomfortable."_

"_Thank you." I tell him as he gets out of bed._

"_Shit." He says, staring at the floor._

"_What is it?" I ask, sitting up._

"_It's…it's…" he can't seem to find the words, so he bends down and picks something up. "It split."_

_I gasp as he holds up the torn condom. "Shit."_

_He drops the condom back on the floor and gets back into the bed with me, his arms instantly finding me and mine him. "We'll…we'll get through this." He says, gently rocking me to sleep as silent tears fall down my cheeks._

He sits on the side of my bed and I slide over, giving him space to lie next to me. "I...I love you Will." I say through my tears. "And...and I'm so sorry."

"Shhh...I...I love you Halle. God, I love you so much." He said, wrapping his arms around me and letting me cry into his chest. "I just...I wish you would have told me. I...I would have been here...and I would have supported whatever decision you made."

"I know...I just...I wanted to...I was going to...I couldn't. I'm so sorry...and I know you probably hate me."

"Shhh...God, Halle, I love you more than life itself. That doesn't mean I'm not mad, and that doesn't mean I like you right now, but, we'll...we'll get through this," he said, placing a chaste kiss on my forehead and pulling me against his chest. "Shhh...rest now..."

And we stay there for the rest of the day and into the night. Just the two of us, him holding me, rocking me, and reassuring me. As I drift off into my first restfull sleep in two weeks with the love of my life holding me, I realize that everything really might be ok.

A/N: I realize that she could have gone the route of the morning after pill…but that just wouldn't have worked for the story…so for whatever reason, she didn't.

And yes, this was my original plan to bring Addison back into the story…before I killed off her second husband and decided to bring her and mark back together…stay tuned for that meeting….say in 2 chapters or so…


	37. Derek 12

A/N: back to the present time. Derek pov. Italics are flashbacks. This should explain more of the closeness between halle and her dad.

Still don't own anything.

Love the reviews 

**Seattle 2032 **

The first thing I realize when I wake up is that I'm alone. I reach over and grab Mer's pillow, inhaling her scent. Three knocks and then the door opening pause my recollection of last nights fond memories.

"Did you not come home drunk at some ungodly hour last night, wait, no, let me rephrase that, this morning?" I ask her as she walks in the room.

"Maybe..." She says, her voice trailing off and a smirk crossing her face.

"How are you awake right now? And better yet, how are you not hungover?"

"I'm young...I can do that." She says, grabbing a pair of socks out of the laundry basket. "Time to get up," she tells me, tossing the socks and hitting me square in the face.

"You can't be serious."

"Oh but I am...come on, three miles. Doctor's orders."

"I am a doctor," I tell her, pulling the covers tighter around me. "And I order some sleep for myself."

"Ok then, mom's orders. You don't want to question that do you?" She asks, giving me that smirk again.

"Speaking of," I ask, "Where is she?"

"Early surgery."

"What time is it?"

"7:30. She left two hours ago."

"And you were up at 5?" I ask her, knowing that she may be many things, but a morning person isn't one of them.

"Umm..."

"Will had to leave?" I finish for her, knowing she's embarassed I know he was here.

"Yeah, had to go pick relatives up or something with his mom." she says, her voice trailing off and turning a light shade of pink.

"It's ok," I tell her, "you're 25, you're getting married in a few days, God Halle, you've grown up."

_Laying in Mer's bed, listening to the rain, it all still seems surreal. It's been three days since Halle and I got back to Seattle, and I still can't believe it. I can't believe I'm back in Seattle, I can't believe I'm a father, most off all, I can't believe that Meredith is back in my life. It's like I have to keep touching her to believe she's really there, I think to myself as I pull her sleeping form closer to me, dropping a kiss on her forehead. She whimpered slightly in her sleep before settling against my chest. I reach down and move a stray lock of hair out of her face and place it behind her ear. As I do, her eyes flutter open._

_"Hi." She whispered._

_"Hi," I say, placing a soft kiss on her lips. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."_

_"It's ok," She told me, cuddling into my side. "I missed you."_

_"I missed you too." I tell her, squeezing her against me. I hear her take a sharp breath, "Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just...I can't believe you're laying here with me. I'm afraid that if I let go, you'll be gone."_

_"Not going anywhere..." She says sleepily._

_"Go back to sleep, Mer," I whisper as lightening flashes and thunder crashes outside. I chuckle when she doesn't flinch._

_"What?" She asks._

_"You...you didn't flinch. I just remember nights in the trailer, before...before everything, how you'd curl into me, and hold on for dear life."_

_"I grew up. You'll see why in...five...four..." the sound of thunder interrupts her counting. "Three...two..."_

_"Mommy!" We hear Halle scream from the room next door._

_"Not a fan," I question as Mer moves to get out of bed?_

_"Petrified." _

_"Stay." I tell her, climbing out of bed, "I'll get her."_

_"You're going to have to bring her in here. I don't think she'll calm down unless I'm with her."_

_"You worry too much," I tell her, leaving the room and walking toward my daughter's room._

_"Hey baby girl," I say, walking through her door and over to her bed. I can see her huddled form, shuddering with sobs under the blankets. "Hey, hey," I say to her softly, running a hand through her dark hair. _

_"Mommy?" she asks through her tears, before another clap of thunder sends her into my arms._

_"Sure baby, I'll take you to her," I say as her arms latch around my neck._

_"I...I..."_

_"Don't like the thunder." I finish for her, worried that she's going to hyperventilate again, "ok baby, let's go see your mom." I tell her, lifting her off the bed. "But do one thing for me," I say, looking into her blue eyes. She doesn't respond, just meets my gaze and nods her head. "Breathe for me. In and out, slowly, just like the hotel."_

_"Ok dad," she says softly, before burying her face in my chest as the thunder claps again._

_I've been called dad for a few weeks now, and really, I don't think I could ask for a better name. I can feel Halle's raspy breath as I carry her down the hall, "Mommy..." she whimpers slightly as we enter Mer's room._

_"We're here," I tell her, laying her on the bed. Noting the softened look Mer gives her small daughter as she sits up and opens her arms. I don't think I've ever seen Meredith look more beautiful than in that moment._

_"Mom..." Halle said as she crawled into Mer's embrace._

_"Oh, sweetie..." She says, planting a kiss on Halle's head. "It's ok, you're ok. Mommy's here. Daddy's here too," she says, motioning for me to get back into bed. I sit back down on the bed, and watch in awe as Mer calms Halle down, despite the storm raging outside. _

_I crawl back under the covers, and settle Meredith's back against my chest. I rub soothing circles on her back as she does the same to Halle, who she has settled on the other side of her. Once I'm sure they're both sleeping, I lay my arm protectively over both of them. I smile as I realize how complete my life has become in a matter of weeks._

_Just as I'm about to drift off, I hear Meredith's whisper, "I love you, Derek." At that point, I know my life is complete._

"It seems that I have," she responds, "but you still need to get up. Come on, it will be like old times." She says, moving closer.

"Ok, ok," I tell her, sitting up, "I'll get up, but you go get ready. I'll meet you downstairs in five."

"I am ready." She says.

"You don't have shoes on. So unless you have a date with the ER later..."

It's then that she gets my hint, "Ahhh...right. I should have known...well, I think I did know...wait," she says, putting her hand up, "I'm not going to analyze." She tells me as she leaves and pulls the door shut behind her.

Once the door closes, I get out of bed, keeping the sheet firmly wrapped around me, just incase anyone else wants to barge in. As I dig out my running clothes, I think back to last night and how I wouldn't have gotten through it, or anything else without Mer. God, I miss her already. Damn early surgery, I was looking forward to waking up with her...and spending the morning with her...

"Dad!" Halle's voice from downstairs jarrs me from my thoughts and brings me back to reality. And really, I don't mind. Mer...well...I'll pick up with where we left off later, right now, I'll spend sometime with my baby girl. Fully dressed, I sit back down on the bed to lace up my shoes.

"Dad!" Halle calls again, this time from outside the door.

"You can come in. I'm just putting on shoes."

I watch the doornob turn and she comes in and sits down next to me. "I thought you stood me up."

"Who me? Never. I was...I was just thinking."

"About how this all started."

"Yeah...and how much I love you guys. And how I came so close to losing all of it."

_Complete Renal Failure. I never realized how much three words can change your life, until now. God knows I've said those words...countless times. But I've never been on the receiving end, until now. And...I can't even describe...it's different when it's you. It's been three days, and I'm still not sure that it has completely sunken in yet. I'm not so sure it ever will. _

_As I sit on the couch, leaning against Mer, watching my girls lay under the Christmas tree, I can't help but wonder if this is the last time I'll see this. I'd heard the doctor loud and clear. I needed a transplant to survive. And my blood type, rare as they come. So rare that neither Meredith nor my sisters matched. Hannah had gotten last week, but was also not a match. Not that I'd let her go through with the surgery, not during her senior year of high school. Halle had gotten tested before she left Boston, not that I'd let her go under the knife either, not a year into college. If anything ever happened, I'd never forgive myself._

_Meredith runs her fingers through my hair, and a smile crosses my face, God, I love her so much. I hear crinkling of wrapping paper, and my attention turns to my girls, laughing as Mozart gets tangled in our mess of paper from earlier. It's great to have them under one roof again, Halle, home from her first year of college, after graduating early, as Valedictorian. And Hannah, graduating this May, and I'd be surprised if she wasn't Valedictorian as well. I'm so proud of them...and I can't stop thinking about how much of their lives I'm going to miss, Weddings, graduations, babies, the list is endless. _

_"Whatcha thinking about?" Mer asks me. I can't formulate a response, I just sigh, and pick up her hand, bring it to my lips and kiss it._

_"No. It's Christmas Eve, you're not allowed to be sad tonight. Forget the world." She tells me. She has been amazing. Somehow, despite everything, we're having Christmas. In between surgeries and dialysis and naps and kids, she managed to pull Christmas together as if nothing was wrong._

_"I love you." I say to her._

_"I love you too," she says back, kissing the back of my neck._

_"Ewww..." I hear Hannah say._

_"Ewww..." I hear Halle agree._

_The tears get harder to hold in at this point. It's moments like this I'm going to miss. The simple stuff, my teenage daughters thinking about their parents having sex and finding it gross...making love to Mer. I take a deep breath and swallow, determined to keep the tears in until I can shed them in private. _

_"Ok. I was...I was going to wait." Halle begins, getting up, "but...but I think we all need this now." I'm unsure of what she's talking about, we exchanged our Christmas Eve presents already, so I'm interested to know what she's fishing out from under the tree. She comes over to the couch and I sit up off of Mer, making room for her. "Dad," she says, "this...this is for you." She hands me a small box, and I'd swear there were tears in her eyes. _

_I look at her and then at my wife, who nods for me to open the box. As I do, I feel Meredith's hand on my knee and Halle's hand on my opposite shoulder. I pull the paper off the box and open it, unfolding the tissue inside, revealing a kidney bean._

_"What..." I ask her, having a pretty good idea of where this is going._

_"It's...it's a kidney. Well, more specifically, my kidney. I...I got tested before I left Boston. And...and you gave me your crazy blood type," she says, pulling me into a hug._

_"Oh...baby...I...I..." I can't find words to say to her as the tears I had tried so desperately to hold in were now falling down my cheeks. "I can't ask you to do that." I told her._

_"You didn't. You saved my life last year." She said, tearing up as well. "The least I can do is return the favor."_

_"But...but what about college?" I ask her._

_"I'm a year ahead already. And I'm going to take summer classes at UW. I'll be fine. I can make up school. But...but I can't get a new dad. And...and I'm not ready for you to go yet. You need to walk me down the aisle and I need to make you a grandpa and you need to watch me become a doctor."_

_"Oh Halle," I say, pulling her crying form into me, sharing her tears. Soon Mer and Hannah have joined us in a family hug. We sat there, watching Christmas Eve become Christmas Day, loving each other and knowing that we'd get through this, together._

"But you didn't" She says, standing up and outstretching her arm to help me up. I take her hand and let her lead me out of the room, down the stairs, and out the door.

As we run, I notice that neither one of us has fallen out of fitness. We ran everyday that summer she was home after the transplant, and then when she was home for holidays, and the times that we couldn't, we'd check in on the phone. But, I have to say, it goes much quicker when we're together.

"You know," she says as we turn up our street, "running is much more fun when we do it together."

"I'd have to agree." I respond. "Where's Hannah this morning?" I ask as the house comes back into view.

"Ummm..."

"Halle."

"She...well...we..."

"Halle, you're rambling." I tell her.

"Keith surprised her last night at the bar. Apparently his parents are in town for a consult. And he tagged along so he could see Hannah...and apparently his parents want to have dinner with us."

"What?" I ask, pretty sure I heard the last part, but not wanting to believe it.

"His parents want to have dinner with us." She repeats as we slow to a walk once we reach the driveway.

As we walk towards the house, I run a hand through my sweaty hair...welcome to hell, I think to myself.


	38. Addison

A/N: a little bit of pre-dinner humor…I decided to break this up into two parts, mainly because Addison was so hard to write…but I really wanted to show what she was thinking.

Love the reviews…and im slowly replying…slowly…

Still don't own anything

Seattle 2032

I'm beginning to think that staying in New York wouldn't have been a bad idea. I like New York; my son is there, my practice is there, my friends are there, and most importantly, my ex-husband and his wife and kids are not there. But no, I couldn't bear the thought of not being with my husband for a week, so I packed my stuff, kissed my son, (who is probably throwing the party of the year in the house right now), and jetted off to Seattle. A place I hadn't been in ten years, and really didn't miss.

The last time I saw Derek and Meredith flashes before me as I knock on the door, Keith nervously fidgeting behind me, and Mark even further behind, as if he's chosen now to grow a conscience and be afraid of seeing his ex-best friend.

_"Addison!" Derek's voice takes my attention from the charts I'm working on and I look up to see him and Meredith running towards me. "We came as soon as we could, what happened? How is she? Is she going to be ok?" He asks, tears forming in his eyes. _

_"Where is she? Can I see her?" Meredith asks, catching up to her husband and dragging a bored looking blonde girl behind her. That must be Hannah, I thought to myself, thinking back ten years to the night I ran into Meredith at the hospital, the night Derek met his daughters. _

_"Of course, I'll take you to her." I say, watching Derek put his arm around Meredith and her automatically lean into him as we walk to their daughter's room. _

_I can't help but think, that should have been me, as I watch them. Derek and I were over a long time ago, long before he moved to Seattle the first time, but you never forget your first love. Even after you both forgive and move on, part of them is always there and always will be, that's just how the world works. _

_"She might be a little groggy," I say to them, understanding that they're both doctors, but knowing that right now, they're parents. _

_Meredith puts her hand on the door, but Derek stops her, "Addie," he begins, "What exactly happened?" he asks, putting his right arm around Meredith's shoulder and taking her left hand with his left. _

_"Well," I begin, "a lot of it, you'll need to ask her, but she collapsed earlier today in the elevator, after complaining. Well, she wasn't really complaining, just the way she was moving, I could tell something wasn't right," Derek nodded his head, Meredith just leaned further into him. "Shortly after her collapse, I took her into surgery for an ectopic pregnancy." _

_"She...she was pregnant?" Meredith questioned. "She...she never said anything." she said softly, sounding more hurt than anything. _

_"Maybe she didn't know, Mer," Derek said to her, softly kissing the top of her head. At that moment, I was glad I hadn't said anything about Halle's confession in the elevator. _

_"Can..can I see her," Meredith asked quietly, gazing through the window, trying to see her daughter. _

_"Yes, like I said before, she's a little groggy, and she needs to stay calm, she's been through a lot. I know this is tough to take, but remeber what she's gone through." _

_"Thanks, Addison," she says, before freeing herself from Derek's grasp and making her way into Halle's room, leaving Derek, Hannah, and I in the hallway. _

_"I know you both want to see her," I began. _

_"One visitor at a time will probably be easier on her," Derek stated. _

_"Just what I was going to say," I told him, offering him a smile. _

_"I should...I should call Will," he started. _

_"I'll do it." Both Derek and I turn around to his other daughter, as these are the first words out of her mouth since they walked into the hospital. Derek looks doubtful at first, but Hannah continues. "Dad, seriously, you know you've got about another minute before mom pisses Halle off and you have to settle one or both of them down. I'll call Will. He'd want to know, and if I know him like I think I do, he'll be on the next plane out." That's all we got before her blonde hair swished as she turned and headed to chairs to make the phone call. _

_Hannah apparently knew both her sister and her mother better than we thought, sure enough, about a minute after she had departed, we hear Halle yell, _

_"LEAVE ME ALONE!" _

_I bit my lip and looked at Derek, he just shook his head sadly. "They both love each other so much. They just don't really understand each other all that well." He explained. "I'm guessing Mer...Meredith went in, hurt because Halle didn't tell her, and asked her about it. Halle however, just needs a hug right now. She'll talk when she's ready. She's stubborn, but she'll talk. And Meredith, Meredith's impatient." _

_"Stubborn, huh?" I ask, turning the doornob, "Sounds like someone else I know." _

Well, I think to myself, we managed to be civil when I was Halle's doctor five or six years ago, we can get through dinner. Oh...wait...I'm standing on my ex-husband's doorstep, with the man I cheated on him with, about to tell him that my stepson is the one who got his daughter pregnant. And that we could one day be in laws, all of us; Derek, myself, and our dirty mistesses. And who said God didn't have a sense of humor. Before I have a chance to laugh at my own thought, the door opens.

"Hi," says a friendly female voice as she opens the door, "You must be..." her voice trails off as she sees me, and then, "Addison!" she says, her voice both a question and a surprise.

"Hi Halle," I say, taking in her appearance. Five years have done well for her, she no longer looks like the scared, broken child I remember. She's let her hair grow longer and lets its natural wave flow, pair that with Derek's blue eyes, and the fact that she's radiating happiness, make her absolutely gorgeous. "I guess Keith and Hannah never discussed his step mom." I say to her. It's at that point she looks behind me and sees Keith.

"Oh...oh..." she says, putting everything together. "Hi Addison," she said, stepping aside to let me in, "ummm...nice to see you." she says as I walk through the door. She seems genuinely happy, afterall, we did spend an entire summer together, but I sense a hint of tension in her voice, anticipating the rest of the evening I'm sure. If she didn't know Mark and I had gotten married, I'm sure as hell Derek and Meredith don't. "Hi Keith," she says as he nervously steps through the door. "Don't worry, he's not home. Mom sent him and Hannah to the store. She was sick of them pacing."

"The store, huh?" I hear Mark say behind me, "Hopefully getting alcohol."

"Mark!" I exclaim, turning around.

"It's ok." Halle says, "You must be the infamous Mark." She says to him, oozing the confidence the rest of us only wish we had. "Here, come on in."

"Good to see you again," Keith says to Halle, handing her the wine we brought.

"You too," she replied. "Ummm...I guess you can sit in the living room, for now, it's this way. Can I get you anything? Drinks? Snacks?" She asked as she led us to the living room.

"I'm good." I tell her. Keith nods his head in silent agreement. It's then I notice Mark hasn't followed us.

"It's good to see you haven't changed a bit," I hear Meredith say from the kitchen, and then decide that Mark must have ended up there.

"Mark," I call from the other room, long and drawn out, "Unless you want to end up on the floor bleeding again, I suggest you leave Meredith alone and get in here with the rest of us."

"aww...Derek's not even here." He says, wandering back into the living room with Meredith not too far behind.

"It wasn't Derek I was referring to," I reply, giving him a look.

"Addison!" Meredith exclaimed and questioned at the same time, much like her daughter had done before.

"Meredith," I say, extending my hand, "Good to see you." I pause for a moment to take in her appearance. She's aged well, just a few strands of grey in her honey blonde hair hint that she's past her thirties.

"I thought that was your voice. I just...um..."

"Yeah, Keith and Hannah never discussed the fact that his father remarried. Or whom he remarried." I tell her as she takes my hand and shakes it.

"So you and Mark?"

"The winter after Halle did her summer internship."

Meredith nods her head, trying to piece everything together.

"Yep, we finally found each other." Mark butts in from behind me, "dirty mistresses finally triumph."

"Don't worry," I hear Halle say to Keith, "alcohol soon."

"We don't need alcohol, we need..."

"Valium?" She finishes for him.

"Oh," Meredith says, hearing Keith's voice, "You must be Keith." She said, stepping closer and extending her hand. "Nice to finally meet you. Hannah has said so many wonderful things about you."

"Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Shepherd."

"Oh please, call me Meredith."

"Meredith then," he said, "Glad I could finally meet you too."

"Mom?" Halle says after a few seconds of small talk. "I..." she sniffs the air..."I think something's burning."

"Shit!" Meredith exclaims, immediately turning red as she realizes she just swore in front of her company.

"Mer?" We hear Derek yell as he comes in the backdoor, "is something burning?"

"I'll get it," Halle quickly says to her mother, before running back to the kitchen, smirk on her face.

"She seems to be enjoying this." I say to Meredith, once Halle has disapeared.

"She is enjoying this. It wasn't too long ago she had to tell her father he was going to be related to Miranda Bailey."

Before I get a chance to laugh at that thought, the second Shepherd daughter runs into the room. "Mom!" She exlaims, "Halle said that Mark is married to..." her voice trails off once she realizes she's stepped into a room full of company. More specifically, a room full of her boyfriend's parents.

"H..Hi.." she utters, turning bright red, just like her mother had a few minutes before.

"Hey Sweetie," Keith says to her, nervously crossing the room and wrapping an arm protectively around her waist. This caused her to smile and lean into him. In the six years I've known Keith, I've never seen him this happy, I've never seen him like this with anyone, ever. They just seem genuinely happy, like Derek and Meredith, or Mark and I.

"You must be Hannah," Mark says, breaking the silence. "You look just like your mother," He says, extending his hand.

"Thank you." She said politely, while taking his hand and shaking it. "Nice to finally meet you," she manages, although I can hear the nerves in her voice.

"Don't be nervous," I say, stepping closer to the couple. "He doesn't bite...hard."

"Hannah," Keith says, "this is my stepmom, Addison, but...but I guess you already know her."

"Umm...yeah, sort of...I guess...a little." she rambles. God, she is her mother, I think to myself. Leave it to Keith to find Meredith Grey's daughter, the one who looks exactly like her, and fall in love.

"Nice to see you again," I say as I take the hand she doesn't realize she has outstretched.

"You too," she replies.

Before our conversation goes any further, Halle pops back into the room. "Dinner's ready." she says.

Good, I haven't seen Derek yet, he hasn't seen Mark...or me..and we're going to sit down to dinner. With knives...who thought this was a good idea? Oh right, me...before I realized that the girl Keith was coming to see, the girl he had gotten pregnant, and the girl I was pretty sure he'd marry, was none other than the daughter of my ex-husband.


	39. Derek 13

A/N: heres more….

Thanks for the reviews…I am still replying….i just need to stop working 14 hour days…..

Still don't own anything…

**Seattle 2032 **

_"Dinner's ready," I hear my daughter call to our guests in the next room. I take a deep breath as I set the lasagna down on the table, thanking God I got home when I did, had I been any later, we would have been eating torched lasagna...or ordering out for pizza. That would have made an impression, especially considering who our guests are. I take another deep breath as everyone begins to file into the dinning room. Slow, deep breaths. At this point, I'm glad the lasagna almost burned, at least it sent Halle into the kitchen to forewarn me that Mark had indeed finally married Addison, and I was having dinner with my ex-wife. Which shouldn't be a big deal, considering I had dinner with her and John frequently when we were all back in New York, but that was before. Before Meredith came back into my life, before I had two kids, before Addison married the man who broke up my marriage, oh, and yes, before we were facing the daunting prospect of being inlaws... _

_Hannah is the first to enter, a nervous looking Keith with an arm around her waist, "Hi Daddy," she says, stepping closer to me. _

_"Hi Sweetie," I say to her, noticing how nervous she looks, and having to keep myself from laughing at how nervous Keith looks, "You must be Keith," I say to the young man, extending a hand to him. "Good to finally meet the young man who seems to have put the permanent smile on my daughter's face." _

_"Nice to meet you too, Dr. Shepherd," He said, shaking my hand firmly. _

_"Relax," I say to him, as all three of us let out a breath we didn't know we were holding, "You can call me Derek. Dr. Shepherd makes me feel old." I say with a smile. Ok, maybe this won't be so bad. He seems like a good guy, and Hannah's happy, I think to myself as I watch Keith pull out a chair for her. _

_Mark and Addison slowly followed their son, his arm also around her waist. And despite the awkwardness of the situation, I can tell she's happy. _

_"Mark, Addison," I say, nodding my head as they enter. "Good to see you again." I say, I promised Mer I would try, and I'm going to. If I can't seem to forgive, I at least need to forget and move on, for the sake of my daughter, and my grandchild. _

_Mark approaches me first, doesn't say anything, just extends his hand, an olive branch of sorts, I nod my head as I take his hand and shake it. _

_"Hey," Addison says after I shake Mark's hand, pulling me into a hug. _

_"Hi Addie," I say, returning her embrace. Mer and Halle walk in as Mark and Addison sit down. Halle walks over and takes the chair next to her sister, while Mer walks closer to me and takes the seat between myself and Mark. Seriously, the tension could have been cut with the proverbial knife. As we sit, she takes my hand and squeezes it in silent reassurance, in that moment, I fall in love with her all over again. I'm pretty sure, if I keep looking at her, I'll get through this, we'll all get through this. _

_Just as I pick up the first plate to send around the table, the doorbell rings. "Expecting company?" I ask, looking from Mer to the girls. All three of them shake their heads. _

_"I'll get it." Meredith says, pushing back from the table, leaving the rest of us sitting there, looking at each other. No one wanting to address the obvious elephant in the room. _

_"Ok," Addison finally begins, "who wants to take a moment to laugh at the pure irony of this situation?" And that is why I married her, I think to myself. I crack a smile as does Halle, Hannah stiffles a laugh, and both Mark and Keith deflate a little as they let out the air they had been holding. "Seriously," she began, "meeting the parents of your significant others is terrifying enough on its own, this, this has to be..." _

_"Up there with fighting a bull?" Halle finished for her. _

_"Or telling your dad you're pregnant...by the son of his ex-best friend who is married to his ex-wife?" Hannah throws out, causing us all to hold our breath. Until she lets out a small laugh, and then Halle joins her, followed by Keith, and soon, we're all laughing. _

_"At least we can find the humor in the situation," Mark says, "And we haven't had to crack open the alcohol yet." _

_"Seriously," I say, forgetting for a moment that he is anything more than my friend. _

_"It is true." booms a familiar voice behind me, and we all turn to see the owner. _

_"Miranda!" I ask. _

_"Yep, that's me." She says as she steps into the dinning room. "Mr. Lovesick over here," she began, gesturing to Will and taking the seat next to me that Mer had vacated a few minutes ago, "Couldn't go another minute without seeing this one," gesturing at Halle. _

_"Will!" Halle yelled, getting up to hug him, then giving him her chair and sitting back down in his lap. _

_"Me, on the other hand, I heard the rumor, but I had to come in here and see for myself if it was true." She explains as Mer comes up behind her, a smirk of disbelief on her face. _

_"Seriously?" I ask, mainly toward Mer, unable to hide my own disbelief. _

_"Seriously," she said, walking over to me and making herself comfortable on my lap. _

_"Comfy?" I ask her. She looked back at me and then wiggled her bony bottom a few times before answering. _

_"Am now. Let's eat." _

_"Ok, but I might vomit if you two start feeding each other." Mark said. _

_"You," Halle said to him from Will's lap, "They aren't YOUR parents." _

_"Shall we eat?" I ask, reaching around Meredith to serve the lasagna. "Are you eating Miranda?" _

_"I'm at the table aren't I?" I nod my head, "Then I'm eating. Do you think I would miss what looks like Izzie's lasagna?" _

_"Of course it is. Gave me the receipe herself." _

_"Too bad she didn't cook it." Halle said. _

_"Hey!" I say to her, "I am a good cook if I do say so myself. Be thankful I didn't leave it up to your mother." I say, getting swatted shortly after by Meredith. _

_"Apparently you find the couch comfortable." she tells me, giving me a smirk. _

_"Don't worry Meredith," Addison chimed in, "I can't cook either, and this one," she said, pointing at Mark, "Never lets me forget it." _

_"Addie, the last time you tried to make dinner, John had to get the fire extinguisher...and then page me at the hospital." _

_"Apparently, they both like sleeping on the couch." Addison said to Meredith. _

_"Hey! We're staying at a hotel. We don't have a couch." Mark said, feigning hurt. _

_"Then it looks like you're sleeping in the bathtub...or the hall, whichever you fancy," Addison responded. _

_"I'm glad we all can finally get along." Miranda finally spoke up. "But for the love of Christ, quit talking about the food and let's eat it." _

_Addison laughs as I start serving the food, "Miranda, I'm glad to see you haven't changed a bit." _

_"Me? Change? What were you expecting? Me to go soft?" She asked, looking at everyone, and then to Halle and Will, "I KNOW you two have bets on if I'll cry at the wedding." _

_"Awww mom," Will began, "I'm your little boy...of course you're going to cry." he finished, chuckling. _

_"Don't be so sure. A week from today, I will be related to one of my suck-ups. And you..." she said, looking at me, "there are no words...I'm going to be related to you. That...that is what will make me cry." Then she starts laughing, "But you," she said, looking at me, "Did you ever think that your ex-wife would one day become your inlaw?" _

_"Well, we're not exactly inlaws yet..." I say, my voice trailing off. _

_"Actually..." Keith began, getting out of his chair. "Hannah," he began, "I was going to find the perfect time to do this, but...but..I'm in love with you. I have been in love with you forever. And, like I told you the other night, I...I want there to be an us. I want there to be an us forever. Hannah Grace Shepherd," he said, dropping to one knee, "will you marry me?" _

_"Umm...oh wow...Keith. I...I don't know what to say." _

_"Yes would be nice." He said, "but...but no pressure." _

_"No pressure?" she said, "my parents...Halle's inlaws...my inlaws...and you say no pressure?" _

_"Umm...ok..." he said, beginning to panic and getting up, but Hannah grabbed his hand before he could. "Wait, did you just say your inlaws?" He asked. _

_"Yes, Keith, I did. And yes, I will marry you." _

_"Get the liquor," Mark says over the commotion. _

"So, dinner went well." Meredith says to me, as we lay in bed later that night.

"Yeah," I say, pulling her close, so her head rests on my chest. "Yeah it did."

"What's up?" She asks, looking up at me.

"Our girls are engaged."

"They are." she answers, sliding up so her head is resting under my chin.

"I knew they would eventually, grow up. But...but it just seems like they were little yesterday. Little and playing dress up."

_I stretch as I roll over and look at the guest room clock. 9am. I can't remember the last time I slept until 9. I panic briefly and then realize it's Saturday. It's Saturday and I have two daughters and their mother is still in the hospital. Hard to believe that two months ago I was living in New York, throwing myself into work, and now...now I'm throwing myself into tea parties. And I couldn't be happier. _

_I wonder if my girls are up as I walk out of the guest room and down the hall to Mer's room. Well, our room I guess. I had meant to get my own apartment when I moved out here, but...but that hadn't happened. I just always seemed to find myself here, falling into bed with Mer, and at the end of the day, that was all I wanted. But for the past month, ever since the accident, I...I haven't been able to bring myself to sleep in there. It...it just seems wrong, sleeping in Meredith's bed without her there. _

_As I approach the girl's rooms, I wonder if they're up yet, or if they're sleeping in as well. God I hope so, none of us have gotten much sleep lately. I get closer to their rooms, and notice that Hannah's door is closed and further down, Halle's is wide open. I can see from where I am that Halle's bed is empty. She must have slept in Hannah's bed, she's been doing that a lot lately, I'm not sure if it's for her benefit or her sister's, but if they can offer each other comfort that I can't, I'm all for it. _

_I pause in front of Hannah's door when I hear laughter. Laughter...both of them, laughing...wow...I haven't heard that in...well, since the accident, not like this. I take a deep breath, deciding if I should open the door or not. Part of me wants to knock, and see what exactly has improved their moods, but at the same time, they haven't laughed in so long, I feel guilty interrupting them. Before I can contemplate any further, the door to Hannah's room is flung open, and I'm face to face with my girls. _

_"Hi Daddy," says Hannah, almost colliding with me, "Sorry, did we wake you?" _

_"No...not at all," I say, smiling at them. "What are you lovely ladies up to this morning?" I ask, trying not to laugh myself at their appearance. _

_"Playing wedding." Hannah answers, a white sheet covering her pajamas. _

_"Wedding?" I ask. _

_"Yeah..." Halle tells me, wrapped in an identical white sheet, with a pillowcase on her head. _

_"What's with the pillow case?" _

_"It's a veil." She told me. _

_"Duh..." said Hannah, rolling her eyes. _

_"Duh..." I repeat back to her, causing her to giggle. "So," I ask them, "who are we marrying?" _

_"Halle's marrying Will." Hannah chants. _

_"I am not." Halle says, pulling the pillowcase down to cover her head. _

_"Ok," I say to her softly, kneeling down in front of her and lifting the pillowcase up, exposing her eyes. They're so happy, happier than I've seen them in a long time, the last thing I want to do is cause a fight. _

_"I'm going to walk down the stairs." She tells me. "And you're going to wait at the bottom." _

_"Ok." I tell her. _

_"And then we're going to get in a limo, and go to the church." she tells me. _

_"Ok." I say again, "What do you want?" I ask, looking at Hannah. _

_"I want to get married on a ferry boat." she said, matter of factly. "I love ferryboats." _

_I just smiled at her, "me too, sweetie." When I first met them, Halle warmed to me immediately. Maybe it was because she looked like me, maybe because we drove across the country together, I don't know, but she was my daughter from the get go. Hannah...Hannah was different. She seemed like Meredith's daughter. Or something. Not that I loved her any less or her calling me 'daddy' was any less warming, but it was just different. Until that moment. It was then I fell in love with her all over again. She loved ferryboats...she was my daughter. _

_"Daddy, you're crying." Hannah said, running a hand down my cheek. _

_"Nah.." I tell them reassuringly. "Daddy's fine. Now," I say to them, "Who wants breakfast?" I ask, scooping both of them up. _

_"Can we have pancakes?" Halle asks. _

_"I want french toast. Izzie makes good french toast." _

_"How about this?" I ask them, "You can have whatever you want." _

_"Really?" they both ask at the same time. _

_"Of course." I say as we reach the kitchen. _

_Setting Halle down at the table and picking Hannah up and placing her in the chair next to Halle, I get to work cooking. As I cook breakfast, I take in my little girls, smiling and laughing, and make a wish...a wish for them to stay as happy as they are right now, forever. _

I feel Mer reach up and wipe a tear off my cheek. "When did they grow up?" I ask her.

"Right in front of our eyes." she tells me, draping her arm over my chest.

I look down at her, hair ruffled from our earlier activities, eyes closed, and her face peaceful, and after all these years, I still don't think I would find anything more beautiful.

"Derek."

"Yes," I answer, half questioning, generally sleeping people don't talk.

"Stop looking at me."

"I like to look at you." I tell her, hugging her. "You see Mer, when I look at you, the rest of the world, the rest of the world just fades away. Looking at you, just...just that, that's all I need to do to know I can get through anything."

"I love you," she says, opening her eyes and crawling further up to kiss me. She settles back into me, and we lay there, as if we were the only two people in the world. "You ok?" She asks, breaking the silence.

"Yeah," I tell her, "Yeah I am. I mean, I thought it would be weird. And it was weird. But then the proposal...and how happy Hannah was...and talking to Mark, it's almost...it's almost like I forget he's anything more than a friend. And Addison is happy...and we...we're happy. So, thank you," I say to her.

"Thank you for what?" she asks.

"For being here...for being you...for sitting your bony butt on my lap...for putting up with a jackass who carries a 26 year grudge."

"But you're getting there." she says. "You're letting go."

"I know." I tell her, looking down into her eyes, eyes full of love, and want and need and desire. "Mer?" I ask, running a hand down her face.

"Please..." She says softly, rolling on top of me. I pull her down to kiss her, and then stop suddenly. "What?" she asks, her eyes full of worry.

"Sorry," I say to her, kissing her again, "I just...I just don't want to think that this same thing is going on down the hall." I say, eluding to Halle, who currently had Will spending the night.

"They're getting married," Mer said, before her lips come crashing down on mine. And then, then I'm done. Like I said, when it comes to Mer, I have no self control, it's sad, really. But, as we become one that night, all is right with the world.

And later, as I'm holding her close while she drifts off, I realize that despite all the twists and turns my life has experienced, I wouldn't change it for anything. I have Mer...and the girls...and that's all that matters. "I love you Mer," I whisper, before drifting off myself, cradling her against my chest.


	40. Halle 9

A/N: this one is a little shorter…but its short and sweet. The girls are 23…should be 4 more after this one…but who knows…

Love the comments…I think im finally caught up with the replies.

Enjoy!

**Seattle 2030 **

As I slip on my little red dress, I can't help but wonder why my parents flew us home for our birthday this year. It's times like this that I wish I hadn't been born on Valentine's Day. All I wanted for Valentine's Day and my Birthday was to see Will, it's been...it's been too long. This whole opposite coast thing, not working so well, even if it is short term. May can't come fast enough. Once my dad informed me that Hannah and I would be coming home for our twenty-third birthdays, I tried to get Will to meet me here, but he had stuff in Boston to catch up on. God, I miss him so much, it's almost sick.

I take a deep breath and check myself out in my full-length mirror and smile with satisfaction, despite my sadness, I do look pretty hot.

"Don't worry, you're hot," Hannah says, interrupting my thoughts.

"Don't you knock?" I ask her.

"Have I ever?"

"Point taken."

"Seriously Halle, you look gorgeous. But you seem so sad."

"I just...it's Valentine's Day...and our birthday. It just doesn't seem right without Will being here."

"I know sweetie," she says, hugging me. "But, we'll have fun anyway. I promise. By the end of the night, you'll be happy."

"Cause I'll be drunk?" She didn't answer me, she just bit her lip, which is Hannah code for I have a secret. "What do you know that you're not telling me?"

"Nothing." her voice tells me, but her face tells another story.

"Seriously? Hannah, I know you. I know better. I know when you're hiding something."

"Seriously...anyway, mom wanted me to make sure you were ready. I think she's coming up in a minute, she wants to give you something. I'll send her up." She tells me, moving for the door.

"Hannah, when I find out whatever it is that you're hiding...and I will. I'm going to kill you."

"Whatever." She responds, walking out the door and closing it behind her.

Gah...if there's one thing I hate, it's feeling like everyone knows something and I'm out of the loop.

"Wow...baby, you look gorgeous." My mom says as she opens the door.

"I don't like my hair." I tell her, "and...and I want to be happy, but I'm not. It's Valentine's Day and my birthday, and Will is 3000 miles away." I tell her, trying not to cry.

"I know baby," she says, reaching up to fix my hair. As I watch her fix my hair, I remember why I miss living at home. A small smile crosses my lips as she finishes. "There, you're gorgeous." She tells me, stepping back.

"Thanks, mom. You don't look so bad yourself," I tell her, taking her appearance in. And she does look really good, nowhere near the fifty years that she is. Her dress is gorgeous; long, black, and slit up the side, making her look even more tall and slender. "Has dad seen you yet? Cause if not, we might miss our reservation."

"Ha. I thought that grossed you out."

"Take it any further, and it will. But seriously, it's Valentine's Day, someone should be getting some." I tell her. She just looks back at me with a smirk.

"I came up here so I could give you something." She tells me, picking up the bag she set on my bed.

"Yeah, Hannah mentioned that." I said, turning away from the mirror to face her.

I watch as she pulls a small box out of the bag, "You know that I am so proud of you Halle, right. Of all that you have accomplished. I couldn't have asked for anything more from you. I..I just want you to know that," she tells me, handing me the box, "This was my mother's," she said as she handed it to me. I reached out and took the box from her, then carefully opened it. Inside was a small heart pendant.

"Mom...it's...it's beautiful..." I say, close to tears.

"Turn it over." She whispered, trying not to tear up herself.

I gently take it out of the box and turn it over, on the back is a simple inscription, 'Love is forever'.

"Wow..." Is all I manage to get out before flinging myself into her arms. We stay like that for a few minutes, embracing each other, silent tears running down our cheeks. "I love you mom." I whisper.

"I love you too baby." she replies, hugging me again. And I know she does. We've been through so much, and we don't always see eye to eye, and we're not as close as she and Hannah are, but at that moment, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that we've weathered the storms, enjoyed the sun, and we've always come out on the other side together.

"Crap." she says, breaking the silence.

"Crap?"

"We're going to be late...and we have to fix make-up." She tells me. "Here," she says, taking the necklace from me and spinning me around. She clasps the necklace and spins me back around. "There, now you're stunning. Well, you will be once you fix that make-up."

"Ha!" I tell her, wiping the last few tears that were running down my cheeks.

"Go," she said, practically pushing me out the door, "your father won't want to be late."

"He just needs to understand that true beauty takes time." I tell her, "And he's just going to have to wait."

"Baby, I've been trying to teach him that for years. If you figure out how, let me know." She says, before scurrying off to her bedroom to fix her own make-up.

"Halle Ellis!" I hear my dad yell up the stairs a few minutes later, "We are going to miss our reservation if you do not get down here right now."

"Just a sec." I yell back, "Beauty takes patience." I tell him as I shut off the light and walk out of the bathroom.

I stop at the top of the stairs when I see him waiting at the bottom. He stands at the bottom of the stairs, off to the right, in a full tux, holding a single rose. Wow, I'm surprised mom didn't rip his clothes off right then and there...seriously, those two...no self control, it's sad, really. I look down to him at the same moment he looks up at me and our eyes meet.

"Come on gorgeous," He called up to me, extending his hand. "Your chariot awaits."

I walk down to him with a smile on my face. Something is definitely up, I just can't for the life of me figure out what it is. I reach the bottom of the stairs and take his extended hand. He brings my hand up and kisses the top of my knuckles before handing me the rose. "Happy Valentine's Day and Birthday baby girl." He tells me.

"Thanks dad." I tell him, dropping his hand and pulling him in for a hug.

"Are you ready for a spectacular evening?" he asked.

"I am," I tell him with a smile, despite my missing Will. Whatever is going on, he's obviously worked hard on it and the last thing I want to do is crush him. "Where are mom and Hannah?" I ask.

"They went on ahead," he told me, "to make sure we'd still have our reservation."

"I didn't take that long." I tell him, rolling my eyes.

"Well, shall we?" He asked, extending a hand, which I accept and let him lead me outside.

Once we get outside, my breath hitches in surprise. "A limo!" I ask him in shock.

"A limo," he tells me, as we walk over and the driver gets out to let us in.

"What..." I ask, giving him a smirk.

"All in due time princess." He said, smirking right back at me.

As Dad and I walk into the restaurant arm in arm, I can't shake the feeling that something is going on. It's similar to the one I had at the hospital when we found out who our dad was. The hostess just nods as we pass the stand and head towards the stairs to the banquet room.

"Dad," I ask, "Seriously, what is going on?"

"Patience is a virtue my dear," he tells me, leading me down the stairs. My breath draws in as I see a room full of people, mom and Hannah, Izzie and George, Miranda and Tucker...Miranda and Tucker? And at the bottom of the staircase holding a rose, off to the left stands my forever. "Just breathe," dad whispers to me as we reach the bottom and he lets go of me.

Will hands me the rose and takes my hand as my dad walks over to join my mom, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her into him. "Halle Ellis Shepherd," he begins, "I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you forever." he said with a chuckle, "since that night I took you to the seventh grade formal." he told me smiling. "And I want to love you forever. I want to go to sleep with you every night and wake up with you every morning. I want to start a family with you and grow old with you and do everything in between with you. I want to laugh with you and dry your tears and give you the white picket fences you deserve." he said, his eyes watering as he pulled a box from his pocket and dropped to one knee. My eyes had begun to tear up for the second time that night as I realized what was happening.

"Hays," he said, using the nickname he gave me when we were kids. "Will you marry me?"

I bit my lip and nodded my head, not trusting my voice. He took my shaking hand and slid on the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. "It was my grandmother's," he said softly.

"I love you Will," I said, taking his hands and pulling him into a hug. He stood and put his lips to mine. We kissed slowly at first, and then one of us deepened it, it was like we were the only two people in the world. I'm not sure how long the moment lasted before it was interrupted by the cheering of our friends and family behind us.

I always thought that this moment would come and I wouldn't be ready, that I would be scared of stepping forward, scared that I was making a mistake, scared that I would wake up and none of it would be real. But that night, as we danced, and he held me in his arms, everything, everything just felt right. And I knew, I knew that as long as we had each other, everything would always be right.


	41. Derek 14

A/N: more cuteness…..

Thank you for the reviews…glad everyone is still enjoying….40 some chapters later….getting near the end…but a few more to go 

Still don't own anything…

**Seattle 2032 **

"Can you believe our baby girl is getting married tomorrow?" Meredith asks me.

"I'm...I'm trying not to." I tell her, "It seems like just yesterday..." I say, voice trailing off.

"Yeah it does." She agrees with me.

"I think I'm in denial." I tell her, taking a sip of my drink.

"denial...it's not a river in Egypt...it's a freaking ocean." She says, taking a sip of tequila. I just look at her and chuckle. "What?" she asks me, "Do you find me amusing?"

"It's good to know that somethings never really change. At 27, you were all about tequila, and now, after everything we've been through; children and marriage and accidents and illness, at 50, you're still all about tequila. Although, I like that you've gone past the shot glass and straight to the cup." I tell her, before pulling her closer to me and whispering in her ear, "And babe, I always find you amusing."

She looks back at me with a smirk, "Do that again, and I will take you right here and now."

"I'd totally take you right here and now," I whisper in her ear, the same way I did before, and then spin her into me so her forehead rests against mine. I look into her eyes, seeing years of love, before covering my lips with hers.

"Oh, get a room." says a voice, approaching us, and ruining my perfect moment with my wife.

"Good to see some things never change," I say as Mer pulls away from me.

"Christina!!!" She yells, leaving me and hugging her friend.

"Yes, some things never change," Christina repats, "Including the fact that I don't hug." She says, pushing Meredith off of her.

"Preston," I say, extending my hand.

"Derek," he says as we shake hands. "Good to see you."

"You guys too," I tell them, once Christina and Meredith have gotten over seeing each other for the first time in a few months.

"I was worried you guys weren't going to make it."

"And miss thing 2's wedding to the nazi's son? Seeing this is almost better than surgey. Almost." Christina told Mer.

"Which brings her to her second point, why we're late," Burke explained. Christina shot daggers at him.

"You had a surgery." Meredith says for her.

"You know me so well."

"That's why I'm your person."

"So, San Francisco's treating you well?" I ask them.

"Very much so." Burke tells me

"You just like being the boss." Christina throws out there.

"He's not the only one," Mer adds.

"We aren't the only ones," I tell Mer, grabbing a hold of her and pulling her into me so her back is against my chest.

"Yeah, yeah, the coordinating days off are a nice perk." Christina nods her head at that one.

"Can you guys...I don't know...go molest each other somewhere else?" Izzie says as she walks up from behind me.

"Hey, for your information, I think we're being very good." I say as she and George join our group.

"Yeah...uh huh. Cause I didn't see you drag her into the supply closet about an hour ago." I feel Mer tense up in my arms as that comment leaves Izzie's mouth. I don't need to look down at her to know her face is beat red.

"And that would be because the two of you had your eyes on it...too bad I got there first," I tell them, causing a fit of laughter to errupt and Izzie to turn red.

"Anyone heard from Alex lately?" Izzie asks once the laughter has died down.

Everyone shakes their head, "Last I heard, he had a very lucrative plastic surgery practice in LA." Meredith said.

"Can you guys believe, that after all this, we're still here?" George asks.

"And still friends." Meredith adds.

"And married." says Christina. "Who'd have thought I'd get married. And then have a kid."

"Where is Mia anyway?" Meredith asks of Christina's eleven year-old daughter.

"Seattle Grace, sleeping in an oncall room."

"Christina!" both Izzie and Meredith hiss. "What? It's only across the street and you did it for years, Mer."

"I never left the premises and I work at Seattle Grace."

"She's with the Webber's." Burke calmly tells us.

"Christina!" Mer says again, and swats her friend.

"What? I thought it was funny."

"It was..." George said, earning himself stares from both my wife and his. "It wasn't funny...right...not...funny."

"Shut up, bambi."

"You know," I say, "twenty five years, and nothing has changed. We've grown up, we've moved on, but...we're still us. Twenty five years ago, we all began a new chapter in our lives, whether or not we knew it at the time. And...and twenty five years later, here we are, once again, at Joe's."

"Awww...Shepherd, you're gonna make me cry." Miranda says sarcastically as she and Tucker join our group.

"We we're having a moment." I tell her.

"You," she says, looking at Meredith and I, "do not need anymore moments. And before you ask, yes I know. I know all, I see all."

"You guys are going to be related to her," Christina says, shaking her head.

"You mean, I'm going to be related to them. Me, related to one of my suck-ups...who is still friends with all of my other suck-ups."

"Did you ever think..." Mer starts to ask her.

"Yes, you know what I did. I didn't want to...but my son looks at your daughter the way he looks at you." She said, pointing from me to Meredith. "Damn lovesick fools..."

"But look how happy they are." Meredith says, leaning into me.

Miranda nods her head as she takes in her son and our daughter, arm in arm, talking and laughing with some friends. "They've really grown up." She said, and I'd swear I saw a few tears in her eyes.

"Yeah...yeah, they have." I say softly.

"You think it's time to get them out of here?" Miranda asks later, after George and Izzie begged off so Izzie could put the final touches on the Wedding cake and Burke and Christina left to retrive Mia from the Webber's.

"Might not be a bad call," I answer her, "but they look like they're having fun and no one is doing keg stands yet."

"Sometimes you really scare me." Mer says, and I just look at her with a blank look on my face, "Keg stands? Seriously? Do people even do those anymore?"

"Ok," Miranda says, "Time to go, we've got a big day tomorrow." She reaches down for Tucker's hand, which he gives her and stands with her. "We'll see you tomorrow, inlaws..." Miranda says, shaking her head. "And tell Halle I already glued Will's window shut."

"Do I want to know?" I ask, looking at Mer, as Tucker and Miranda leave to retrieve their son.

"I don't think I want to know." She replies and then starts laughing.

"What?" I ask her. She says nothing, just continues to laugh and points behind my head. I spin my head around to take in the scene behind me and it's not long before I'm laughing too.

Will was holding on to my daughter for dear life while Miranda was trying to pull them apart. That has since failed, and she's going at him with her purse. Once they break apart, Miranda smacks her son one last time to get him out the door before hugging Halle goodbye.

"That," I begin.

"Priceless." Mer sums up for me.

"Do we need to get Halle out of here? She won't be pleased if she's hung over tomorrow." I say, thinking back to her 21st birthday.

_"There's my girl," I say as she comes into view. _

_"I feel like I've been hit by a truck," Halle says, walking up and hugging me. "Wait, make that two." _

_"Do you have bags?" I ask her, releasing her from my arms. _

_"Nope. That was the choice this morning, bags or me, we weren't both going to make it down the stairs. Everything is in here," she said, gesturing to her backpack. "And anything else I need, I'll dig out of my closet or steal it from mom's." _

_"Shall we?" I ask, offering her my arm. _

_"We shall." She says, taking my arm and letting me lead her out to the car. _

_"Are you hungry?" I ask, "Do you want to stop and get breakfast?" _

_"No," she moans from the seat next to me, eyes closed to avoid the sunlight. "I want water...water and crackers." _

_I look over with a curious eye and take in my daughter, clad in jeans, sneakers, a Harvard hoodie, pony tail, and glasses. It's then that it hits me, she's more than just tired. "Are you...hungover?" I ask her, trying to sound upset. _

_"I turned 21 last night. What do you think?" _

_"I thought you were tired." _

_"I am." _

_"I can't believe you're hungover. My little girl...I can't believe you would do that." _

_"Seriously? What are you? A saint? Like you've never been hungover." All I can do is smirk. "That's what I thought." She says, "Now, can you take me to the store and get whatever it is you used to fix your hangovers?"_

"That," Meredith says, "is not our problem." I respond with a confused look. "Hannah?" She yells across the bar. I watch as Hannah's eyes meet her mother's and she heads over. I sit back, unsure of what Meredith has planned. She stands to greet our daughter and pulls a keycard out of her pocket as she does so.

"I was wondering how much longer you were going to let that go on." Hannah says, reaching our table and gesturing back to Halle and her friends.

"4301," Meredith says, handing Hannah the key.

"Thanks."

"No problem," Meredith tells her and Hannah begins to walk away, "Hannah," Mer calls to her retreating back, "be safe." she says as Hannah turns around.

"We will." Hannah replies before heading back to Halle and her friends.

Once she leaves, I look at Mer with questioning eyes. "What?" She asks me.

"What's going on?" I ask her. She doesn't reply right away, but instead, slides around our circular booth so that she's resting against me. I instinctively wrap my arm around her and pull her closer.

"Well, Halle is very drunk. And when she's drunk, she's..."

"Hyper?"

"Yes. Add that to the fact her wedding is tomorrow and all her friends are in town and also drunk, and you get really hyper. So, I thought I'd send them all to the hotel across from the space needle."

"You sent our baby away the night before her wedding?" I ask, chuckling.

"Why yes, yes I did Dr. Shepherd. I sent both of our babies away for the night, meaning we have the house to ourselves, and if you're lucky, I might let you take advantage..." I don't hear the rest of her sentace because my lips are already on hers.

"I love you, you know that." I tell her, "And everyday, I find more reasons to love you." I say smiling. "After eleven years of marriage, you still take my breath away."

"I love you too," she says, "and if you don't stop," she says, grabbing my hand that seems to have found its way up her thigh, "we're going to be going for round two in the supply closet."

"Eleven years." I say, pulling her to lean against me, "Remember when we were in Halle and Will's place?"

_"Izzie and Christina know how to throw a party," I say to Mer as I help her put her shirt back on. _

_"Yeah, if anyone knows how to throw a party, it's Izzie," she says. "Remember the last party they threw?"_

_"The one where I took you for a ride?" I ask, pulling her into me again and breathing down her neck._

_"Seriously?" She said, pulling away, "you need to stop. We can't spend the night in here. And if you don't stop, we will be."_

_"You know they're going to split us up tonight." I told her. She doesn't say anything, but I can feel her frown against my lips. "I could always sneak over..."_

_"Derek Shepherd," she said, swatting me, "You will do no such thing. It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. So, once we leave here, there will be no seeing me until I walk down that aisle."_

_"Are you sure?" I ask her._

_"Yes."_

_"Are you sure, you're sure?" I ask, running my hand down her face, over her chest and down to her leg._

_"Yes..." she said a little softer, and I could feel her losing control as I held her._

_"Seriously?" I asked again, as one hand pushed her hair behind her ear and cupped her face and the other found its way into her jeans._

_"Derek..." she moaned softly. "We..." I think she moaned something about having to get back, but I couldn't really understand, we were both too lost in each other. _

_Knowing that it would be twenty-four hours before we got to touch again, we took our time, surrendering to each other for a second time that night. And when it was over, I stood there, holding her, knowing that there was no place I'd rather be._

"_Do you think they know we're gone?" I asked her._

_"You two are like rabbits, get out of the closet." _

_"Christina..." Meredith tried to plead through the door. "Does that answer your question?" she says to me._

_"Seriously Mer, rabbits. Say your goodbyes and get out here, it's time to go."_

_"I love you Mer," I say, kissing her as she giggles._

_"I love you too. God, I'm going to miss you tonight."_

_"I know. But, I'll be thinking about you."_

"I still can't believe you did our whole room in roses for me."

"Anything for the woman I love." I told her, picking her hand up and kissing her knuckles. "And I wanted you to have a rose for every time I though of you that night. But I couldn't find enough roses."

"Alright you two, it's about time for me to close up. Big day tomorrow or something." Joe says, coming over and interrupting our trip down memory lane.

"Something like that." Meredith says as I stand and then offer her my hand, which she takes allowing me to help her up. Once we're standing, Joe hands me our coats.

"Since when does this place have table service?" I ask, taking the coats from him.

"It doesn't." he responds, "I just didn't want the two of you alone in my coat room." All three of us laugh as I put on my coat and then help Mer with hers.

"Just so you know," Joe calls to us as we're walking out, my arm around her shoulders, "I was always pulling for you. I knew you'd find a way to this day."

"Thanks, Joe," I call, pulling Meredith closer to me as we finally leave the bar.

"So," she says once we're in the parking lot.

"So," I say back, standing infront of my Mercedes. "We have the evening to ourselves."

"The evening? I think this qualifies as morning Derek."

"The morning then," I say, as she opens the car door and pulls something out.

"You know," she says, "I know this place, where we can watch the sunrise over the ferryboats," she tells me, walking around the front of the car to meet me, and pulling a bottle of wine out of the bag she grabbed.

"You do, do you," I say as my hands find their way to her hips.

"Take me for a ride, Derek." She said, before allowing our lips to meet.


	42. meredith 8

A/N: sorry for the delay, hopefully this is worth it…lots of flashbacks….

LOVE the reviews….glad you guys are still enjoying this 40 chapters later….3 left after this one…

And tonites ep…wow…there are no words….

Still don't own anything.

**Seattle 2032 **

"You're going to get all nostalgic on me and cry, aren't you?" Halle asks me.

"I'm your mom and you're my baby and you're getting married, that's my job." I tell her, watching her walk over and open her closet door. I fight to hold back tears as she reaches out and runs a hand down her dress. "You're going to be gorgeous, baby." I tell her. She looks back at me, biting her lip in a smile.

"I...I...I'm excited," she tells me, walking over and sitting next to me on the bed, "but I'm also nervous. God I'm nervous, and scared. When did I grow up? And how do I make it stop?"

I chuckle and wrap an arm around her, pulling her into me, "Well babe, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that you can't. You can't rewind, you can't pause, you can just play, so, my love, play like hell." I feel her bury her face into my side, but rather than cry, I feel her laughing, so I start laughing with her. God I love her, and I'd say I'm going to miss her, but in all reality, she grew up a long time ago. As I pull her against me and hug her again, I can't help but wonder where the time went.

_It takes me a minute to remember as my eyes flutter open. Then it all floods back to me at once, labor, squeezing George's hand, Hannah being born, Derek's shirt being cut off, complications with Halle, surgery..SURGERY…_

"_Hey, welcome back," Izzie said softly, realizing I had awoken._

"_Are they…is she…where…is that them?" I ask all at once, never having been so nervous in my life. _

"_This," she said, moving closer to the bed, and bending down so I could see the tiny pink bundle in her arms, "is Hannah. And that," she said, motioning for George to come closer, "is Halle." George moves so he was standing on the other side of my bed, I instinctively reached my hands out for the yellow bundle, and he happily placed her in my arms. _

_I looked at my sleeping daughter, and ran a hand over her face, "is she…" I asked, looking up at Izzie, unsure if I wanted the answer._

"_Ten fingers, ten toes," she whispered. "They're perfect, Mer."_

"_Can I?" I asked her, shifting the yellow bundle into my left arm._

"_Of course," she said, placing the small pink bundle in my right._

_I looked down again, taking in the sight of my two sleeping angels. I had never believed in love at first sight, but that had all changed in a matter of moments. I watched as my yellow bundle began to stir, first kicking her legs, then opening her deep blue eyes, and finally yawning, before closing her eyes again._

"_They are perfect," I whispered, a tear rolling down my cheek. _

"Whatcha thinking about?" Halle's voice interrupts my thoughts.

"You," I tell her, "And the day you were born."

"Thank you," she says, hugging me again. I feel her shudder again, but this time, I know she's crying, and if not, she's about to.

"For what baby?" I ask.

"For...for deciding to be a mom, I...I know it wasn't easy and I know there was a lot to think about. And I'm sure that sometimes, I made you regret it, and...and I'm sorry."

_"Can we go home?" I ask Christina, slamming my arms against the armrests in my car and gripping them so hard my knuckles turn white. _

_"Mer, we haven't even pulled out of the driveway yet." She told me, putting the car back in park and turning to look at me. "You don't have to do this, you know." _

_"I know." I told her, watching the rain crash on to the windshield. _

_"Just...just do what you want." _

_"I can't." I said, not turning to face her, but instead continuing to watch the rain. _

_"You can't what?" she asked, putting a hand on my shoulder, "you can do this...George and Izzie, they'll help. I'll help. Wow, I can't believe I just said that, me, take care of a baby...this is me, being supportive, take a picture, cause you won't see it very often." _

_"I can't kill the baby." I said, eyes still fixed on the rain, and tears running down my cheeks. _

_"Ok," Christina said. _

_"I'm not so sure I can have one either...but...but I'll figure it out, right?" _

_"You'll figure it out." She told me, unbuckling her seatbelt and wrapping an arm around me. _

_"You realize this constitutes hugging?" _

_"Shut up, I'm your person. And you do realize you're having a baby." _

_"I'm having a baby." I say, taking a deep breath. It's then I realize I'm really nauseous again. I pull out of Christina's grasp and open the door, just in time to empty the contents of my stomach onto the driveway. Christina just looked at me slightly bewildered. "It seemed fitting," I told her, "I'm having a baby, I thought I'd celebrate by doing what I've done every day for the past two weeks." _

_Christina just sighed and ran a hand down my back, "you're going to be alright, Mer," she said, getting out of the car. _

"Oh baby," I say, pulling her closer to me with my left arm, if that was even possible. I reach down to lift her chin with my right hand so our eyes meet, "I have never once regretted having you guys. You and your sister are my world."

"I love you mom," she tells me, tears running down her face, "and seriously, thank you, for...for being there even when I didn't want you there, and for loving me when I probably didn't deserve it, and for being the best mom a girl could ask for," she barely gets out before falling into my chest again.

"I love you too baby," I tell her, and hold while she cries. I could tell her that everything is going to be ok, that she's marrying her one true love, that they're going to live happily ever after in a house with white picket fences, but I don't. I just hold her and rub her back, and let her cry, knowing she needs a moment to come to terms with growing up.

"I guess I can't be an eight year-old tree urchin forever," she says after a few minutes of silence. "It's a shame," she tells me, shaking her head, "life was so much easier when you could kiss my booboos and make them better."

"_Mom!" I hear Halle scream as I'm finishing up a load of laundry. "Owwww…I want my mom." Hearing her tears, I leave the laundry and rush out towards the front of the house to get her. _

_We meet in the kitchen, me running from the laundry room and Halle, in the arms of Izzie, coming from the front door. I immediately notice a bloody gash on her knee. "Baby, what happened?" I ask, holding out my arms and taking her from Izzie, careful not to bump her injured leg. "Thank you," I mouth to Izzie as my eight year-old cries into my chest. I sit down at the kitchen table and rock her for a minute, until her tears subside._

"_Mom…" she said softly._

"_I'm here baby, it's ok." I tell her as she looked up at me with big blue eyes and a tear-stained face._

"_I…I fell out of the tree." She told me, before the tears started to fall again._

"_Oh, baby," I said, hugging her to me. "What hurts?" I asked her softly._

"_I cut my leg. On the tree." She said, tears subsiding once again. "I tried to climb the tree in the front yard, like I always do, but…but it was wet. From the rain…and I fell."_

"_But nothing else hurts?"_

"_No."_

"_Ok then," I said, standing up with her. "I know just how to fix it."_

"_You do?" she asks, looking at me wide-eyed as I set her on the counter._

"_I do." I tell her as I open a cabinet and take out peroxide and some bandages._

"_It's going to hurt." She says, her lower lip trembling as she tries to wiggle away from me._

"_Halle Ellis," I say to her, "calm down. It's like bubbles."_

"_Bubbles?"_

"_Bubbles." I say, dabbing a little bit of the solution on her cut. My heart wrenches as her breath draws inward and she tries not to cry. I watch her look down at her leg as the peroxide bubbles._

"_It is like bubbles." She said, looking up at me._

"_Yep, that's the germs dying."_

"_Die germs, die." She said, giggling._

"_Now there's that smile," I say as I wipe around the cut and close it with two butterflies. Lastly, I pick up the gauze and wrap it around her knee. "There," I tell her after bending down to kiss the bandage, "all better."_

"_Thanks mom," she said with a smile._

"_Now, you know what would make it even better?" I ask. She shook her head. "Cookies. And milk." I watch as a smile crosses her face. "Come on," I say, scooping her up off the counter so she's resting on my hip, "I have some in the other room."_

"Well, babe," I tell her, "some might say you've traded in being an eight year-old tree urchin for a twenty-five year-old window urchin," she bites her lip and giggles at that, "yes, I know," I tell her, "and baby, I will always try and make your boo boos better."

She smiles and hugs me, "Thank you, and I can't believe you just called me a window urchin."

"If the shoe fits."

"Miranda's scary."

"Let's not forget prom."

"Babe, I will NEVER forget that one..." I tell her laughing.

"_Are you going to yell?" Halle asked me breaking the long silence in the car. Neither of us had spoken a word that morning. She simply_ _walked down the stairs, put on her shoes, and walked out the door. Once I had followed her out to the car, she was already in the passenger seat, leaving me with little else to do but get in the car and drive._

"_Do you want me to?" I ask her._

"_No…but, if you were, and you did, then it would be over. Which is much better than anticipating it."_

"_I'm not going to yell."_

"_You're not? Miranda did…"_

"_I did not see what Miranda saw, if I had, I might be yelling. But, I'm just…"_

"_We were safe." She told me. I just nod my head, still trying to come to terms with the fact that my little girl has grown up. "And…and God I love him," she said, looking at me with tears in her eyes. It was at that moment I realized that she really had grown up, that she had given her heart to someone and had been given a heart in return._

"_Are you, ok?" I asked her slowly, unsure how far she would let me go down this road before shutting me out. But at the same time, wanting to be there for her, like I wished someone had been there for me._

"_I'm…I'm fine. It hurt a little, at the beginning, but we went slow and gentle and it was…full of love." I look at her as she says that last part, and notice the smile that crossed her face, wow, she has it bad._

"_Your first time is like that." I reached down, took her hand, and squeezed it, half surprised that she let me. "We should see about getting you on the pill." I said, "not that I'm condoning this, but, you're going to college, away from me, the same college, and I know how much you and Will love each other…" I tell her, my voice trailing off._

"_Mom," she said, squeezing my hand, "thanks."_

_I squeeze her hand back as I nod my head. We ride the rest of the way home, hand in hand, in comfortable silence, as I make flaccid attempts to wrap my head around the fact that my child is no longer a child._

"I'm glad we can look back on it now and laugh." Halle tells me, reaching for a bottle of nail polish currently residing on her bedside table. "Can you paint my toes?" she asks, holding out the bottle of nail polish.

"Didn't you get that done this morning?" I ask her, taking the bottle from her.

She shook her head, "nails and hair. I...I wanted you to do them. And help me with my make-up. If that's ok. If not, I guess Hannah could do it...or.."

"Halle," I say, laying a hand on her thigh to stop her, "you're rambling. And I would be honored." I tell her. "Now, swing your feet up here," I say, sliding further down the bed and taking her feet in my lap. As I paint her toes, my mind floats back to her gymnast days, when this was our weekly ritual, usually in some hotel room somewhere.

"We used to do this a lot." Halle says, interrupting my thoughts once again. "Back in the day, in some seedy hotel room," she says, chuckling.

"I did not take you anywhere seedy." I tell her, half serious, half laughing.

"Sure you didn't, that's why you used to barracade the door with chairs."

"I was trying to keep us safe," I say to her, pushing her feet on the floor. "All set."

"All you were doing," Halle says, standing up, "was making it harder for us to get out, should we have needed to."

"Do you have everything you need?" I ask her, "something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. And I think there's something about a six pence in your shoe...but I didn't do that and I ended up just fine."

"I am not sticking a penny in my shoe." Halle says, "I have blue eyes..." she tells me laughing, "but seriously, my garter has blue in it. I am NOT wearing the 'something blue' underwear Aunt Christina gave me. Something borrowed...I'm wearing Hannah's underwear..." my jaw drops at this one, "totally kidding mom, I borrowed the nail polish from her though, does that count? And something new, Miranda gave me these last night," she said, pulling out a pair of diamond earings from a bag on her dresser, "And lastly, something old," she said, walking over to the bedside table and opening the small jewlry box, pulling out my mother's necklace, "would you?" she asked, holding it out to me.

With tears in my eyes, I reached out and took the necklace from her. "Of course," I say in barely a whisper, and spin her around much like I did the night of her engagement. As I drape the necklace over her and open the clasp, the sadness of not being able to have this moment with my own mother creeps up on me.

"_Meredith?" I sighed deeply and rolled my eyes back at the sound of my mother's voice. Things between us had been tense in high school, and my college years, well, they hadn't done much to help the situation. And now, med school, she doesn't think I can do it, she doesn't want me to do it. Well, I don't want her to have Alzheimer's so, I guess on some level, we're even._

"_Yeah?" I yell back, hoping I won't have to leave the sanctuary that is my room._

"_Can you come in here please?" So much for small favors, I think to myself as I climb out of the chair._

_I slowly walked down the hall toward her room, hoping I wasn't in for another round of 'why you shouldn't go to medical school,' because really, I don't know how well I'll be able to handle that. I twist the doorknob and push open the door, quietly stepping into her room. She's in the far corner, facing away from the door, and for a few minutes, it's almost like she forgot she called me in there._

"_Come here, Meredith," She said, pulling something out of her jewelry box, but not turning around. I don't speak, but walk closer to her. "Sit on the bed." She told me, I did and she followed suit. "I…I was going to wait." She began, fidgeting with a small box. "My mother gave me this on my wedding day," she said, opening the box, revealing a beautiful necklace, "and my plan, was to do the same for you, but…but I don't know that I can. I don't know that I'll be here for your wedding day…or that if I am, I'll know what's going on. So, now is as good a time as any." She finished, holding the necklace out to me._

"_It's…it's beautiful," was all I could manage. _

"_Here," she said, taking it back, "turn around," I spun slightly so that my back was facing her and she draped the necklace around my neck and fastened the clasp. "Just…just when that day comes…think of me. And, Meredith," _

"_Yes?" I said, half questioning, half urging her to continue._

"_oh, what was it my mother said to me….ah yes, just…make sure you're doing it for you. Make sure that the man you're walking towards is your forever. He might not be the easiest one to hold on to, but make sure he's the one you want to…hold on to. Remember it might not be an easy road, but don't let go because it's the easy thing to do, but on the other hand, don't hold on because you're afraid to let go. Go for butterflies, go for passion, go for the white picket fences you deserve."_

"_I love you mommy," I told her, before wrapping her in a hug, probably the first hug I had given her in years._

"All set," I tell her as I clasp the necklace, "and Halle," I say, unclasping the ruby and diamond bracelet Derek had given me for our tenth anniversary, "nail polish does not count as something borrowed." I lift her tiny hand and clasp the bracelet on her. "It will match your dress, now you're all set."

"Thank you," she tells me, walking across the room to sit down at her vanity. I pause for a moment and watch her. Despite her nerves and her reservations about growing up, she already looks gorgeous. Her dark hair has been pulled half way up, leaving a few tendrils around her face and the rest cascading down her back in curls.

"I'm glad you decided to leave some of your hair down." I tell her, walking over and running a hand through her curls.

"Me too," she says, spinning in the chair to face me. I pull over a second chair and sit down to face her.

"Close your eyes," I tell her, picking up her eye shadow.

"I used to hate make-up." She says, "Wait...I still do."

"I know," I tell her chuckling.

"_Halle Ellis Shepherd!" I yell to my twelve year-old, "Do you want to have even the slightest chance of being ready when your date gets here?"_

"_I'm going to be late?" she asked in a panic as she came flying into the bathroom._

"_Not if you sit down, right now." I tell her, pointing to the covered toilet seat._

"_Do I have to wear make-up?" She asked, looking up at me with big blue eyes I had been in love with since the day she was born._

"_Not if you don't want to baby, but you told me you did a few days ago."_

"_Maybe a little…" she said, her voice trailing off._

"_Ok," I said to her, knowing there was a girl in there some place. "Here, we'll start with this," I tell her picking up the eye shadow. "Close your eyes," I smile as she obliges. "Ok, open up now." She did, and smiled up at me again. "And a little bit of blush," I said, hitting both of her cheeks._

"_Alright," I said a few minutes later, "You're all set. Have a look." I watched as she looked at herself in the mirror, blue sparkly dress, curly brown hair, and a newly made over face. Her smile brought tears to my eyes._

"_Halle," Derek yelled up the stairs a few seconds later, breaking her trance, "There's someone here for you."_

_We left the bathroom then, Halle to meet Will and me at her heels, taking a backseat once again as she grew up a little more._

"Ok," I say to her, laying the bronzer down, "you look gorgeous." I watch her open her eyes and look in the mirror. I hold my breath as I watch her smile.

"Nice job," She says to me, nodding her head. I smile back, "Are you ready?" she asks me.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I tell her, walking toward her closet. "You picked the right dress," I tell her, lifting it down. "This is totally you."

"Yeah, we did good, mom," she tells me as I take if off the hanger. "Ok," she says as she reaches to take off her shirt, "There will be no comments from the peanut gallery regarding my underwear."

"Scouts honor." I say, setting the dress down so she can step into it when she's ready. She slides out of her jeans, revealing a pair of bright red, lacy, boycut underwear. "Red panties, Halle, seriously?"

"Mo-om..."

"I know, I promised. But they do match," I told her, gesturing to the red at the top and bottom of her dress.

I watch her hand slide down her abdomen and rest over her scar. She bites her lip and slides her fingers over it. "You're gorgeous anyway," I tell her, walking over to her and wrapping my arms around her.

"Thanks, I just...it just...reminds me of a time I'm not too proud of."

"We all have those, baby."

"I just..."

"Will has seen it, right?"

"yes," she says softly.

"Then you have nothing to worry about. He loves you Halle, we all do. No matter what."

_I stand nervously in her doorway, unsure how to walk in the room. We had fought before, many times, but this, this was different. She's always been a daddy's girl, but when it came to periods and boys and sex and protection, it was always me that she ran to. And I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt._

"_Mom?" Her huddled form whispered from the bed. She sounded so scared and so little and so far away, despite the fact that she's twenty and right in front of me._

"_I'm here baby," I say, now able to cross the threshold. All the pain and anger I felt toward her before melt away as I get closer to her. The bed dwarfs her tiny frame and suddenly, she looks a lot younger than twenty. Our eyes meet and all I see is pain, which is amplified by the tear-stains on her face._

"_Mommy, I…I…I'm so sorry," She said, before curling into herself in a fit of tears._

"_Shhh," I whisper, running a hand through her hair. "You're ok. It's going to be ok." I tell her, hoping to calm her down but her tears keep flowing. "Can I lay with you?" I ask._

_She gives me what I think is a nod, so I slide into bed next to her, taking her in my arms as best as I can. "Shhh….I'm here baby."_

"_I…I…"_

"_Shhh…you don't have to talk." I told her._

"_I do." _

"_Ok," I told her, then stopping so she could say what she needed to say._

"_I…I'm sorry about earlier. I just…I feel like a horrible person. Like I did something bad. And…and I'm sorry I didn't tell anyone, I wanted to…I just…I couldn't. And I should have…cause I know you all would have been there for me…but I just…I couldn't. And I'm sorry…" she said, starting to cry again._

"_Shhh….it's ok baby, I'm here now. And I love you." I tell her, lifting her chin so our eyes meet, "and I will always love you."_

"_I love you too," she said, before burying her face in my chest and succumbing to her tears once again. _

"_It's ok," I told her over and over, while running hands through her hair and down her back until she had fallen asleep._

"Thank you. For being there...for being here...I...I don't know what I would do without you."

"I don't know what I'd do without you either baby," I tell her, trying not to cry. "Ready?" I ask her, bending down to lift the dress.

"Yes." She said confidently, as I pulled the dress up and began to lace the back of it. "All set," I say to her ten minutes later. I watch her take a breath and walk over to her full length mirror. Watching her reach out and touch the mirror takes my breath away. She is...absolutely gorgeous. The dress, the hair, the shoes, all perfect for her, but also, not the reason she's breathtakingly beautiful right now. Love, that's what it is, because nothing will ever sparkle or light up a room like a women in love.

"You look beautiful baby," I tell her, walking over and squeezing her shoulders. "I'm going to get your sister and head over now, I'll tell your dad you're just about ready. But...take your time," I tell her with a smirk. "It's your day. Make him wait."


	43. Derek 15

A/N: I am so sorry it took me this long to get this posted. I had a hard time writing it and this week was crazy…I ended up going to LA for a bit last weekend and then started this week working 12 hour days….ick….theres two more left after this one…well, one and an epilogue…hopefully ill get the next one started if not finished Sunday after I run my marathon..if I survive said marathon….

Don't own anything….other than halle and Hannah….

Derek pov…

Enjoy!!!

**Seattle 2032**

"Ok, I'm going to come down now."

I try to come up with some snide remark about how long it has taken her to get ready, but any conscience thought fades away as she appears at the top of the staircase. I watch in awe as she descends towards me, just like she had told me she would when she was ten. "Your mother put the cat in the laundry room before she left, you can walk faster," I called up to her with a smile.

"Walk faster, huh," she says with a smirk, "You try walking down a flight of stairs in stilettos."

"I think I'll leave that one to you. Besides, if I fall down the stairs, who is going to give you away?"

"If I fall down the stairs," She said, as she neared the bottom, "There aint gonna be a wedding."

I can't help but wonder where the time has gone as she walks towards me. Was it not a week ago that I drove across the country with her? Was it not yesterday Mer got her dressed up for her first dance and she walked down the stairs in a similar fashion? Seriously? Where does the time go?

I extended my hand to her once she reached the last step, which she takes with a smile. I led her down the last step and handed her the red rose I was holding, which she also took with a smile. I stepped away from her, and admired her from arms length, she was...gorgeous, and that word didn't even seem to cut it, not today. Her dress was red at the top and red at the bottom, which looked great with her hair and eyes. But there was something else, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but she...she sparkled, I wasn't sure how, but she did. She was happier than I had ever seen her. I take one last look at her before pulling her in and wrapping my arms around her, still unable to believe that Meredith and I made her.

"Shall we?" I ask, moving to lead her out the door.

"We shall," she said, linking her arm with mine as I lead her out the door and into the waiting limo. The driver opened the door and I helped Halle and her dress in the car. As I slide in next to her, I can't believe that this day is here.

"_Derek Shepherd." I say, half annoyed as I flip open my phone. It had been a long day, one too many surgeries, I had lost a patient, and all I wanted was Mer, but she was still at the hospital._

"_Dr. Shepherd, hi," The voice of Halle's boyfriend greets me. I immediately feel bad for my tone in answering the phone, and wish I had bothered to look at the caller-id._

"_Hey Will," I say to him, "everything ok?" I ask, slightly worried, Halle calls all the time, but hearing from Will, this is a first._

"_Yes, yes, everything is fine Dr. Shepherd, I…I wanted to ask you something."_

"_Ok," I tell him, noting how nervous he sounds, the confidence he inherited from his mother seemingly absent. _

"_I…I want to marry your daughter, sir." He said._

"_Will?" I asked, trying to contain myself, "Why do you sound so nervous?"_

"_Well sir, I'm calling to ask your permission to propose to Halle, it's….it's a little nerve wracking, sir."_

"_Will," I told him, again trying not to laugh, "first of all, if you're going to marry my daughter, please, call me Derek."_

"_Ok, sir…wait…did you…"_

"_I've never see her happier than when she's with you, make her happy, Will. Make her happy for the rest of her life."_

"_Thank you, sir…I…I will. Now there is one more thing that I need your help with," he began. _

"Are you going to be ok?" Hannah asks, as the last bridesmaid walks to the door and steps outside.

"Yeah," Halle whispered back, her voice barely audible.

"Ok," Hannah said, grabbing her hand and squeezing it, much like Halle had done for her all her life, "I love you."

"I love you too."

I watch as Hannah hugs Halle one last time before taking her place and stepping onto the runner and then into the church. I take a deep breath as I step closer and wrap my arm around her. She sighs and leans into me as we wait together for the music to change. As the first chords of the Wedding March begin to play, I can't believe that what started as a simple consult has gotten me here.

"_Derek?" I hear Sophie call from behind me. I sigh at the sound of her voice and I'm pretty sure my shoulders dropped a few inches as well. My train of thought quickly goes back to the chart I had been working on as I try to ignore her. "Derek?" She calls again, walking closer to the gurney I have set up shop on. How did she find me in the basement of the hospital, it's the one place I can go and have no one disturb me. Maybe if I continue to ignore her, she'll go away._

"_Derek?" She says a third time, three inches from where I'm sitting. "Are you deaf? I've called your name at least three times." She said, stopping in front of me. God I hope she doesn't ask me out again. We tried that, once, and God, it was bad, and now…now she just can't take a hint._

"_Derek?" she says a fourth time, waving a hand between the chart I'm looking at and my face. At this point, I have no choice but to look at her, so I do, and hopefully she'll see that I'm annoyed._

"_It's Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Rice, I believe I've told you that several times now."_

"_Come on," she said, almost whining, "We used to date, I think we can at least call each other by our first names."_

"_Dr. Rice, we had lunch. That's hardly what I would call dating. Anyway, what was it that you needed to tell me?"_

"_Oh…" she said, her voice faltering at my harshness. "Do you have a niece?"_

"_Several." I answered, "Why?"_

"_There's a girl in the ER with your last name. Wasn't sure if she might be a relative."_

"_What's her name?" I ask with a voice full of fear, afraid one of my sister's kids has been hurt. _

"_Halle," she tells me, "Halle Ellis Shepherd."_

_Hearing that, I relax a little, none of my sisters have a daughter named Halle. As I let the breath I had been holding out, I just as quickly take it back in, Halle Ellis…"Do you have the chart?" I ask her._

"_It's neuro," she tells me, "They were going to page you, but I thought I'd just bring it to you," she said, handing me the chart. I take it from her, opening it immediately, my eyes searching for the birth date line. 2/14/07. That makes her ten, born in February…ten years ago in May…that was the last time I was with Meredith, oh God…this girl…she could be mine._

"_Thank you." I told Dr. Rice before jumping off the gurney and heading up to room 3113. _

"So," I begin, pulling away from her, "Are you ready for this?"

"I...I was born ready." She tells me, her voice now full of confidence.

She linked her arm with mine and she led me, rather than me her, to the entrance to the church. "The question is," she whispered as everyone turned around to look at her, "Are you ready." I don't have an answer for her, because really, I'll never be able to give her away. Not completely, no matter how old she gets, she'll still be my baby girl. "Just breathe," She whispers, wiping the lone tear off my cheek. It's at that moment I let out the breath I had been holding and take the final steps of letting go of my little girl.

"_Your roommate seems nice," I say to Halle, unsure of what to say to her, knowing that Meredith and I have to leave soon for our flight._

"_Yeah…" she replied, her voice trailing off. _

"_Baby, what's wrong?" I ask her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders._

"_Nothing…everything…I don't know. I can't believe I'm really here…but I'm going to be alone. I'm not so sure I can do that."_

"_Well baby, just like you told your sister before we left, you're only a phone call away, and the same holds true for your mom and I." I tell her, squeezing her against me._

"_And Will's here." She said, trying to reassure herself._

"_And Will's here," I repeat. "And Halle, he loves you."_

"_I know. It's just…scary."_

"_I know baby," I tell her, squeezing her again, "but remember, your mother and I love you. And we're so proud of you, valedictorian, Harvard, and you're doing it all a year early."_

"_Thanks, it's just…"_

"_Scary," I finish for her, "Want to know a secret?" I ask. She nods her head, "I'm scared too, it's just Hannah, your mom, and me," I told her with a sly smile, "who am I going to joke with?"_

"_What are you going to do when they start painting their nails?" She asks with a smile, "or talk about where to go shopping next." She says as she starts laughing._

"_There," I say to her, "there's that smile. Halle, you're going to be fine. And if not, well, we're always here for you."_

"_Well, are you about ready to head out?" Meredith asks as she returns from the bathroom._

"_How bad is the bathroom?" Halle asks her._

"_You'll live, you shared a bathroom with your sister for years." Mer tells her, walking over and wrapping Halle in a hug. "I love you baby," she told her before kissing her forehead._

"_I love you too, mom." She says before breaking the hug._

_I walk over to give her one more hug before Meredith and I head out, "I love you baby girl." I told her, rolling my tongue around my mouth to keep from crying. "And you'll always be my baby girl." I whisper before letting her go a little._

"_I love you too, dad." She told me._

"_Well," Meredith began, "I think this is it." She said, taking my hand and leading me out the door._

"_I love you guys," Halle tells us as she follows us out into the hall, locking the door behind her._

"_Where are you going?" Meredith asks her._

"_To see Will." She said with a small smile. "College does have its perks."_

_Mer and I exchange a glance and she squeezes my hand, silently telling me to let her go. I hold Mer's hand tightly as we watch our baby girl end one chapter in her life and begin a new one. _

All eyes in the room are on her as we walk down the aisle, and Halle, well, her eyes have been locked with Will's since we started walking. Once we reach Will, I stop and turn to face her, I lean in, giving her what looks like a kiss on the cheek, "Just breathe," I whisper, before placing her hand in Will's. I smile at the two of them and nod to Will, then take my seat next to Meredith.

As the ceremony goes on, I realize that there isn't a dry eye in the house. Next me, Meredith is holding on to my hand for dear life. I pull my hand out of her grip and she looks up at me with tear filled eyes, unsure as to why I've let her go. That look lasts about thirty seconds, until I wrap my arm around her and hold her against my chest. Our eyes return to the front of the church, where our daughter is exchanging vows with the love of her life, her best friend, and her soul mate.

I let my eyes wander once more, to the pew directly across from us where Miranda and Tucker are in the same position as Meredith and I. After a double take, I realize that Miranda is crying, and despite everything she said, I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that she's now related to Meredith and I and everything to do with her baby boy growing up.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," the minister said, and then looking at Will, "You may kiss the bride." I watch as Will leans in and softly puts his lips to Halle's and they kiss, softly, but anyone could see all the love behind it.

_I've got sunshine on a cloudy day.  _

_When it's cold outside I've got the month of May.  _

_I guess you'd say  What can make me feel this way?  _

_My girl (my girl, my girl)  Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl)._

_I've got so much honey the bees envy me.  _

_I've got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees.  _

_I guess you'd say  What can make me feel this way? _

_My girl (my girl, my girl)  Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl)._

_Hey hey hey  Hey hey hey  Ooooh._

_I don't need no money, fortune, or fame. _

_I've got all the riches baby one man can claim.  _

_I guess you'd say  What can make me feel this way?  _

_My girl (my girl, my girl)  Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl)._

_I've got sunshine on a cloudy day  with my girl.  _

_I've even got the month of May  with my girl. _

I hold back tears as we take to the dance floor and 'My Girl' starts playing. "You're going to cry again aren't you?" Halle asks me.

"You're my baby girl," is the only response I can give her.

"I love you dad," she says, raising her head so our identical eyes meet.

"I love you too baby," I tell her as we swirl around the floor, and I'm taken back, back to the first time I saw my eyes on another person.

_I'm unsure what to expect as my hand falls on the doorknob of room 3113. Shepherd, Halle Ellis, written in red ink, stares back up at me as I flip through her chart again._

"_That was fast," She says as I enter._

"_I don't hear that everyday," I tell her, closing the door behind me. It's then I see her struggling to get up to see who has entered her room, "Wait…wait. Hold on. Don't move." I call to her._

"_Can you come closer then? I…I can't see you." She said._

"_Sure," I told her, stepping closer to her bed so she can see me. I look down to take in the little girl who might be my daughter for the first time, and honestly, all the preparation in the world wouldn't have been enough. Staring back up at me are my eyes on a tiny body. "Hi there. I'm Dr. Shepherd," I tell her, swallowing hard, "and you are?" _

"_Halle." She said in a voice, sweet like Meredith's, "Halle Shepherd."_

"_Pleased to meet you Halle." I said, taking her hand and squeezing it. "Can you tell me what happened?"_

"_I…I'm not sure I remember everything," she told me, sounding much more scared than she had a few minutes ago._

"_Well," I said, taking her hand again and rubbing my thumb over her palm, like I used to do to Meredith when she was upset. I could see Halle start to relax and as she did, I did as well. "Just tell me what you remember."_

"_Friday," she said. "I was walking home with my friend Will. Miranda took us for pizza. They wished me luck with my meet in New York. The meet was…Sunday. Izzie and I flew on Saturday…I almost won…and I took a final vault, God knows why, but I don't really remember it. I guess I fell." _

"_You did fall," I tell her, still processing her words. Walking with her friend Will and getting Miranda taking them for pizza, she's friends with Bailey's son? God I've missed so much. "And I hear you landed on your head. But it looks like you can move your arms now." I tell her, offering her a smile._

"_Yeah," She told me and raised both arms up, and squeezed her hands into fists." I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I had been holding when she did that. She could move, the paralysis seemed to be dissipating, and she could be ok. _

"_Ok, Halle, can you wiggle your toes?" I asked her, once again holding my breath. Part of me died when I saw that she couldn't. Wow, it's different when they're yours, usually I'm all doctor, I want to fix people, but this…this is different. This little girl has managed to win my heart in a matter of moments and all I can think right now is that this is my little girl, that I haven't even gotten a chance to know yet. "Ok," I said, remembering that right now, in this moment, I needed to think like a doctor, not a father. Wow…I…I was somebody's father. I mean, it hadn't been confirmed by any reliable source, but…but I knew. She had my eyes, my hair, and she had my name. "Let me know when you feel something."_

"_Ok." She said, I was amazed at how unfazed she seemed by the whole situation. I took the tuning fork out of my lab coat pocket and began to poke up her left leg with it. I wanted to cry when I had reached her belly button before she felt anything._

"_So, here's what we're going to do," I told her, after poking her a little more. "I'm going to get you a CT scan and a few more x-rays. I'm going to give you the sedative for the CT, so after she puts this in," he says gesturing to the nurse holding a syringe…_

"_I'm going to feel a little sleepy, and I'll be groggy after I wake up." She finished for me. I stopped and looked at her in mild amazement, unsure exactly what to make of her. "My mom is a neurologist. In Seattle." She told me, giving me a slight smile, a smile I would have recognized anywhere because it belonged to the woman who still had my heart._

"_Ahh….she raised a smart daughter. Will she be back soon?" I asked, unsure why I had. I wasn't really sure I was prepared to see Meredith again, what would I say to her? What would she say to me? Would she even want to see me?_

"_Oh…her…NOT my mother." Halle's voice interrupts my thoughts. " She's on her way though." What? Meredith isn't here? Why is her daughter, our daughter in New York by herself? "Aunt Izzie said she'd be here soon." Ahhh…Izzie, Meredith must have been unable to come, I'm sure it's tearing her up inside. If there's one thing I know about Meredith it's how important this little girl would be to her. She wouldn't have wanted to miss a meet for the world._

"_Good. I'm looking forward to it." I tell her, looking down into her eyes again. I reach down and squeeze her hand, trying to reassure her, but unsure how. What I really want to do is pick her up, hold her in my arms, and start making up for all the years of her life I have missed._

_At that moment, Izzie came back in and her jaw hit the floor, "Dr. Shepherd." she said._

"_Dr. Stevens." I replied. "I was just talking to Halle and explaining how we were going to sedate her for a CT."_

"_Oh…ok." Izzie stuttered_

_I glanced from my daughter to Izzie and then back to Halle again before I nodded my head to Izzie and moved toward the door. I turned around once more before completely walking out the door and watched Izzie sit down in one of the chairs and take Halle's hand in one of hers and softly stroke her arm with the other._

"_Aunt Izzie," I barely hear Halle say, "He's here. The man in the picture. It's him."_

"_Yeah baby, he is." _

"Excuse me? Dr. Shepherd? Can I cut in?" Will's voice brings me back to present time. I realize our song has long since ended, but Halle's head still rests on my shoulder.

"William, you just married my daughter, please, call me Derek."

"Ok Dr. Shepherd." He replied. I just shook my head in amusement. I locked eyes with Halle one more time before I let go of her, wanting to remind her that I love her, and will always love her.

"I love you," I lean in and whisper before letting her go. "Go dance with your husband." I say with a smile on my face and a tear in my eye. I'm surprised when she grabs a hold of me in a hug one more time.

"I love you too dad," she whispered in my ear. "And I'll always be your baby girl."

I see Mer standing on the edge of the dance floor, watching me with Halle, she smiles at me, and I smile back. I take one last look at Halle, now settled in Will's arms, before heading over to dance with the love of my life.

"Have I told you that I love you yet today?" I ask, pulling her into my arms.


	44. Meredith 9

A/N: last chapter…but fear not, there will be an epilogue  this one is mer's pov…its set after the wedding…and really, its just a cute mer/der chapter with some fun flashbacks…

Sorry it took me so long to post….i found out Tuesday that I have a broken bone in my ankle…would have been helpful to know about that BEFORE the marathon….so ive been here there and everywhere, but maybe this means more writing….hehe…

Still don't own anything…..and i think the alerts are working now...i LOVE all the reviews..and now that i have the alerts, i can reply to them

**Seattle 2032**

"Beer?" I ask as I sit down on the step next to him. He doesn't say anything, just nods, takes the bottle from me, and continues to stare out into the backyard. "You alright?" I ask, wrapping an arm around his lower back.

"Yeah," he says softly after a few seconds, "it's just..."

"Their first day of kindergarten was yesterday?"

_I jumped in shock as the alarm went off, 6:30, I'm not used to sleeping in this late…crap, I am late. Wait, the girls, kindergarten, first day…right, I was off today. I stretched as I got out of bed and headed down to Hannah's room, figuring I'd wake her first as she always takes longer to get ready._

"_Hannah?" I say quietly as I enter her room, "Sweetie? It's time to get up, first day of school," I say as I make my way to her canopy bed, slightly concerned when I find it empty. Then I hear giggling from the room next door. I smile as I leave Hannah's room and head next door to Halle's. "Ladies?" I say as I push Halle's door open to find them snuggled together in Halle's canopy bed. _

"_Hi Mommy," two voice greet me as I make my way to the bed and sit on the edge of it._

"_Hi." I say, dropping a kiss on Hannah's forehead and reaching over to run a hand through Halle's hair. _

"_Do we have to go to school today?" Hannah asked me._

"_Yes sweetie, you have your first day of kindergarten today."_

"_I don't want to go." She said as I pulled her to a sitting position._

"_I do." Halle said with a big smile, jumping out of bed, walking over to her closet, and pulling out the uniform we had laid out the previous evening. "Will is going to be there, right?" she asks me._

"_Yes baby, Will starts first grade today."_

"_Can I be in Halle's class?" Hannah asked as I scooped her up._

"_Sweetie, we've been over this, you two are in different classes, but you'll be right down the hall from each other. I'm sure you will make lots of new friends." I tell her, trying to reassure her while questioning my decision to separate them at the same time._

_I carry her back to her room, where her own uniform is hanging on her closet door. I put her down and start helping her change into it. _

"_Mom." Halle's voice in the doorway causes me to turn around. I can't help but laugh as I take her in, her skirt, definitely backwards and her sweater, inside out._

"_Come here baby," I call to her, "let me help you."_

_Soon, uniforms are on, hair and teeth are brushed, lunches are packed, and we are on our way to the bus stop. "What if I don't like school?" Hannah asks, stopping dead in her tracks._

"_You will." I tell her, "You'll have a nice teacher and you'll make lots of new friends. What am I going to do if you don't want to come home." Both the girls laughed at that and I took comfort in the fact that they were loosening up. "Ok, we're here," I tell them once we've reached the end of the street. Stay on the bus until you get to school." I say, "And I will pick you both up at the end of the day." I remind them as the big yellow school bus comes into view._

"_There's the bus!" Halle exclaims._

"_There's the bus," I repeat. "Ready?" I ask, crouching down so I'm eye level with them._

"_Yeah." Said Halle with a smile._

"_I guess so," Hannah answered, offering me a small smile as well. I held out my arms and both girls fell into them. I squeezed them tightly and tried to hold back tears as I let them go and stood up once the bus stopped._

"_Bye mommy," Hannah said, hugging me one more time before walking over to the bus._

"_Bye mom." Halle said, heading towards the bus and then stopping. I watched as she turned around and then ran back to me, throwing herself in my arms. "I love you." _

"_I love you too." I told her, dropping a kiss on the top of her head, "Have fun at school."_

"Yeah," he said, in a voice just above a whisper, "Meredith, I...I'm sorry." he says a few seconds later.

"What are you sorry for?" I ask him, slightly concerned.

"You...you've known her since day one." he began, turning to face me, "You have the memories of first words and first steps and first days of school and first slumber parties. You're her mother, Mer, this is probably so much harder on you...and I haven't even asked how you were...all I've done all day is wish that she was my little girl again."

"Shhh..." I tell him, placing a soft kiss to his lips. "I may have given birth to her, and I may have raised her alone for ten years, but that little girl has been yours since the moment she opened her big blue eyes and looked at me."

_"Is she alright?" I ask, looking up at Izzie as she hands me a crying newborn. _

_"She's fine, Mer, ten fingers, ten toes, she just doesn't want to settle down or go to sleep. I was all out of ideas upstairs, so I thought I'd bring her down to you for a while, if you were up to it." _

_"Sure," I say, as I begin rocking the wailing yellow bundle in my arms. "Is she hungry?" _

_"Maybe, but you just fed her an hour ago. You can try if you'd like." she told me. _

_"Shhh..." I whispered to the baby, running a finger over a tiny curl of black hair sticking out of her hat, "mommy's here," I say, running the same finger down her little cheek. I continued to rub her cheek and she seemed to settle down almost instantly, the next time I looked down at her, she was fast asleep. "Or maybe she just wanted her mom." I whispered to Izzie. _

_Izzie nodded in agreement before her pager went off. "Are you ok with her for a while?" She asked. I nodded my head in response. "Page me if you need me." She said before leaving me alone with my baby. _

_I sat for a while, holding my sleeping child to my chest, thinking about how in love with her I was already. My thoughts were interrupted by a small poking, and I looked down to see a pair of blue eyes staring back up at me. "Hi baby," I said softly, as I extended my finger out to the small hand she had managed to wiggle out of the blanket. I watched in awe as she wrapped her tiny hand around my finger, leading it to her mouth, and then chewing on it or sucking on it or doing whatever it is that babies do._

_I look down at her and smile, not sure how she managed to steal my heart so quickly. Then I remembered her little clump of dark curls and her piercing blue eyes, she is her father's daughter. _

"Yesterday they were playing dress up and finding kittens and doing gymnastics and falling out of trees and today they're getting married and having babies and being doctors, it's a little overwhelming, and it's ok if it makes you sad." I tell him, taking a sip of the beer.

"Did you ever think that we'd end up here?" he asks me, turning slightly so one leg is on the porch and then settling me so that I rest between his legs with my back is against his chest.

"I...God I hoped so. I...I thought about it...all the time. What it would have been like, if you were here," I tell him, picking up his free hand and wraping it around my stomach. "I kept hoping that maybe you'd come back, for a consult or something...or in my ultimate fantasy, for me. And I thought about coming to you...so many times, but life...life got in the way, and then I thought it was too late." I say, moving my hand up to brush a piece of hair out of my face, and feeling tears I didn't know I was crying on my face. I quickly wiped at them, not wanting him to know I was crying.

"Shhh..." he said, "I should have. Come back, that is. For you. A long time ago." he told me, kissing the top of my head and squeezing my hand. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"I'm not."

"You're a bad liar," he told me, kissing my head again.

"I'm surprised you didn't find out sooner." I said, "I ran into Adele Webber at the store one day, back when she and Richard were still separated. The girls were...four, I think."

_"Mommy, stay still..." Halle murmers into my neck, as I move my arm to throw a box of cereal into the cart. I feel her hot skin against my neck as she attempts to bury her little face further into me. I should have just taken her home, I should have known something was wrong when she started calling me mommy and hanging all over me after day care. But I'm pretty sure Hannah used up the last of the cold medicine last week and I have absolutely nothing to feed them. _

_"Sorry baby," I tell her, trying to soothe her, "I know you don't feel good. We're almost done, then we'll go home and I'll put you to bed." _

_"You'll read me a story?" she questions softly. _

_"Yes baby, I'll read you a story." That seems to satisfy her and she snuggles her face back into my neck. I reach up to brush a few stray locks of hair off her cheek and realize how warm she really is, God, I feel like such a bad mother, what kind of parent takes their sick child grocery shopping. _

_"Mommy! Mommy!" Hannah's yell from the cart interrupts my thoughts, "Can we?" she asks, reaching for a box of frosted animal crackers and kicking her little legs against the cart. _

_"Hannah Grace, do not even think about it. You have a box of cookies in the cart already." I almost laugh at her pout, it's the same one I have in a picture from my third birthday, apparently I reacted the same way when I wasn't allowed to eat the entire cake. "Chocolate chip cookies," I say, "at home. And you know when Aunt Izzie gets back at the end of the week she'll bake you whatever you want." This seemed to cheer her up and I was rewarded with a smile. "Now, stop kicking so I can push the cart." _

_"Ok mommy." She said, giving me her soft smile, exemplifying her father's dimples. God I miss him sometimes, well, all the time. "Is Halle ok?" she asks me, running a hand down Halle's leg, which causes Halle to kick at her. _

_"She's fine sweetie, she just feels icky. Like you did last week." I tell her in my best attempt to explain the flu to a four year old. _

_"Oh..." she responded. _

_"Don't touch her, ok?" Hannah nodded. "And you," I said, turning to the girl in my arms, "don't kick your sister." She mumbled some sort of response into my neck, I think along the lines of ok, mommy. _

_Ok, what else, I ask myself. Dinner. Right. God, I can't cook, who am I kidding? I walk over to the ready to eat section, hoping to pick up a chicken and maybe some macaroni and cheese, since it's pretty much the only thing Hannah will eat lately. _

_"Dr. Grey?" I hear behind me, just as I'm trying to figure out how to pick up the chicken with one hand, "Meredith?" I turn around slowly and find myself face to face with Adele Webber. I haven't seen Adele since...prom night? The day after? Whenever it was that she left Richard. _

_"Adele," I say, plastering a smile to my face. _

_"I haven't seen you in ages." she tells me walking closer. _

_"I know," I reply, "It's been years." Four of them, I silently add to myself, the last time I saw her was right around the last time I saw Derek. _

_"And who are these lovely girls?" She asks, looking at the my kids. _

_"I'm Hannah." Hannah tells her, of course it would be right now that she'd decide not to be shy. "I'm four." _

_"She's adorable, Meredith. Looks just like you, except for that smile. Looks so familiar though." She said, shaking her head as if she's trying to remember, but I can tell she knows more than she's letting on. _

_Crap...crap...I should be able to come up with a coherent response, but I just can't. I stand there, looking at her, smiling like an idiot I'm sure, until Halle breaks the silence for me. _

_"Mommy?" she says softly as she picks her head up off my shoulder. "Who's that?" She asks, looking at Adele with her big blue eyes and sleep matted dark curls. Double crap, I think to myself. _

_"This is Adele," I tell her, "she's a friend of mommy's." _

_"Oh," Halle says, before tucking her head back into my neck. _

_I look back at Adele, half hoping she's walked away or the floor has opened and will swallow me whole, but no, she's there. Looking at me as if I owe her some explanation. _

_"Now she is her father's child," Adele told me, giving me a look I couldn't place, and then picking up the chicken and setting it in my cart. "Mistakes always come back to haunt us, Meredith." she said in a voice just above a whisper, before turning around and walking off. _

"I'm glad you're laughing," I say, blindly reaching behind me to run a hand through his hair, "I didn't sleep for weeks. I was paranoid that you were going to come back and...and I don't know what...maybe part of me wanted you to. But Lord knows, I had no idea what to say to you."

"You?" He questions, "Once I got over the initial shock that Halle was mine, the shock set in that I was going to see you again. God I was so scared, I had no idea what to say to you...or if you'd even talk to me. I left you, I felt horrible. Then Izzie or Addison had mentioned that 'they' were on 'their' way," he said, setting down the beer and wrapping both arms around me and squeezing. "Then I realized that I might be seeing the love of my life dating or married to someone else."

"It was always you, Derek." I replied softly.

"I know, baby, I know."

"Too bad though, what's her face at the hospital sure had a thing for you."

"Dr. Rice?" he said chuckling..."yeah, she was something."

_I can't shake the guilty feeling as I walk back into the hospital and take the elevator up to Halle's room. Derek had kicked me out after holding me for over two hours in the on call room. He made me go in, kiss our daughter goodbye, and then put me in a cab back to the hotel with Hannah and Izzie, telling me something about my not having slept in days and I needed my rest. So, I reluctantly left and then couldn't sleep alone after spending two hours in his arms. _

_I hear voices as I exit the elevator on Halle's floor and near her room. _

_"Dad where are we going?" I hear her ask. _

_"For a walk." I hear Derek answer._

_"I get to walk?" _

_"No. I get to walk. You get to ride." He tells her. Rather than interrupt their bonding moment, I pause where I am to watch from afar. _

_"But I don't want to be in a wheelchair."_

_"Who said anything about a wheelchair," I heard Derek respond seconds before I see him exit Halle's room with her comfortably situated in his arms. He's going to make such a good father, I said to myself as I watched him carry her toward the nurse's station._

_"Where are we going?" she asks him._

_"Not sure." he tells her, "Where do you want to go?"_

_"Doesn't matter." She replies, laying her head on his shoulder. I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding. Watching him with her makes my heart melt. "That way." She says, extending her arm and pointing at the nurse's station._

"_Ok." Derek said, "You're the boss." Halle responded with laughter as Derek carried her toward the third floor nurse's station._

"_Derek? Derek?" I hear a voice call from the opposite end of the hallway. I turn to see a petite blonde woman running towards m daughter and my…my…my whatever Derek is, my Derek I guess. "Derek?" she says again, reaching them. As she does, I see Derek's whole demeanor change, his shoulder's slumped and I'm sure if I could see his face, it would have fallen behind his smile. _

"_Watching the scene unfold?" asks a voice behind me. I turn and am face to face with Addison._

"_Morning," I say to her, still not sure how to interact with her._

"_I'd love to catch up," she began, "but I have to check on a patient."_

"_No problem, I understand."_

"_Halle's doing well?"_

"_Should be able to go home in a few days."_

"_Good." She said as she continued down the hall, "And Meredith," she called over her shoulder, "he only has eyes for you." As she walks away, I turn my attention back to Derek and the approaching woman._

"_I wondered where you had disappeared to these past few days." The woman began, either not noticing or not caring that Derek wasn't interested in whatever she had to say. "Wow she does look like you. So, I take it the little girl I told you about the other night was your niece? I figured as much, so, have you been busy with family stuff? When do I get to meet them?"_

_I watched as Derek carefully set Halle on the desk before addressing the woman. "Dr. Rice," he began, "I have told you multiple times that you need to call me Dr. Shepherd. And not that it should matter to you, but yes, I have been quite occupied with family stuff these past few days."_

"_Family stuff that involves an on call room?" she asked, looking extremely snide from far away. I couldn't see the look Derek was giving her, but I'm sure it would kill if looks could. "What?" she asked innocently, "nurses talk Dr. Shepherd." _

"_Who are you?" Halle asked, finally speaking up. I watched as both adults turned their attention towards her. "I have been in a hospital bed for days now. No one has let me do ANYTHING. I guess that's what happens when you have brain surgery and then find out BOTH of your parents are neurosurgeons. And I finally get to go out for a walk and now here you are distracting my dad, so I'm sitting here…AGAIN." At this point, I'm biting my lip to keep from laughing, in this moment, I am so in love with my precocious ten year old._

"_Your…she's…she's yours?"_

"_Dr. Rice," Derek began, also trying to stifle a laugh at this point. "I'd like you to meet my daughter, Halle." He said, scooping Halle back up into his arms. As he picks her up, her line of sight changes and I have become clearly visible to her._

"_Mom!!" Halle yells, forcing me out of the shadows. Both Derek and the woman both look in my direction, Derek looking happy, but scared to see me, and the blonde just looking angry._

"_Hi," I say, shyly as I walk over to them. "Hi baby," I said to my daughter, kissing her cheek._

"_Mer," Derek says, shifting Halle to one arm and running his now free hand down my cheek to my shoulder and finally resting it on the small of my back. Our eyes meet and we hold each other's gaze for what seems like forever, neither wanting to look away._

"_Ahem…" The blonde says breaking us from our trance. _

"_Oh…right," Derek said, reluctantly turning to face her again, but pulling me close to him. "Dr. Rice," he said, "This is Meredith. She…she is my family. She's my world. Her and the two beautiful little girls we made." We watch somewhat in satisfaction as she turns red and turns around, heading down the hall, nearly taking out Addison as she does._

"_I…I hope that didn't upset you." Derek said, setting Halle back on the counter. I took full advantage of his guard being down as he turned around and grabbed him, bringing my lips to his and kissing him with all I had._

"_I love you." I told him. "And I'm glad you want us to be your family." I finished, biting my lip, waiting for his reaction. My breath drew in when he grabbed a hold of me and kissed me back._

"_I love you too." He told me as he pulled away._

"_Hey! Hey!" We both turned to face our daughter, "You promised me a walk. I want a walk."_

"_That I did," Derek said, scooping her up in one arm and placing another in the small of my back. "What do you say we take our walk together? Maybe get some pancakes?" He said as we walked away together._

"I think I fell in love with you again in that moment," he said.

"I know I did," I tell him, "I'm pretty sure I was standing there grinning like an idiot watching you with Halle. I knew you'd make such a good father...you are, a good father." I tell him before he turns my head to meet his and kisses me deeply. "Wow..." I say breathless, "After all these years, you still take my breath away."

"I love you." he says.

"I love you too."

"Sometimes, I just...I can't believe it."

"That I love you?" I ask, feigning hurt.

"No silly, that after everything we went through getting here, that we're here...and as in love as we were the day we met." he tells me, before kissing me again. "And...and I almost lost you," he said quietly, his voice wavering slightly.

"I know," I say, looking back at him, "but I couldn't ever leave you." I tell him, squeezing his hand.

"_I can't believe she did that." Derek says once the doctors have examined me, the girls have visited, and we've had an intense relationship talk._

"_Halle?" I question, "Conspiring with Will to take the bus here on her own? And not telling anyone?" He nods his head. "Sounds about right to me." I say, laughing as he shakes his head in disbelief. "Your daughter," I tell him._

"_I love you, you know that, right?" _

_I nod my head in response, "I love you too." I tell him. "I'm glad we did this. The talking. Now we can…let go. And move on." I say, trying to scoot over in the bed so there's room for him to lie next to me. He gets the idea and stands up, helping me slide over before kicking off his shoes and climbing in next to me._

_I arch my back slightly and wince in pain. "Are you ok?" He asks, "any pain?"_

"_A little," I tell him, "but, I'm ok. I just…will you just hold me?"_

"_Of course." He tells me, settling me against him. "But you'll tell me if the pain gets any worse?" _

_I murmur yes into his chest as I get comfortable. I take a deep breath and relish the feeling of being in his arms again, a feeling I have missed for the past two months and a feeling I thought I would never have again. I look up into his eyes and find them full of unshed tears._

"_Derek?" I ask softly._

"_I…I thought I had lost you." He said, running a hand over my face._

"_I thought I'd never lie in your arms again," I responded._

"_Oh Mer," he said, before dropping his lips to mine in a soft kiss. "I just…I feel like this whole thing is my fault. If we hadn't fought, you wouldn't have left, and then you wouldn't have been at that intersection and…" his voice trails off as he gets choked up._

"_Shhh…" I say, lifting a hand and placing a finger to his lips. "It's over now. Let's forget the rest of the world for now. Just…just hold me. And tell me a story."_

"_A story?" he asks._

"_Yes. A story. You do understand the concept of a story, you are a brain surgeon after all."_

"_Ok, what would you like to hear about?"_

"_You."_

"_Me?"_

"_You…and how the hell you survived being Mr. Mom for two months," I tell him with a chuckle, and then look up to give him a smirk._

"That night was..." He began, and I turned to face him and was met with tearfilled eyes.

"Shhh..." I tell him, turning and wiping a stray tear off his cheek. "It's over, and I'm here now."

We sit for what seems like an eternity, in comfortable silence, marveling at how wrapped up in each other we still were, all these years later.

"Do we seriously have the house to ourselves again tonight? Despite the fact that we just had a wedding?" I can't see his face, but I don't need to, I know he's giving me that leering look he knows I can't resist.

"Seriously," I say, tipping my head back to look at him, giving him our look. "It's sad, really."

"What? The fact that neither of us has any self control?" He asks, before scooping me into his arms, standing up, and carrying me in the house.


	45. epilogue

A/N: ok….the much anticipated epilogue….and I think I held off posting it because I know it means the end. And im…sad. I think im going to miss this more than I thought I would. I originally started it to get through writers block….back in…july. I started an original piece in july 05 and its maybe 100 pages…maybe, I don't even think its that big. And this has quickly grown from a piece to break up writers block to a 218 page document in a matter of months. And you guys have been amazing…I wasn't sure how this would be received and I was really nervous posting it because….well, sharing my writing isn't something I do that often….but you have all be wonderful, your reviews have made my day on countless occasions and mean more than i could ever say and I will miss you terribly, but I know I must get back to my original stuff if I ever want to take this anywhere…I do occasionally post in my livejournal…which is in my info here if anyone wants to check it out...its friends only, but comment and ill add you. And who knows, maybe ill write another fic at some point, this has been way too much fun 

Still don't own anything…..

Without further adiou…the epilogue….

**Seattle 2034**

Everyone deserves white picket fences. And as I look around the room, I think everyone eventually finds them.

In some cases, all it takes is time. Time to fall in love, time to make mistakes, time to forgive, and time to move forward. A smile crosses my face as I look across the table at my parents. Both grey with age but vibrant and full of life as my father's hand rests on my mother's bare shoulder. It took them awhile, and most people would have given up, but somehow, somehow they found the way back to their true love. As I watch my dad's hand trace patterns on my mom's shoulder, I know both of them want nothing more than to find an empty cloakroom, but for now, they sit, content in each other's love, watching as their daughter dances the first dance with the love of her life.

Sometimes, it takes tragedy. I look over to the table where Keith's dad and stepmother are sitting. Both had loved and lost but through each other had learned to love again.

Yet, other times, it takes an accident. My eyes meet those of my niece, a bouncy two year-old, as she peeks at me over my mother's shoulder. She's such a beautiful little girl, with her mother's honey blonde hair and her father's blue eyes. Looking at her now, you would never believe that she was the first premature infant I brought into this world.

_"You," I say to Keith, "Call my parents, tell them to get on the next plane out here. But first, call your step-mother on that phone," I tell him, pointing at the phone in the delivery room, cursing in my mind that I've been left alone today of all days, "Because she's going to have to talk me through this." _

_"Halle? Halle?" Hannah's raspy, tired voice somehow cuts through the craziness. _

_"I'm here Hannah," I say, trying to reassure her, "What's wrong? Did the pain get worse?" I breathe a sigh of relief when she shakes her head. _

_"If...if it comes down to it, save her, not me." _

_"Hannah Grace Shepherd! Look at me," I say to her, in a voice she knows means business. "No one is dying today. Got it.?" I ask, and walk over to squeeze her hand, just like I have for years. _

_"Ready?" Keith asks._

_"Yeah, put her on speaker phone." I tell him._

_"Halle?"_

"_Addison," I never thought I'd be this glad to hear the voice of my dad's ex-wife._

_Before we can continue, we are interrupted by Hannah's scream._

_"It's ok baby, you can do this," Keith assures her, taking her hand. "Breathe, baby, breathe."_

_"Dr. Shepherd-Jones," Addison's voice fills the room, "breathe. You can do this. I've taught you well. We delivered countless preemies that summer you worked with me."_

_"How are you doing Hannah?"_

_"I'm having a baby. Other than that, I'm good." I relaxed a little at her comment and then a little more once I heard Addison laughing at her. _

_Our moment was short-lived once we heard Hannah scream in pain as a contraction overtook her once more. "Hannah," I said, once the contraction had passed and I knew how far along she was, "Next one, you need to push."_

"_It's too soon…the baby…she's too little."_

"_Hannah, I've done everything I can, but I can't stop your labor. If you want your baby to have a chance, you need to push."_

_She sighed and a look of sadness crossed her face, "Ok, Halle, I…I trust you. We…we can get through this. Just like we always…haaavvve." Her last words were cut off by another contraction. Keith held her hand and coached her through her breathing, and I felt the top of my niece's head. _

"_Wait!" Hannah called to me once the contraction was over. I looked up at her, "Mom isn't here…she promised to be here." she said, her voice suddenly turning sad._

"_I know sweetie, I know. Keith called her."_

"_She's on her way now baby." Keith told her, wiping her forehead._

"_I know…this wasn't supposed to happen…I just…it just…aaaaaahhhhhhhh." Her voice was lost once another contraction hit._

"_Ok, Hannah, I need you to push again," I told her, "You're almost there. One or two more big pushes…"_

"_AAAAAHHHHH."_

"_Good…the head is almost out." I tell her, amazed that she's done so well. "You're doing great."_

"_AAAAAHHHH." _

_Once Hannah stopped screaming the only sound that could be heard was the crying of her newborn baby. "Congratulations, you have a beautiful baby girl." I tell them. "Do you want to cut the cord?" I ask Keith. I smile as he nods his head and moves towards me._

"_Is she?" Hannah asks, exhausted._

"_Ten fingers, ten toes, she's a little small, but, at first glance, she seems to be just fine."_

_I hand the baby to a nurse to be checked and a short time later, she is handed back to me. "Hi baby," I say softly, "Want to meet your mommy and daddy?" I ask, walking the baby over to Hannah's bed. "She's beautiful," I tell them as I hand the baby to Hannah._

"_Allison Grace Sloan." Hannah says, tiredly smiling up at me. "Allison cause it's kind of like Ellis…and Addison…or something." I smile and try to hold the tears as she tells me this, and I'm pretty sure that 3000 miles away, Addison is doing the same. "And Grace cause that's my middle name and the hospital where we grew up and where mom met dad. And Sloan because that's the name of the wonderful man who gave me the greatest gift I could ever ask for." She said, tears trailing down her cheeks._

_I watch the new family fall in love with each other for a few seconds before I walk over to take the phone off speaker._

"_Addison?" I ask, "thank you."_

"_That, Dr. Shepherd-Jones, was all you. You're a wonderful doctor." _

I smile at her and lift my eyes to her parents, so wrapped up in their dance and their new life and most of all, each other.

And then there are those crazy times where you just know. You learn at an early age who's going to build your white picket fences. As I lean back into the arms of my husband, I know that he is my everything.

"Did you tell them yet?" Will leans down to whisper in my ear as he wraps his arms protectively around my stomach.

"Kind of."

"What do you mean, kind of?"

"Well…someone had to process the transfers…and my dad is chief and I can't keep a secret and your mother has been glowing for the past week, which hasn't gone unnoticed."

"Mom's been glowing?" Will asked, somewhat surprised.

"According to my mom." I tell him. "She's the happiest she's been since before…" I say, my voice trailing off at the thought of Tucker's accident last year.

_I shouldn't be here, I keep telling myself. I should be back at Will's doing...whatever it is you're supposed to do after a funeral. I don't really know...and I don't think I'm supposed to. You aren't supposed to drive drunk and you're not supposed to hit my husband's father and he sure as hell wasn't supposed to die. Not this way, not this soon. _

_I feel bad for leaving. I know I need to be there for Will. He's been so strong and I know he'll break eventually, and I'm his wife, I need to be there for him. But I just, I had to get out of there. I couldn't take it anymore, seeing Miranda so broken when she's normally so strong, seeing the hollow in Will's normally vibrant eyes, and the memories, the memories were everywhere, even for me, that part was hard. _

_So I did the only thing I could, I got in my dad's car and left for the one place I knew would make me feel better. As I finally get out of the car, I realize it has started pouring. Fitting, I think, rain and Seattle and funerals. _

_I'm not sure how long I stand next to the car in the rain before I feel stong arms pulling me into a hug. _

_"Dad?" _

_"Yeah, it's me baby girl," he says softly, "come on, let's go inside." He walks me into the house, his arms around me the entire way, letting go only to close the door behind us and to help me pull off my coat. "You ok?" He asks as he leads me to the couch. _

_"Yeah," I respond, not looking at him as we sit down on the couch. _

_"You sure?" He asks, wrapping his arms around me again and pulling me against him. _

_"un huh." I say into his chest. That's the last thing I get out before the tears I've held in for four days fall with reckless abandon. _

_"Shhh...It's ok..." he whispered, running a hand through my hair. _

_"Please don't ever die." I tell him through my sobs. _

_"Shhh..." He says, "I'm here. I won't let you go." _

_We stayed like that until long after my sobs had quieted. At some point my mom came downstairs and joined our hug and cried with us. She then led me upstairs and got me a shower and put me in my old bed before climbing in with me. When I woke up the next morning to the smell of pancakes and coffee with her arms still around me, I knew for sure that no matter what, home would always make me feel better. _

"Good."

"Good." I reply with a smile.

We sit like that, him holding me, watching my dad hold my mom, and my mom hold her granddaughter until the dance ends.

"Unca Will." My niece's voice interrupts my thoughts and my moment with my husband. I smile as I look down at her, tugging on Will's leg, amazed at the love she has developed for my husband.

"Allie Grace!" he exclaims, scooping her up. I lift my gaze and my eyes meet my mom's, whose eyes seem to be saying, sorry. I shake my head and laugh, we love her too, I say back without words.

"Halle," Will says, nudging me with his elbow. "Go dance with your dad." I smile and nod my head as I stand up and walk over to him.

"May I have this dance?" I ask with a smile, extending my hand.

"I can't refuse a pretty girl." He tells me, standing up and leading me to the dance floor.

I hear the first chords of 'My Girl' playing as we take to the floor. "It seems like someone has set us up." I say with a smile.

"Someone indeed…could it be that your husband and father have conspired once again?"

"It appears that way," I tell him, giving him a smirk.

"So, Seattle?" He asks, a smile on his face.

"Seattle," I say, smiling back. "Does mom know? Wait…don't answer that, you told her the first night." He just looks back at me guiltily. "It's ok," I tell him, "Will and I are the same way."

"She's thrilled, you know. She hasn't said anything because I told her you wanted to surprise her. She's going to give you the hou…" He stops abruptly, knowing he's taken this further than he should have.

"You really suck at keeping secrets, you know that, right?"

"Umm….mums the word. And I'll be surprised. But she's giving us the house? Grandma's town house? The one Hannah and I grew up in?"

"It's not doing anything else right now."

"Wow…Holy…she's giving us the house." I say with a smile.

I lay my head against his shoulder and drink in the moment as we dance to our song. All the craziness, all the mishaps, the accidents, the failures, and the near misses had finally landed us here. All of us, and somehow, we had all found happiness.

"I thought I heard someone down here," my dad said to me hours later as he walked into the kitchen.

"Someone?" I ask, "were you expecting a random?"

He smiles as I pulls out the chair across from me and sits down. "Well, someone that was either you or Will."

"Cause Will makes a habit of roaming our house at two in the morning." I tell him, rolling my eyes and taking another bite of my cheesecake. "Izzie makes the best cheesecake," I attempt to say as I lick the last of the bite off my fork.

"That she does," he replies, leaning back to grab a fork off the counter.

"Hey!" I yell as he uses the new found fork to cut into my cheesecake. "Get your own." I tell him, putting an arm around my plate.

"Didn't I teach you to share?" he asks with a smirk.

"Maybe...wait...yes, yes you did. Here," I say, pushing the plate across the table to him. "It's all yours."

"Why do I get the feeling you're up to something?" He asks as I get up from the table and walk over to the fridge.

"Because you would be," I say, smirking back at him.

"Halle Ellis Shepherd-Jones, you are not..." He begins once he figures out what I'm doing.

"Oh but I am. That's the best part of being an adult. I can eat dessert first, or I can just eat dessert...at 2 am." I say, setting down almost half of a cheesecake on the table. "What?" I ask him as I sit back down. "I shared with you. But, you managed to get all of my names right, so I guess you can have some more." I tell him; taking his plate, cutting another piece of cheesecake, and giving him back the full plate.

"You do have a lot of names there baby girl," he tells me, taking a bite.

"This is true...but it was the only way to go without having rhyming names." I tell him with a chuckle.

"That would have been fun."

"Only cause you would have made fun."

"Never said I wouldn't."

"What are you doing up anyway?" I ask him as I take another bite. "With the way you and mom were looking at each other all night, I'm surprised her dress stayed on all night."

"We've been home for two hours now," he tells me, "time to refuel...and the dress...didn't make it three steps into the bedroom."

"Ok, really, didn't need to know that."

"You were here first. What are you doing down here?"

"We've been home two hours, need to refuel...and my dress...didn't make it to the bedroom." I tell him with an I-told-you-so smirk.

"Touche." He says, shaking his head as he takes another bite.

"Did you think, all those years ago, that we'd end up here?" I ask, interrupting the comfortable silence we had been sitting in.

"Never doubted it for a second." He told me, without missing a beat. "From the moment I met you, I knew I wanted to teach you to drive, watch you graduate, and walk you down the aisle." I smiled in response.

"Cheesecake time without me?" Mom asks from the doorway.

"Wow...I didn't even hear you come down," I told her as she crosses the room and sits down between us.

"Cause I'm sneaky like that," She replies, snatching the fork out of my unsuspecting dad's hand.

"Whh..." He asks, looking confused as she digs into the cheesecake.

"That's what happens." I said with a smile.

"That's what happens when?" He asked, looking from me to then her and then back again.

"When you're...what was that word we used in high school?"

"Whipped?" Mom finished for me, chuckling.

"Whipped?" He asked us both, confused.

"Yes. Meaning you haven't taken your eyes off her in that fluffy lavender robe since she walked in here. Thus distracting you, making it easier for her to steal your spoon. And the rest of the cheesecake," I tell him, gesturing to the piece and a half that's left.

"Mer," he says, sliding his chair closer to her. "Remember when you told me you loved me enough to give me the last piece of cheesecake?"

I smile in response, interested to see where this is going. "I do...I remember that day quite well. But, twenty six years, two kids, one grandkid, and two weddings later, this is all mine, mister." She says, putting her arm around the plate and sliding it closer to her.

"Apparently she never learned to share." I told him.

"So that's where you get it from." He told me, but was silenced as she fed him a bite of the cheesecake.

"Mmmmm..." He said, smiling at her, then giving her what I have come to know as 'their look.'

"More?" she asks, offering him another bite, which he takes.

I sit for a few minutes, smiling as I watch them feed each other cheesecake. Seeing them now, how happy and in love with each other they are, it's hard to believe a time before this existed.

_"Mommy?" I ask softly, rolling over in bed to face her._

_"Hey baby girl," she answered, running a hand through my hair and then resting it on my forehead. "You're still warm. Do you feel sick again?"_

_I shook my head slowly, "My head hurts a little, and I'm tired."_

_"Do you want anything?" She asked, glancing at the clock, 6:23am. "I can get you more Tylenol in an hour."_

_I shook my head again, slower this time, exhaustion and nausea both taking their toll. "Will you rub my back?"_

_"Of course baby," she said, wrapping an arm around me and scooting me closer to her._

_"Mom?" I asked after her hands had been tracing patterns on my back for a few minutes._

_"Yes?" she asked, sounding slightly concerned._

_"I'm not going to puke again." I told her. _

_"Well, that's good. But if you need to, there's a bowl on the night table."_

_"I threw up on my bed, didn't I?" I ask, slightly upset._

_"Shh…don't worry, it's ok."_

_"Sorry."_

_"Shhh…" she said again, kissing my forehead, "it's ok. It happens."_

_"Mom?" I ask her again, "Can you tell me a story?"_

_"Sure baby. What do you want me to tell you a story about?" _

_"My dad."_

_"Hmmm…." She began, sounding a little sad, "I can do that. Come here baby," she said, pulling me closer and situating me so that my head was laying on her chest, so one of her hands was rubbing my back and the other was stroking my face. "Let's see, daddy…he lives far away…"_

_"Like in Shrek?"_

_"Kind of like in Shrek, and he's a good, caring person, and he didn't want to leave, but…but he had to." _

_"He saves lives, right?"_

_"That he does." She told me with a smile._

_"Like you?"_

_"Like me. And even though he lives far away, he loves you and your sister very much, I'm sure of it." _

_"What does he look like?"_

_"Well, he has the most beautiful blue eyes, and thick, dark, hair, like someone else I know." She said, running her hand through my hair._

_"Do you have a picture?" I asked. While she had told me this story countless times, I had yet to actually see what my dad looked like. Everyone told me that I looked like him, but I really wanted to see for myself. I looked into my mother's sad eyes, and even at five, I could tell this was a tough subject. I smiled when she nodded her head._

_"Do you want to see it?" I smiled, then nodded. "Ok," she answered before resting me on her pillows and sliding out of bed. She walked over to the dresser and dug something out of the top, right drawer before crawling back into bed with me. "Come here, baby." She said, cradling me against her again. "This is your dad." She told me,_

_handing me the picture._

_I gazed at the picture for a few minutes before I said anything. It was of my mom and a man on a Ferryboat. His arms were wrapped around her and she was leaning into his chest. Both had on fleece jackets, jeans, and my mom had the biggest smile I had ever seen. I reached out with one finger and touched the man next to her. He had thick, _

_wavy, brown hair and blue eyes._

_"He…he looks like me." I said with a smile._

_"Yes he does baby girl, yes he does." After that I handed the picture back to her and watched her lay it on the bedside table. I yawned and curled into her once she was holding me again. And in seconds, I was asleep._

I hear my mom laughing and I look up to see her licking the final bit of cheesecake off the fork and my dad looking at her longingly. I start laughing when he reaches over and pulls her into his lap. A few years ago, I would have found this positively revolting, but now...it's kind of cute. I can only hope that twenty-six years, two kids, one grandkid, and two weddings later, Will and I still have this much love for each other.

"You guys need a room." I tell them, standing up and pushing the chair under the table.

"Not a bad idea." Dad says before dropping a light kiss on her lips and standing, holding her in his arms.

"Nite kids." I call after them as they leave the kitchen. "Don't wake Allie." I chuckle as I watch them leave and then put the dishes in the sink. A few seconds later I jump as hands slide around my waist.

"Morning beautiful." Will says into my hair. "Did I miss a Shepherd family cheesecake party?" he asks as I spin around.

"Nah," I tell him, "just my parents having no self control."

"You know what?" He asks, bringing his forehead down on mine.

"What?"

"When it comes to you, neither do I." That's all he says before his lips meet mine and I feel my feet leaving the floor as he picks me up and carries me up the stairs.

_fin_


End file.
